Nightfall
by HarrySavesMe
Summary: Six years after the events of Breaking Dawn, Jacob, Renesmee, Bella, and Edward decide to attend Dartmouth College..together! Meanwhile Simon and Bram are also new to Dartmouth, glad to be free, and especially relieved to be together. But paths cross, and with dawning horror, they learn their world isn't as safe or normal as they thought it was. Bella/Edward, Simon/Bram, Jake/Ness
1. Chapter 1: Changes (Jacob)

Nightfall

 _Chapter 1- Changes - Jacob_

Warm chocolate shimmering eyes met mine and I felt perceptibly warmer; like that was possible. The crashing waves and lazy cries of evening gulls provided a nice background white noise to this moment.

"What did you say?" I asked because I missed what she said, lost in what may very well be the last perfect summer day left at La Push.

"I said I hate talking so much," said the center of my existence.

"Well, it's good practice. For where we're going…" I trailed off. I tried to avoid talking about the move. I wasn't looking forward to this change and I knew I couldn't keep that emotion off my face. I didn't want to ruin this for her.

"Do you think it's weird that I want to go with mom and dad?" she forced herself to speak instead of showing me. I knew she was feeling self conscious about how much she didn't like being separated from her parents. But after everything when she was a kid, it made perfect sense. I smiled an effortless warm smile.

"Are you kidding, I want to go with them too. I don't like being separated either." And the thing is, it wasn't really a lie. I never imagined my family would be this way. But now that I was here, it made perfect sense.

I felt my phone buzz and knew what it said without checking. Things were really tricky, when all your closest friends and family were supernatural, including you yourself. So how did normal family conventions fit in? How did you tell your 17 year old, but really, 7 year old daughter to come home because it was getting too late? Oh I know! Text her 23 year old, but really, almost 30 year old boyfriend. I always knew it was going to get complicated with our frozen aging, and here I was living it. At some point, age becomes entirely pointless, and we were getting close. I have the body of a full grown adult even though I just _technically_ left my teenage years behind. She has the mind and body of a 17 year old girl even though she's only been alive _technically_ 7 years. Yeah, we're weird alright.

"I don't know why he does that," she said. "It's like, because I'm me they can't talk to me about something as simple as a curfew. Like I'll be offended." The skin between her eyebrows crinkles in that adorable way her mother's used to when she was human.

"It's because they don't want to smother you, after everything. It's almost like you're a mini adult," I said kissing her hair. "Plus he enjoys irritating me too much," which was also entirely true. It was the most he could do now that we all had an eternity to be with each other. It wasn't like he could order me away; nothing could keep us apart, now that time would stretch out forever.

"I don't think so," she said shaking her head. I smiled and let her think she was right. No point. She could never understand what it was like 6 years ago when we had to figure this mess out. And what a mess it was. I was like a bad penny Edward just couldn't shake. He'd have to settle with tolerating me. Forever. I smiled widely.

"Ok well, let's get going." I said getting up to my feet in one easy motion. She rose just as gracefully. "You wanna race back?" I asked trying to cheer her up. What a silly thought. She half smiled.

"No I think I'll ride. I've learned my lesson." Then she leaned in to kiss me and the entire world seemed to have slowed down to a stop. She pulled away quickly. It was only meant to be a short kiss. We talked about this before. I couldn't get worked up over every kiss. Even though in reality, every kiss made me feel the deepest ache for her, a powerful loving need that no one but an imprinted werewolf could understand. I shook my head a little to clear it then stepped behind a tree to de-clothe. I tied my shorts to my ankle and then sank down, effortlessly letting the heat transform me into a russet brown wolf. I shook out my fur and stepped out to rejoin her, this time on all 4 paws.

She reached out to run her fingers through my fur. No matter how many times I phased around her, she always liked to do that. I licked her face and she recoiled. Then I barked a laugh and started running. An instant later she landed between my shoulder blades. A perfectly timed leap. Just a regular old night. Only a lot more talking, it was slightly odd. But I think I liked it.

As we ran like a shadow through the trees she continued the conversation but switching to easy yes or no questions. She also used her gift again, and was profoundly relieved to do so.

 _Are you worried about leaving your pack behind_? she asked wordlessly. I didn't respond at all because the answer was no and it was true. Seth was at college and Leah moved away a long time ago. We still spoke in wolf form every now and then, but it was becoming less frequent. Quill was spending all his free time with Claire, now 9 and almost out of elementary school. I felt bad for him. Middle school was on the horizon and everyone knew it was a tricky time. Embry still hadn't imprinted himself but he did have a girlfriend. They wouldn't miss me. And it wasn't like La Push would be in danger. Sam's pack was here too.

 _You know Sam's busy with the baby_ , she thought, her mind wandering to Sam as well. _Doesn't that make you alpha-in-charge?_ It was true that Sam was busy as a new father, but there were more than enough able bodied qualified wolves to protect La Push. So I shrugged. I knew she was only asking me these things because she felt guilty. She knew that whatever she decided I would need to go along with. Because I couldn't bare to be away from her for more than a few days at a time. I understood her guilt, and nothing I could say would stop her worrying. It was just part of her. Something definitely _inherited_.

 _I have to admit I am excited we're going. I'm excited about being in a new place for a change._ Now it was my turn to feel guilty. Nothing was keeping her here. She could go anywhere she wanted at any time. Not even the sun could hold her back. But she knew I felt obligated to live with my pack. It was the job I'd been born to do. So she stayed to be with me. _I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way._ She said after a beat of silence on her part. I shrugged again. It was true. I was holding her back. So I was glad I agreed to go. It wasn't for forever. We could always come back. We were kind of silly, really. One big happy family going off to college. If we were normal, it would be seriously weird. And I technically wasn't going to college yet. I was along for the ride, but didn't know what I'd do yet. Money certainly wasn't a problem anymore.

 _I'm excited that you'll have the chance to figure out what you want to do_. She thought, and it was 100% sincere. I could taste it through the thought. She wouldn't have minded if I never wanted to go to school or get a job. If I wanted to be a La Push bum, guarding the tribe and hanging with the pack. And I'd essentially done that for 6 years. But it was true that even though I had my family and the love of my life, something else was missing. I have a purpose; pack alpha and defender of the Quileutes, but I don't have a hobby. She pointed this out to me one lazy night back at Billy's, watching TV on the couch. And she'd made it clear that being in love with her couldn't count. And the thought stuck with me for a while. I like fixing cars but I don't have to be a greasy mechanic when there wasn't a great need to be. When your family had crazy deep pockets, things changed.

So I thought about it, and realized I just need to try new things. It's the only way to learn what I like. I twitched my ear to signal a _yes_ back to her. We were almost there. I could hear the river and the sickly sweet vampire scent was growing stronger in the air. I slowed as I saw the lights of the cottage.

 _Love you, Jake_. She thought and it was the sweetest most genuine thought. She kissed my head and jumped off. I poked her on the back with my nose. She tangled her fingers in my fur again for the briefest moment and then went inside. We didn't need to discuss tomorrow's plans. We already knew. I heard footsteps walking toward me and Edward came out of the house.

"Hey," he said.

 _Hey_ , I thought. _You're going to have to talk to her. She's figured out that you text me to end our dates. She doesn't understand why you guys won't give her a curfew._ He raised an eyebrow at me. _Hey, I didn't tell her! I didn't even check my phone. She just figured it out when the phone buzzed._

"It's strange for me, this new concept of you dating her. And I'm trying to navigate everything I'm supposed to do as her father," he said looking frustrated, but more at himself than me.

 _You knew it was coming._ I thought before I could control myself. That's what I sometimes enjoyed about these conversations. These were thoughts, so it wasn't like I could be blamed for having them.

"Yes you can," he said but smiled anyway.

 _Yeah I still hate this_. I thought, irritated about the mindreading, all these years later. He changed the subject.

"I caught the end of your conversation. It sounds like you're on board with the move," he said.

 _Well, I'm getting there. I want her to be happy._

"That's all you ever want which, trust me, I like as her father. But I just wanted to talk to you to make sure this is really alright with you. If it isn't, Bella and I can figure something else out."

 _Oh man, this makes it even worse. Everyone's going change course for me? I don't think so. Change is good even it isn't immediately welcome._ I thought, hoping I believed it was true. _Do you still want to go?_ I asked him, suddenly wondering if he was just going along with it for them.

"Certainly. Bella and I discussed it before the wedding. I think it's good for her. Moving on with life and doing something new. We waited and waited for retaliation. But you can only do so much of that. I think it's become an unhealthy mindset, waiting for attack." I nodded because I also felt it. The first month after the Volturi left I had to sleep at th _e_ Cullens every night, because I was terrified it wasn't really over. Rosalie particularly loved it.

 _You think you guys will get too cool for me eventually? All of you wearing your matching Dartmouth gear?_ I tried not to think sourly, but somehow it's all I manage.

"Jake, you can go too if you want."

 _You guys give me enough cash as it is_ , I think. But I really don't want to go to that college. It's too high for me, no matter how many vampire tutors I may have. Edward hears all of this, which saves time. I do hate repeating myself.

"You'll find something in New Hampshire to do. You and Nessie will have a lot more freedom than we will." It's true. We aren't limited by daylight. "I'm not worried. Like my daughter said, I'm interested in what you want to do."

 _You're always fishing around up there and know all my thoughts; what do you think my brain wants to do?_ I think, and I'm surprised by how much worry is attached to it.

"Don't you know your own mind?" He asks with a laugh. I turn back toward the woods.

 _Nope._ I think as start to cut back through the trees, running home to La Push. But I don't get far.

"Jake?" I hear and then there's dull thud as she lands close to me on the damp forest floor. This is someone I actually have to speak with to communicate. As much as I appreciate this, it also means I need to phase. I cough a bark and she knows I want her to wait. Five minutes later I'm wearing my ratty shorts again as I walk out to meet her.

"Hey Bells, what's up?" The moonlight falls on Bella's face, making her golden eyes eerily glow and her paper-white face shine.

"I heard you talking with Edward," she says strolling next to me, heading toward La Push. She's considerate. She knows I want to go home, so we keep moving. Just at a much slower rate.

"Yeah, lot's of secret stuff," I say, deadpan. She ignores it, because after all this time she's more than used to it.

"We're going to look at the house this weekend, move our things over," she says with her ringing musical voice. It's getting harder to remember how she used to sound.

"Huh, when I think about you guys I don't imagine you packing or moving around boxes. Won't you just get new stuff?" After I've said it, I realize it's a bit fresh but she seems to be thoughtful about the comment.

"That's true. I'm thinking about certain books of mine. Renesmee's stuff, so I guess not so much." There's a beat of silence. "You don't have much stuff either do you Jake?" And the truth of it is no, I don't. I think it's left over from when I lived wolf without anything possessions for so long. I liked the freedom of it.

"We certainly don't have to worry about clothes," she added lightly. I laugh; there was no truer thing spoken. I was certainly her toughest nut to crack. For a few years, I downright refused to let Alice choose anything for me to wear. Some sort of silly werewolf ego thing, or maybe just me being an ass, but eventually I had let her choose clothes for me, mainly because Ness was in on it. I had to admit she gave it real thought. She picked athletic light clothes for me that looked better than the ratty T's and sweatpants I wore but weren't too fancy either.

Some of the fabric was so stretchy I could just tie a knot with the clothes themselves to my leg if I needed to phase on the fly. And I knew I would want to bring some of it with me, but knowing her, it was already over there.

"Are you guys sure about me living in the house?" I asked, pleased that for the moment, my thoughts were my own. It was supposedly a huge house with plenty of bedrooms. And If I lived there I'd also be with Ness, but I doubted they would let me sleep in her bedroom with her right down the hall. I wondered if that's why they asked me to live with them, so they could police us. But I could be wrong.

"I know you'll want your own space eventually. And it's ok if you want to get your own house or apartment when we get there. I just…" she trailed off and I imagined the things she would say. "I'm not ready to have Renesmee gone all the time with you at your place," she said, predictably Bella.

"Well, she's old enough to go to college Bells, I feel like that's when you get freedom," I said keeping my voice level.

"She is but she isn't. She's 7," she said to me for what felt like the 100th time. But she was wrong. Developmentally she was 17, one year later than when I stopped aging.

"But she's not Bella, and you know that. If you want me to stay in the house and be good I will, but I know her and she's going to get frustrated." There's a few moments of silence as trees pass by, moonlight peeking through every few steps.

"If you're worried about...well, you know, stuff, you don't need to be," I say feeling suddenly very awkward and glad that we're both facing forward.

"I'm actually not really. I'm just sad she won't be around me as much. Other parents have 17 years to make peace with that idea," she says wistfully.

"She's decided to go to college when you are and where you are, it's clear she still wants to be around you." I supply. "I'm not going to take her away from you. I'd just like to be able to alone with her from time to time where our thoughts belong to ourselves." I say. She sighs.

"Yeah, I do admit I enjoy that. Too bad I couldn't have passed that gene on to her. Ok Jake. We'll get another place," she says turning to look at me.

"You don't need to yet," I say. "Give it some time. I know she wants to live in the house for a while." And it's true.

"Thanks Jake," she says before flitting back through the trees, ending the conversation for now. Back in wolf form, I ponder my fast approaching future. Quill's consciousness pops into my head and he's silent for a moment, curious about the direction of my thoughts.

 _You know what they say about eavesdroppers._ I think dryly.

 _So you're living with vampires now?_ He asks but his tone is light, teasing.

 _Yeah, I'll lose my sense of smell in a week._ I say. But he always knew this was the path for me, until Nessie and I got our own place. _You just drop off Claire?_ I think conversationally.

 _Yeah._ He sighs heavily. He's been very wistful lately, sad that Claire was almost a teenager. Only about 3-4 years out.

 _Think of it like this._ I venture. _You went through your wolf changes in like, two days right? She just needs to change into her adult self, and it's also pretty unpleasant._ He catches on.

 _It's just going to take her years to get there._ He thinks quietly.

 _Yeah. Hormones. Something more shocking than any wolf gene._

 _You're telling me_ he thinks, worried about the future. There are flashes of his thoughts and it's my turn to pry a little. He keeps imagining groups of teenage boys.

 _She'll never replace you bro,_ I think. _It's a phase. You're the one for her. She's just too young to realize._

 _She knows I'm a werewolf. And not aging. And I love her._ He thinks, thoughts brimming with emotion.

 _She may know that but she doesn't get it yet. Her brain's not there yet. She'll know when she's 18. Have faith._ I say, and he knows my advice is fair. I'm in the same boat. But it's easier for me. Renesmee's supernatural as well. We share our secrets together. Bond over them. She's also not in school either.

The Cullens ended up holding a mock graduation for her and I. We both took the GED after many years with vampire teachers. Carlisle taught me after I lost my temper with Edward, always telling me I was wrong before I even gave an answer; stupid bloodsucker. Sometimes Ness would join me in Carlisle's "class." It was a process we did together so that I would get my shit together. I never did go back to school. Of course she passed her GED test with a perfect score. Miraculously, I managed to pass too.

Emmett was the commencement speaker, which was ridiculous. Alice designed golden over-the-top graduation robes that she and Ness wrestled me into. For a small vampire, she was fairly strong. Carlisle handed us our diplomas, which Edward made. They looked legit, similar to the IDs he also forged from time to time. In addition to my diploma, I received a second diploma in recognition of dumbassery. Rosalie's work. I remembered how Ness's bell-like laughter echoed off the trees. The best part was our graduation gifts; although mine was too fancy to drive on the reservation.

I ended up being the one to teach Ness how to drive. So far, it was my favorite thing we'd ever done together. Recently, we'd been riding our motorcycles on the reservation, to Edward's dismay. Occasionally Bella would join us, she still enjoyed it. Although we were careful never to ride them when Charlie was visiting. It was incredible how much Charlie had managed to take in stride these past 6 years. Once he realized how fast Ness was growing, he must have figured she'd be a teenager in no time.

One afternoon Ness and I were chilling with Charlie, watching a game and he'd turned to me when Renesmee had left the room and said, "She's why Bella almost died isn't she? It's because she was pregnant?" I blinked and stared at him saying nothing, stunned. He knew I wouldn't confirm or deny anything, but he nodded to himself and continued watching TV. Explaining my relationship with her eventually was the hardest part for him to comprehend. I mean, at one point I did love his daughter, her mother. Even I recognized how the whole thing seemed pretty messed up. I eventually ended up using a werewolf example to help me.

"Have you ever met Emily, Sam's finance?" I asked him the day after the topic had come up. He paused in thought over the lasagna Bella had baked for us.

"Yeah, Sam's very close to her," he said, which was quite an understatement.

"Sometimes my kind gets that way, it's sort of part of the package." I said evasively. There were several moments of chewing and I could almost hear Charlie's gears turning as he thought about what my words could mean.

"Ahh.." he said when Renesmee came into the room with a martyred expression. She didn't really enjoy eating human food. I looked up to see her and smiled, and there must have been enough evidence on my face for him to get the picture. We finished eating and I helped Charlie do the dishes. He laughed suddenly, his face turning almost red.

"What?" I said, bemused.

"I'm just thinking. About Bells. She must have loved that," he choked. I had to hand it to him, he knew his daughter. To this day, he still hadn't learned what she really was though. Which was good; it was best for him to never know.

Quill's impatience for my drifting thoughts caught up to me. _I said when are you leaving?_ He repeated. I must not have heard it.

 _I think next week_. I thought, surprised by the proximity. Quill felt disappointed. He wasn't eager for me to go. _Hey, I'll still visit. And it's not permanent._

 _I guess we still grow up, even if we aren't aging._ He thought wisely. We met up in the woods. He had been running from the East.

 _Yeah_ , I thought as we raced through the trees, eventually parting ways to go to our houses. _I guess so._


	2. Chapter 2: Together (Simon)

Chapter 2- Together- _Simon_

They never tell you how exhausting graduating can be. The wait to get the diploma takes hours. During which you struggle to stay awake let alone pay attention. Mom, Dad, Nora, and Alice's enthusiasm was also wearing. And my cheeks hurt from what felt like 100 smiling pictures and I didn't even have my diploma yet. Leah's enthusiasm was there but like mine, it was slightly under the surface. Abby and Nick were over the top, running up to classmates and screaming, throwing their caps in the air. It was really fun to watch, but my god was this shit emotionally taxing. The concept of high school being over was still way too huge for me to process. I was so grateful and relieved that I had my boyfriend to text during the ceremony. I had to be careful about it, because I knew my family's eyes were glued to me, and they would find this to be in poor taste.

 _Almost there, I think.._.he sends me.

 _Yeah, we've only got 4 more years to go. The first 4 were just a warm up._ I'm pleased we're both smart enough to have our phones set to silent, you could hear a cell phone vibrate in this auditorium right now. Bram doesn't turn around even though I know he wants too. Because his last name is Greenfield, he's several rows in front of me. I'm near the back, in the same row as Abby. She keeps shooting me a grin from the end of our row. I grin back but even I have to admit I'm getting over the excitement of graduating. As exciting as today was, I would be truly relieved when it was finally over.

 _So, you excited for your graduation party?_ He sends me.

 _What do you think?_ I send back. It's not like I'm ungrateful. I appreciate how excited and invested in me my parents are. And I love having Alice home for the weekend. But I wish they could let some things go. They make a big deal out of everything. Especially things normal people made a big deal out of as well. I wish they could be more like Bram and Leah's parents. Calm and perfectly willing to celebrate quietly.

I knew I'd have fun but I also really wished it wasn't tomorrow. I needed a breather, to let my mind catch up with how fast life seemed to be racing. At least Bram helped slow things down. He kept me grounded. Bram was so well adjusted. He'd made peace with graduation ages ago. For him, he was just going through the motions. His mind was occupied with the next step, something mine was desperately avoiding. I appreciated his patience with me though. My emotional take on the experience seemed perfectly normal to him even though he wasn't exactly in the same boat.

 _It won't be much longer. Then we'll get some alone time._ He texted me in that instant. He had a knack for saying exactly what I wanted to hear in the moment I needed to hear it _._ I sighed and felt some of the pressure between my shoulder blades lessen. It really was all I asked for of life. To just get a little more alone time with Bram. There never seemed to be enough. Senior year was crazy busy, and it didn't help that we both had jobs. I also just had the senior play wrap up and Bram and Garrett were co-captains of the soccer team this year. Busy busy busy. But being busy was okay sometimes. It helped the week flyby. And reuniting was always sweeter after time apart.

But my mind was starting to open itself up to worrying beyond the daily grind of high school, especially now that it was finally over; what a concept. No, my mind was basically in a panic. I was undecided about college. It's one of those things everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who's going to college has selected by April at the latest. And I had acceptances. But every morning at the breakfast table when mom and dad grilled me about making a decision I had no answer. It was because in my heart there was no answer. There wasn't anywhere I wanted to go. It was so pitiful how true it was.

"So then go to Georgia," my mom had told me, fed up after one feisty college conversation two weeks ago. And I probably would end up there is what my subconscious had pretty much worked out. Leah and Abby were going, and so it made sense on a social level. Certainly a financial level; even though my parents assured me that I could go anywhere I wanted and they would make it happen. But none of the colleges stood out for me. And it wasn't like I didn't know why. I knew exactly why and there wasn't anything I could do about it even though I knew it about myself. It was because of Bram.

The principal started speaking and I realized how close to actually starting this goddamn graduation was. But I felt the familiar prick of anxiety as I thought about colleges and Bram. It stuck with me, I couldn't push it aside. I looked down and saw another text but this time from Abby.

 _Si, you look down? What's wrong?_ I looked over at her and shook my head. She just frowned in concern at me. I wasn't going to text back. Just like how I wasn't talking to anyone about it either. It was wrong and unhealthy. But I wasn't handling the stress well. The first line of students stood up and turned to exit the aisle to get diplomas. I blinked, trying to get myself back in the present. Then I noticed that Bram turned around to look at me and he wasn't smiling. At that moment I realized Abby must have texted him to alert him to my distress. I groaned internally. I tried to smile at him but somehow it felt brittle. He somewhat knew I was concerned about college, but he had no idea the real level of panic that existed within me. My phone buzzed.

 _It's going to be fine babe. Try and cheer up, I have a graduation gift for you._ Bram sent me. The corner of my mouth turned up. And just like that it was like I had been tossed a lifejacket in this moment.

 _I thought we agreed no presents._ I sent back already feeling the weight lifting from my shoulders. No need to panic tonight. There was still time to decide. To talk. To research. To make a choice. It was going to be fine, as my boyfriend pointed out.

 _This one was non-optional. It had to be arranged._ Huh, that was odd even for Bram. But knowing him, he would withhold further details so I put my phone away and turned to find my parents in the crowd. They certainly didn't miss Bram and I locking eyes which meant they didn't miss the texting either. Sure enough mom was shaking her head at me. I made an apologetic expression and then turned back to face the front of the graduation where kids were getting diplomas and families were cheering and taking frantic photos.

After a few rows Bram's row stood and he turned back to look at me again. Grinning in excitement. I felt my cold heart restart and I smiled back, genuine this time. Bram's happiness easily influenced mine. I stood and cheered when he got his diploma. He smiled and posed for the crazy photo takers then descended gracefully from the stage. Sometimes it was hard to believe he really was my boyfriend. He looked so attractive in the graduation gear, a tie peeking out from underneath. It make my heart flutter. Bram was the only thing I was sure about in my life. And with this thought, the anxiety crept back. He was looking at me when this thought crossed my mind and I think he caught my change in expression because he stopped walking and the graduate behind him almost walked into him. Quickly he apologized, embarrassed, then made his way back to his seat. I knew he was going to send another text. Probably only had time for one more before it was my turn to go up. I waited 10 seconds and then checked. I was right.

 _Simon. Trust me when I say It's going to be fine. I've seen to it._ And the text really puzzles me and I don't have time to text back. My row is standing up. I slip my phone away and I hitch a convincing excited smile on my face for my family and for Bram. Really, I'm still wondering what Bram has seen to. I haven't talked to him about this really. He knows I haven't made a college choice but hasn't pressed me on it, especially when he knows it's all my parents are doing now a days. How can he have fixed this problem? But I make eye contact with him again as I shuffle up to the stage and I can tell something is going on. He's got a Mona Lisa smile on. He knows something I don't. Something that's making him really confident and really happy. And so I feel myself start to really smile right when my name is called. As if in a trance I walk up to receive my diploma and in that moment, I feel renewed hope for my future. I hear my parents and friends screaming for me when I turn and smile. I can't believe high school is over.

About 1000 photos later, I'm finally in my bedroom, digesting the celebratory dinner out with my parents and sisters. I change out of my dress up shirt and pants and put on jeans and my Elliott Smith T shirt. I open the CD drive of my laptop and remove a CD I burned for Bram as my graduation present. Even I broke the rules we both set. I spent the past few days mixing it and I wrote details about each song, explaining what each one meant to me and how it reminded me of Bram. I hoped he would like it. I put the CD in a plain case with the descriptions folded up and tucked inside. Bram was due to arrive any minute. Mom and dad were being strangely cool about Bram visiting. Maybe because they knew I was getting older, who knows. But Bram was allowed to come over until 11 whenever it wasn't a school night. And now, school nights were over. He could even be in my room with me but he was never permitted to spend the whole night.

I tidied my room somewhat to try to siphon off excess energy and steady my racing heart, but when that didn't work I spent a few minutes looking at Leah's Instagram to calm myself. It worked most of the time. There was a knock on my door. Quiet and polite. Only my boyfriend.

"Hey," I called and Bram walked in. He also was wearing casual clothes and had his laptop bag with him.

"Hey," he said and set down his bag on the floor and appraised me. I realized I was sitting on my bed, my arms wrapped around my legs. Not the picture of someone delighted to be graduated from high school. "How are you?" it was a loaded question. He didn't ask it with a normal tone.

"I'm hanging in there…" I said and then for some unknown insane reason, my throat got hot and tight. I coughed, uncomfortable. Bram sat down next to me looking concerned. My boyfriend was so emotionally stable. It was an incredible comfort but at the same time, sometimes it was difficult for him to comprehend my shifts in mood. Sometimes he needed to pry the answer out of me, when I just couldn't explain a feeling well. He didn't enjoy it. It was easier for Leah. She could usually guess pretty quick. She read my expressions like a book. I didn't want this night to dissolve into me worrying aloud instead of just in my head so I tried to push the conversation forward. "So how were your parents at the restaurant?" I asked. Bram was looking into my eyes and I knew my question had just stopped him from saying something else.

"Oh. well, yeah it was a bit awkward. It helped that Caleb screamed through dessert. Really sped up the process." He smiled slightly. Bram's younger brother Caleb was almost 2. His parents were divorced but his dad had another son 17 years later. It was easier making small talk about graduation. And so Bram let me. We chatted about our families and the graduation party. I realized about 15 minutes into this though that Bram was just waiting me out. And eventually Bram did cut back to what he was going to ask.

"Will you tell me what's going on with you?" he asked lying next to me in my bed, his head propped up by one elbow. "And don't tell me nothing because I saw you today, something's wrong." His gaze pierced me, brown eyes concerned and fierce in the same moment. It was like he was looking into my soul, it was difficult to look away. I managed to.

"I…" I start not knowing how to begin.

"You're worried about college." He said shortly, slightly impatient which was out of character for him.

"Well, yes…" I said feeling my throat get hot again, and not knowing what to do about it.

"Because you can't choose any, because none of them inspire you…" he whispers, his voice sounding a lot softer. More patient.

"Yes." I say and it doesn't feel like enough of an answer. I sit up and Bram copies me, out knees touching sitting indian style on my bed. "I can't choose to be away from you," I finally confess and it feels gut wrenching to finally admit this weakness. "I want to have a life of my own. I do. I do have my own life and my own interests. But…" and I think my voice is breaking up. Bram looks sobered and I hear myself going to pieces. "...you are what inspires me. You're the only thing I've ever wanted badly. And I don't care where I go or what I do...it doesn't matter because it's not where you are. And I wish I wasn't such a sap or so cliche. I don't want to be this way but I am. I'm sorry.." I said and my eyes feel watery. My throat's dry. Bram silently takes my hand and threads his fingers through mine. He waits a moment, and I realize he's pausing to let me find composure. I grip his hand and manage to get my breathing back to relatively normal. "I don't want you to change your plans for me Bram." I tell him when my voice is steadier. He shakes his head.

"I know that Si. I understand. I don't want you to be sorry. I've been sad about this too. I don't want us to be apart. I want to stay together." He said and leaned in to kiss my forehead. "Why didn't you say anything to me. I figured it out anyway, but why keep this from me?" he asked in a reasonably concerned tone.

"I was ashamed that I couldn't be more like you. Put together with a plan and goals and early acceptance...everything...And I didn't want you to somehow change your college plans because of me either…" I say lamely, one tear escaping out of the corner of my eye. Bram hugs me and I bury my face in his chest, soaking in his warmth. I feel calmer in his arms. Safer. He pulls away and kisses me softly, and I feel the emotions of today in the kiss. I kiss him, desperately and we end up horizontal on my bed. Bram pulls away and rests his forehead on mine.

"If you could have anything for graduation, what would it be?" he whispers to me, eyes still shut. I close my eyes and sigh.

"For us to stay together, even though it sounds totally immature and teenager-y of me to say." I moan. "But yeah, if I have to go off to stressful college I don't want it to be without you." And then Bram pulls away from me, and I blink and sit up, surprised. Bram has moved over to his laptop bag. I sniff and wipe my face and sit Indian style again feeling vulnerable and pretty miserable, let's be honest. Before only I knew how lame this all was and now Bram knows it too. Bram moves back over to me looking oddly formal all of a sudden. He has an envelope. I blink, curiously but bite my tongue, knowing Bram will explain. He's not secretive or mysterious….normally.

"Here Simon. Happy Graduation," he says giving me the envelope. I stare at him, still thrown off by the abruptness of this moment.

"You shouldn't have gotten me anything." I mumble, staring at him not the envelope.

"It's for us really,'' he says, and the hint of a smile is on the edge of his lips. Again, he knows something good. And I think I'm holding the answer. I examine it and I notice that the envelope is addressed to me and it has my address on it. It's thick, like it's made of cardstock. I make my trembling fingers open in and a bunch of odd paperwork spills out. I can't make sense of it. Bram picks up a crisp while sheet of folded paper on the top and opens it up for me before handing it over. I only see one word really on the page at the top in fancy letters. _Dartmouth._ I don't understand.

"Are you showing me your acceptance letter?" I ask blankly. Bram is looking at me with an excited expression that quickly fades.

"No Simon, I'm showing you yours," he says. I just stare, bemused.

"I don't have one, I never applied to Dartmouth,"I said confused. But then it was my name on this envelope. I pick up the ripped envelope again and look at it. It's not a letter Bram put together. It doesn't have his handwriting on it and it's been officially stamped, like it actually came in the mail. _Did it?_ I snap my gaze back up to Bram and he actually looks a little nervous now.

"What…?" is all I manage. He sighs and then the words start tumbling out of his mouth.

"I knew you were upset about college. I talked to Leah a few months ago and she told me how down you were about it. I didn't know what to do about it because I was already accepted to Dartmouth and you didn't seem to care about any of your colleges. So Leah told me that you obviously needed to go to school with me, seeing as you didn't really know what you wanted to do anyway. Great school. Good theater program," He stops for a moment and stares at me. I can only stare back.

"But obviously it was tricky applying to a college for you. I really needed her help. She filled out the forms will personal information and proofread your essay," he says. I find my voice.

"My essay? On what?" I said having no idea what he's talking about.

"You wrote about how you overcame the odds against us in high school. About the emails, the blackmail, the bullying, and finally finding the confidence to tell the people in your life that you're gay and having the courage to meet me at the fair." he says as he draws a single sheet of white paper from his laptop bag and hands it to me. I look at it and realize it's a copy of the essay. I start to read it and feel my eyes tear up again.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I knew it was a stretch, applying to Dartmouth without asking you. Writing this essay for you. You obviously don't need to go. We can put it aside and pretend it never happened if you want." He says his voice becoming more distressed.

"Shh." I say and he falls silent. I take a moment to arrange my words. "No one has ever done anything like this for me before. I can't even believe it. How can this be real?" I ask looking at him in wonder. "What did you have to do to convince Dartmouth to take me? And this late!?" I demand, feeling a rising excitement in my chest. Relief floods Bram's face.

"Well, all I did was fill out your theatre background and put your GPA, and then write an essay about our story. Apparently, that was all they needed. Maybe it's a gay inclusion thing, who knows?" He smiling softly now; triumphant. "So what do you think?" His eyes sparkle with excitement.

"Well….I know tomorrow's going to be crazy, convincing my parents that I applied to Dartmouth...and got in. I mean Ivy League! Who's going to buy this?" I shake my head, dazed.

"I do." says Bram solemnly. "You amaze me," he says simply, and I feel overwhelmed by the sincerity and heat of those words. I throw myself in his arms and we resume kissing, the paperwork flying up and everywhere, settling into messy piles around us. Eventually he pulls away. "We can't crumple this," he says laughing. We pull apart and gather it all up.

"We've got to read this, see if I have financial aid or whatever is in here," I say holding up a pile.

"So let's get to it," he says taking out his laptop like he's getting ready to do homework, which technically we are, and I can't help but love him even more. "But let me text Leah first," he adds casually, like him and Leah are close buds now. _Maybe they are_ I think, feeling happiness at the thought. "I assume you want to go?" he adds in, a mischievous grin lighting his face. And suddenly, I feel a rush of peace that follows a solution to a problem. The burden is lifted away. I have the hope of attending an amazing college with my boyfriend. No separation. Simply starting again at a new place. _Together._ I smile and feel buoyant. Excited finally about graduation and the prospect of college.

"Yes.." I breathe. "Yes, yes, yes."


	3. Chapter 3: Friends (Bella)

_Chapter 3- Friends- Bella_

"Mom?" she asked me, and I sighed.

"Ness, you're slipping," I said and she rolls her eyes, the picture of her father.

"I know but it's weird," she complained from the passenger seat. I took a left, following a map I memorized from the internet to get to the right parking lot.

"Not necessarily, I often call grandpa Charlie," I disagreed.

"But that's not normal, and I hear you call him dad all the time," she countered. I sighed again.

"Humor me," I said and stopped at a light. The Volvo blends in well here. It still was so strange how less dense these forests were. They were all so sparse. No dripping vines from trees. No deep rich evergreens. But I guessed a person who's only lived in Phoenix, Arizona or Forks, Washington would be shocked by an average forest.

"Bella?" she asked, even I thought it sounded strange, not that I would admit it now.

"Yes?" I asked with perfect patience.

"Before da… Edward and Jake, who were your friends?" she asked me. And I have to admit, I didn't see this question coming; very strange.

"What?" I said looking away from to road into her chocolate, my chocolate eyes. "That is so random." I protested.

"Well?" she pressed.

"Ok, well, I presume Alice also doesn't count?" I verified. She only nodded and I caught the reflection off the windshield. "I'd say Mike, Jess, Angela, Ben, and Eric," I said feeling dumbstruck to have thought about Mike after all these years.

"So no one from Phoenix?" She prodded. Where was she going with this?

"Grandma Renee was my best friend back then," I said. It was a hard conversation, surprisingly. A year after I revealed myself to Charlie he convinced me I needed to do the same for Renee. That it was selfish for me to worry her for so long. And he was right. When we finally did get her to Forks she freaked out at the sight of me. The worst part was how afraid of me she was. It was very difficult to witness. We still talked occasionally, but I knew that I was her mutant daughter now...that she still feared. And we had lost our special bond. Edward, Jake, or even Alice could never understand how big a loss to me it was; for her to think of me differently forever. Foreign. Dangerous. I didn't know if it was better than avoiding her. Or pretending to be dead. Unlike Charlie, she hadn't wanted to be left in the dark. She demanded answers, and got furious when no one would elaborate on anything for her. Including me. I tried to tell her I was protecting her, but she didn't believe me. After that it was solidified for me that I should never reveal myself to anyone else from my old life. Sue, Billy, and the wolves were all in the know, but they had their own secrets to keep. Nessie sensed that the silence in the car was tense, because she stopped asking about Phoenix, switching back to asking about Forks.

"So, a few good friends from Forks High School, then?" she said. I tried to reason for myself what could possibly be her reason for asking.

"And then you know by now that Jake and I were the closest; true best friends." I said and nothing truer was spoken. I still loved him; even though he was often a bum, and smelled like wet dog. And was seeing my _daughter_. That was still hard to let go.

"And then daddy," she supplied. I casted her a look and she remembered her mistake. It was essential that she fix this, and she knew it. "Edward," she amended. She needed to call us by our first names now if we were going to be in classes and on campus together. We all looked exactly the same age; college ready teenagers, or maybe even years younger than 18. But yet, our daughter was still our daughter, regardless of our frozen aging. To me, she was even still 7 years old, but I knew Jake was right. She was my 17 year old teenager. How interesting. When I was a human teenager, mom always said I was like her middle aged child; that I had never been a teenager in mind. It looked like my daughter was similar, in a way. If I did sleep, I knew I would have lost sleep worrying about how things were now, the complication of all us looking and appearing the same age even though we really aren't, years ago. The worry tired me but only in my mind. I hadn't slept in almost 7 years now. An endless day.

"Could you explain why you're asking?" I probed, not confident she would answer me. As close as we were, she was still a teenager, and I certainly kept many things from Charlie in the past. There was a pause.

"I'm really glad we're here," she said in a quiet voice. I didn't say anything, because I knew more would follow. "I'm excited for classes. For being in a new place." she said. I waited, sure I was about to learn why she had asked me about my past life. We reached the parking lot and I turned the car off. We got out simultaneously and retrieved our laptop bags. We also got out our coffee mug props. Of course nothing was inside them, but they helped us blend in. We started off to the first building. I double checked online last night. We both had the same class at 6 pm in this building. Ness had already gotten a head start. She could take morning classes, unlike me. My skin meant I'd soon be bored and trapped indoors day after day. The lack of constantly overcast skies like Forks, Washington meant we needed to shut ourselves away to keep from being noticed. Our vampire skin glinted like diamonds in direct sunlight. At least Edward was trapped in the house with me. When Ness was gone, Jake was off exploring on his own. So we were alone, and _that_ could never be considered boring at all….Time passed, but each day with Edward was like the beginning. I was still just as taken with him. Just as awestruck by his smile. And certainly by the rest of him as well.

"I'm not just here for my education though," she said and I stopped to look at her expression. It was closed off which also was very strange for her.

"Why else?" I asked simply.

"I want to have...friends outside the family and the pack," she said in a quiet voice my vampire ears had no trouble with, but others may have.

"Really?" I said, not expecting this at all.

"Yeah," she said. "We're always together, and I love you all, but all of us, you guys included, should have more people in our lives. Even if they are just humans. No matter how slow they are. I think we could be happier with more people in our lives. I mean, technically...Edward did that once, with you." I pondered that, pleased that she called her father Edward also.

"It's sort of...dangerous," I said slowly. It certainly was when I was human. But I'd never trade my choices. I had the perfect...existence. Other than what happened with mom. But now, I also had to cope with the old sadness of having to let go of Angela and Ben too. Would Ness make a friend, and then have to let he/she go, because of our lives? What if...her friends started to notice how different we were? I already knew what we would have to do, even if she didn't realize it yet. We would disappear if we had to. I tried to push the thought aside.

"But we're here. We're putting ourselves out there. People will notice us no matter what. Just because other humans know us it doesn't mean they would know the details; know what we are." I started walking again. As her mother, it made sense that I would want this for her. I wanted her life to be full and happy. I didn't want her to miss anything. But she had already. She never had the true high school experience. She didn't have outside friends. She had no one.

"You're right. It could be hard, but we could try to talk to some of our classmates; if they aren't totally freaked out by us," I said, and hoped for the best.

"I already started," she said and smiled to herself. " I met some people in class this morning. Maybe they will be in this one too, who knows?" She looked happy finally. I smiled.

"Will I like them?" I asked.

"I hope so, I like the theatre kids. I cannot believe you agreed to this. It's so unlike you," she said in wonder.

"That was Alice's point," I grumbled.

When Edward and I pondered what we would study in college, I figured out that I would have studied english in some capacity had I gone as a human. I'd probably focus on Shakespeare or the process of writing plays. I realized that I could do that; maybe write plays myself. The idea really stuck with me. I could write, shut away on my own. I wouldn't have to commute to a job the way my father-in-law Carlisle did at the hospital back in Forks. He loved it, but I didn't think I would have wanted a job among humans. I was a loner. Edward praised the idea, but my sister-in-law Alice didn't think one major was enough, considering I had the power of a vampire mind. She said the Cullens had always double-majored in school. I told her I had no idea what would be my second major.

We talked about subjects of study with Ness too. She loved plays as well, but oddly, she actually wanted to be in them, not writing them. I couldn't believe she wanted to study...acting. It involved being out there and drawing attention. But of course she could; she was a star… my brilliant charismatic daughter. Edward had smiled and nodded. It was decided; she was going to study theatre. And for another subject, she decided to study music as well. The two went together, certainly. She was her father's daughter in terms of musical ability. She could flawlessly read music and already was composing her own music on piano the way her father did. He taught her at a young age. And I supposed I taught her to appreciate Shakespeare; because she dreamt of pursuing theatre. If she studied music, she said she would focus on composing, as a second career. I could really see it. She could write scores for movies.

Alice pointed out to me that I had always been a horrible actress, and that being a Cullen meant that lying and acting were essential for avoiding detection. I thought that was a pretty silly argument; that I should study theatre to get better at lying? It became a sort of joke. Edward supported me always, but he did point out to me that if Ness didn't mind, it would be fun for us to take classes together. She was thrilled by the idea. I grouched about it, but eventually went along, glaring daggers at Alice, who skipped away with a mischievous smile. She was frequently conniving; something I knew back when I was still human.

Edward already studied music and really didn't want to study english or theatre. He was more of a scientist he claimed. After some time, he decided to study microbiology with a focus in immunology; the nerd. He also decided to study biomedical engineering at a separate school from us within Dartmouth called the Thayer School of Engineering. It was sort of part of Dartmouth College overall. I learned one night that Edward had wanted to do this for some time. Even before we met. He was very excited and Carlisle was pleased at the prospect of his son designing equipment he could use in the hospital.

Alice and her husband Jasper decided they weren't coming with us. I was disappointed at first, but she didn't want to go back to college just yet. Jasper had also just finished a new degree in philosophy, and wanted to take a break. They were travelling for now, like my other two siblings-in-law, Emmett and Rosalie. They were also married, and they were in Africa presently. Emmett wanted to try hunting safari game, he was sort of a nut, and Rosalie wanted to do volunteer work involving underprivileged kids. I didn't know where Alice and Jasper were now, but a month ago they were in China. I wasn't sure what they were up to precisely. Maybe they were just on another extended honeymoon.

We planned to reunite in New Hampshire for Christmas. We assumed that by that point, Ness would have plays and recitals that no one wanted to miss. My mother-in-law Esme insisted that the first time we attended college was the most important. After that it was just our job, to maintain our anonymity. After a few decades, we would attend high school again, Ness included. I wondered if she would look forward to it. My daughter was no longer aging either, something I was profoundly relieved at. How many people had ever attended college before high school? Probably none.

We arrived at our first class, Theatre 101, in a lecture hall; it was the absolute basics. Ness was excited and I was so-so. I really didn't love the idea of theatre for myself. I'd be taking my english classes on my own. I wondered what that would be like.

We selected seats in the middle of the room closer to the back. I enjoyed how alike we were. I never liked to sit in the front seats in high school. We opened our expensive laptops and settled into chairs. As a vampire and a half human half vampire, we didn't require rest like humans. I could have stood perfectly still for hours, days even, and never tired. Renesmee was similar, but still needed a little rest. She also slept. She was strong and could run fast but she was the slowest among us. Something Jake especially loved to taunt her about. I also wasn't the newborn superstar anymore. Eventually, I lost my super strength, something Emmett was thrilled about. He was finally winning arm wrestling battles again. I avoided him more now. I did maintain my super self control and my shield abilities. The self control allowed me to mix among humans so soon after my transformation. It took other vampires decades of practicing self control to act as I did.

Even with all of this, we still pretended to be human to blend in. Sitting in a chair, slouching, going to the bathroom, and getting food props were all part of this. Renesmee actually did use the restroom and she could eat human food. She didn't prefer to, but she agreed to eat human food more frequently in college. I tried to put a fun spin on it for her, challenging her to find a food she could really enjoy.

The other students filed in and spread themselves out in the room, many also choosing not to sit in the front. At first we weren't noticed but after a few minutes people started staring. It was because we were model-worthy gorgeous. Another perk of being a vampire. Although now it really wasn't a good thing, because it made us stand out. Renesmee blended in more than I did but she still radiated beauty. It turned out that being part human, having my genes, actually added to her beauty instead of detracting from it. She blushed like I used to and had my chocolate brown eyes from my life as a human, copied exactly onto her face. She even had Charlie's curly hair that bounced in ringlets. She didn't have his color though; her hair was bronze like Edward's. She cut it to be midlength, not quite reaching her shoulders, before we left for college. It would grow back pretty quickly. My hair didn't grow anymore. I kept it the same length I did in high school. It was really strong. It would never change as long as I didn't cut it. I know Alice wished she had longer hair before she was changed. She had no memory of her human life, and her hair had been short and spiky as a human, so it remained that way now.

When the teacher came in, the students finally stopped glancing furtively at us and faced the front. I had my chance to stare at them in turn. My vampire mind had a lot of space for thought. I could pay attention to the lecture perfectly, memorizing everything and people watch at the same time. I noted how addicted to their phones everyone was. People also weren't taking many notes. I pretended to every few minutes in case anyone watched me. I just picked out single words from the lecture, typing them into a google document. Edward spent an afternoon showing us all the google tools and software and a bunch of other things I never thought I would use. Renesmee typed full notes; something I would have done if I didn't have a perfect vampire memory. When I was in high school I took school very seriously. Renesmee's memory was still better than a human's; she learned exceptionally fast. She probably wouldn't need to revisit these notes more than one time to have it memorized. I typed a little more so my notes looked similar to hers, pressing the keys slowly, matching my pace to hers. She glanced at me, and I wondered if she liked my adjustments or if it irritated her. I'd ask her later.

The professor handed out a play to us, students passed piles back until it reached us. The play was Hamlet, something very basic which fit the class well. I'd already read it in high school, but I liked it. I didn't think Renesmee had read it yet. Edward taught her Romeo and Juliet in her lessons; something he knew was a favorite of mine. He asked us in a cheery voice to partner in threes and take turns reading aloud, each of us assuming a different character. He asked us to take notes on the emotions we thought we should be incorporating into the lines. He assured us it was all in practice, and we would discuss our thoughts as a group before the end of the hour. I glanced at Ness. She interpreted my glance exactly. I wanted to know if she wanted us to split up.

"Let's go ask someone to join us," she said. I nodded and followed her to the right down the aisle. There were a couple people around us but it looked like many had paired up already. After craning her neck for a moment, it looked like Ness spotted someone from a previous class. She waved shyly and the student saw her. He raised a hand and it looked like he hadn't chosen partners yet. I followed her over to him, curiosity spiking. Was this her new potential friend? And what was it she liked about him? "Can we join you?" she asked shyly.

"Yeah, certainly," he said. We settled in seats next to him, clutching our plays. Ness smiled at him and it was clear he remembered who she was too.

"Bella," she said, nailing it. "This is Simon, he's in my improv class." I decided not to shake his hand; mine was icy cold.

"Nice to meet you," I said, making eye contact. He wore glasses and had grey eyes and blonde hair that was long enough to obscure them slightly. He brushed it aside and met my eye contact. He didn't start at my golden eyes the way some people did.

"Simon this is my friend Bella from home. We were in high school together," she said. She was so smooth. Just like her father. _She_ didn't need lessons to be good at lying.

"It's nice to meet you too," he answered me and I already knew why Ness liked him. He reminded me of Ben and also Seth Clearwater. A little shy but very nice. I could tell he was someone Ness would get along with. He also wasn't like Jacob. Jake was confident and teasing, and I knew this boy was shy from his tone and demeanor. He also wasn't sarcastic; something Jake especially liked. There was something else there that took me a few moments to work out. He wasn't really afraid of us, or dumbstruck by our staggering beauty. He looked a little nervous, but he wasn't drooling over us the way a few students were. Interesting.

When I first met the Cullens I was really taken with them, but I was also perceptively not afraid of them either. And then Edward and I fell in love; because I liked being close to him, when other students kept their distance. I should have too if I had any instincts for self preservation at all; vampires were dangerous. But Edward always insisted I was a magnet for danger. There was more than enough evidence to support this. This boy Simon did not seem to sense the danger, but Ness didn't give off that vibe. In the year after her birth, I worked out that she seemed more human than vampire. She had gifts of course, but she was the farthest thing from dangerous. She invited people in. They were taken with her immediately. The same was true now. She balanced me out actually. Whatever danger I inspired, she must have equally negated it with her charisma.

We read the scenes quietly. I was surprised and enjoyed the instant confidence Renesmee had. She wasn't reluctant. She inherited that from Edward, he was a genius, good at everything he did. When I was human, I was more like Simon, hesitant and self-conscious. I guess it still lingered in me a bit. In the space of ten minutes though, it was clear Simon knew what he was doing. It was obvious he was in plays in high school; comfortable with the script. I thought my reading was average. We paused every five minutes to chat about the emotions we should write about. Ness and Simon were a bit more talkative than I was. Good. I wanted her to get the most out of this. I let them steer the conversation and typed bits of what they said. I shared the notes with them after finding out Simon's email. Google was pretty handy. We were stopped after about 20 minutes and we turned our attention back to the teacher, but stayed in our new seats. I sensed that tomorrow, we'd sit here again. I thought Simon seemed to like Ness, but again, not like a boy after a pretty girl. I think he liked her ideas, and her personality. Another good thing. Who knew it was this easy to get to know the humans? For one moment, I wondered what Edward would say about his mind.

There was a ten minute group discussion at the end of class, but the three of us did not contribute. I thought that in time, Ness would probably speak out and suggest ideas. I doubted if I would though. I never did before unless I was prompted to. We were asked to read all of Hamlet tonight, and take more notes about possible emotions the characters should convey in a performance of the play. I didn't admit it easily to myself, but I liked the theater class. No one needed to know. Not Alice anyway. But I sighed, she might have seen a vision of us in class already. She was attuned to us as her family and often saw our futures unless it involved Jake or the wolves. She couldn't see their futures at all. She had a bit of trouble with Ness as well, because she was a human vampire mix. We stood after being dismissed and bid Simon farewell.

"See you tomorrow," he said cheerfully, and we walked out. We didn't have another class tonight. I had two classes tomorrow on Tuesdays and also on Thursdays. We had theatre lab on Wednesdays for two hours. I had an English class before the lab. My classes all had to be night classes. It was difficult. It would take Edward and I more time to graduate that Ness. She could take classes all day. We didn't mind though. More time for Edward and I to be alone during the day. A great balance of my interests.

The four of us, Jake included, would go hunting tonight. It would be the second time since our arrival in New Hampshire. The New Hampshire game was different. A lot of deer. There were next to no mountain lions around. Jake and Ness didn't hunt them anyway. I decided I would start cooking more meals for Jake and Ness though. Jake did enjoy human food more. Ness was getting more used to it, slowly.

I imagined that at some point we'd get lunch or dinner with Simon. Friends did that. I wondered where he was from. I'd ask tomorrow. There was a hint of a Southern accent. I smiled. Already Ness was getting me on board with the idea of friends.

"What do you feel like doing?" I asked Renesmee.

"Maybe catch up with Jake and then read Hamlet of course. Have you read it already?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'll probably glance it again. Edward probably knows the whole thing word by word," I predicted.

"Maybe we should watch it this weekend," she suggested. There were Hamlet movies out there.

"Sure, if you like," I said easily. Ness actually enjoyed TV a little bit. She liked dramas. Cop procedurals, sci-fi, and action/adventure. It was clear that drama was her passion; especially now in college studying theater. I wasn't into the shows as much, but I did watch the episodes with her when she wanted. I liked talking about her interests with her. Maybe she would eventually get me hooked on it, who knew? "So Simon seems nice," I added.

"Yes, he is. When we met this morning, we seemed to click," she said getting in the car when I unlocked it. "I think we should sit next to him tomorrow," she suggested.

"Yeah," I said, picking up from her tone that she already was enjoying life in college. Good. I wanted her to experience everything; just like what Edward had wanted for me.

Pleased, I started driving us home, and I wondered how Edward's first class was tonight.


	4. Chapter 4: Normal (Bram)

_Chapter 4- Normal- Bram_

So when did normal get to be so great? For the longest time, my normal was so much harder. When I was in high school it felt like I was navigating landmines; constantly trying to pretend to be straight with the soccer guys, feeling a rush of adrenaline each time I picked up my phone, hoping I had a message from Jacques. In high school, it's like everybody is strained about something. And everyone is fixated on each other. Normal was just getting through another day. Now, it's like someone opened the door, and life is so much different now. I feel so incredibly relaxed even though the work is a lot harder. My relaxation stems from being openly gay with Simon at college. I don't need to worry about having to explain myself to anyone. I love the challenge in my bio classes, and I've felt overall more bouyant. Like I've been given a new lease on life. Simon has also been transformed, and even though he misses his friends, he's coping. Maybe some of it is the joy of being able to see Simon at any hour of the day. To sleep over 5 days in a row if we want to in each others' dorm rooms. To be as affectionate as we want and not have to hide anything. That alone has given me so much peace. For the longest time, I've wanted to love Simon in the open the way I love him in my mind. Sure, by the end of high school we were more open, but we contained ourselves. We kept ourselves in check constantly. It was tough and stifling. Now Simon and I walk hand in hand everywhere. We kiss in the green. And we curl up on couches in the library. Life at Dartmouth just works.

Looking back on the first three months of school, I've really come a long way. It certainly didn't start easy. And in terms of normal, even my "new normal", it was barely that as well. It really began in my first class. It was a basic Biology 101 level class for all life science majors. I was glad I took AP Bio in high school, I wanted to be able to keep up easily and spend more time on my Gen Chem class. I took a seat in the second row and gazed around to see how many others were in the class. It was a fairly small lecture hall, only about 30 students. Almost all my classmates were firing up laptops or gazing at their phones. Most of the students were guys, and they were pretty spread out from each other. A cute dark haired boy in glasses was sitting at the end of my row. He looked like Harry Potter. A boy with short curly hair and a bored expression sat on the far right of the room. In front of me, two guys that new each other were laughing and watching a clip on youtube. I turned all the way in my seat and froze. What I was seeing made no sense to me at all, because it could not be real.

No one looked that good. A blonde boy with red tinted hair was doodling on a piece of paper, and he was just... a god, there was no other word for it. His skin was pale and his features were sculpted and flawless. My mouth went dry and all I could do was blink. His beauty was confounding. The professor came in, so I turned my attention back to him but I was frazzled. It was just so peculiar. So beyond anything I was prepared for. I was certain I'd meet hot guys at Dartmouth, but that fact would never change anything about Simon and I. And it still remained true. But this guy was otherworldly, and it bothered me. I couldn't explain why it did, but I was unsettled. I took in about half of what the professor said and tried to write some notes but I was still preoccupied. I didn't turn around again after that first look, but I felt a burning desire to turn around again. By the end of class, I couldn't help myself, and I did again. Just to check that I wasn't crazy. He was still there sliding his papers into a leather backpack. He didn't even look up. I wondered how Simon would react to him. Would he also be confused and perhaps alarmed by his beauty? I wished I could take a picture to show Simon, but of course I wouldn't. When he raised his head to look up I turned back around so fast that I knocked my iced coffee over and it drenched my notebook. Ugh. Mortified, I got up and I asked the professor if there were any paper towels in the room and he handed me a roll. I jogged back up the stairs to my seat and almost ran into the guy. I looked up and met his confused gaze. His eyes were like a golden honey and it took my breath away just looking into his face. I had no idea what I was going to say.

"Do you need some help?" he asked. His voice was smooth and rich. It was also beautiful, just like everything else about him. I even smelled something like a rich perfume scent coming off of him.

"Thanks, I'm good," I managed because it was difficult for me to talk to cute guys. I turned to my mess, grateful I could look away from his face. It was like I was being mesmerized.

Dazed I made my clumsy puppet hands tear off paper towels to soak up the mess.

"Were these your notes?" came the musical voice again and I turned to see the guy looking at my drowned notebook. I stared again and then remembered I was supposed to answer.

"Umm...yes, they were," I said and turned back to the mess. I felt like I needed a slap to the face to clear my head.

"Well, I doubt you could use these, would you like a copy of mine?" he asked politely. At this point, the only people left in the room were me, this guy, and the professor. I glanced at him again and something about the way he was looking at me, the strange golden eyes, and his welcoming tone made me blurt my answer.

"Sure, that would be great." I said.

"I wrote my notes, why don't we make a copy at the library." He said, then reached down and picked up half the sopping wet towels. I picked up my half and we threw them out in the waste bin while walking out of the room. Walking next to him out of the science building and into the early twilight was odd. Odd because he didn't seem to be making any noise at all as he walked. It was like he drifted next to me. His movements were so lithe as well. Like it was a dance more than a casual stroll.

"Do you know where the library is?" I asked, to kill the awkward silence as we walked.

"Yes, it's over here," He said leading the way. At the library he deftly made copies of the notes and passed me a freshly printed stack.

"Thanks," I said embarrassed. I wasn't exactly sure what to say or do next. I was getting hungry. Simon was likely wondering where I was. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I groaned. My companion raised his eyebrow looking fascinated.

"Oh it's nothing, I'm late for dinner," I said. I felt strange. Announcing my plans after he did this nice thing for me and not offering to invite him. I took a chance and decided to ask.

"If you want you can join me, I really appreciate the notes," I said.

"I'm late as well, but maybe next time.." he said and he paused, clearly hoping to hear my name.

"Bram," I said reaching my hand out to shake his. At that moment he dropped his backpack.

"Whoops," he said reaching down to pick it up instead of shaking my hand. "I'm Edward," he said, putting his bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you in class tomorrow Bram, nice to meet you." He said and turned to go. Before he did, the strangest look crossed his face. It was almost like something frustrated him. But I could have easily imagined it.

The next day Edward sat next to me. As nice a gesture as this was, it made concentrating in class a lot more challenging. I was almost grateful when class ended and I could get away from him. Then I could finally breathe easy again. Simon was busy at a late theatre lab on Tuesdays, so I decided to have a late night run to learn some of the streets of Hanover.

It felt great to be active again. I sorely missed the soccer field, and how freeing it was to fly down the field with my teammates. I found myself running faster and faster and forced myself to slow down. After a few minutes I came across Hanover's high school and spotted a big open field behind the school. It made me ache for my high school's field at home. I wondered how Nick was doing in New York. I stopped when I saw someone running around the field, using the remaining daylight. I heard a buzz in my ear and swatted a mosquito away as I moved closer. The late summer night smelled rich in the humid evening air. I smiled when I spotted a soccer ball on the ground.

I made to move toward it when I noticed the person who was playing with it had stopped and was staring. It was a young guy roughly around my age with really dark hair and tan skin. He was wearing workout clothes and seemed a bit hot from playing.

"Hey sorry to interrupt you, I just saw you playing soccer and I couldn't help but stop. I used to play for years in high school," I said.

"S'ok, I never played in high school but I really enjoy it now. Are you local?" He picked up the ball and tucked it under his arm.

"Sort of. I go to the college but I'm from Georgia," I answered.

"No southern accent though," he said smiling. He had a really white smile and shaggy hair. He was pretty attractive. Athletic and easy going enough.

"Are you local?" I asked.

"I'm new to the area. I've only been here for a few weeks. Originally I'm from Washington State."

"Wow that's really far. Anyways, I won't take up too much of your time I just wanted to check out the soccer." I said starting to turn away.

"Want to have a scrimmage? I don't really mind. I enjoy the competition," he said.

I didn't exactly have the right clothes for it but I really couldn't help myself. I liked competition as well.

"Sure," I said entering the field. I looked around and spotted a net under the shade of an oak tree. The grass was about medium height. Not exactly ideal for soccer but still not bad. He started dribbling the ball and it became immediately apparent to me that he was athletic. He didn't seem to be a soccer expert, but he made the movements look really easy. He passed the ball to me playfully and I had 5 minutes to show off my skills. It felt great having a ball after a few weeks of hiatus from soccer. I passed it back to him and somehow, even though neither of us said it, the game started.

He raced for the goal and I felt myself automatically race after him. He was fast. Quicker than I expected. And it was so much more than that. I was panting as I tried to catch up but he seemed to move with ease. I really underestimated his athletic ability. He easily got the first goal. When we resumed play again I managed to get the ball from him but I had this nagging feeling that he let me. I thought he wasn't an exceptional soccer player but his athletic skills so far outmatched my own, that it made up for it. The game was vigorous and getting increasingly rough. He eventually beat me to 10 with me finishing with 8. Not bad considering I was slightly out of practice.

We plopped down in the grass afterward both breathing pretty hard. Although again, I had this slightly strange feeling that he was not as out of breath as he sounded.

"What's your name?" He asked in a husky voice. I was thrown for a minute by how attractive it sounded.

"Bram, what's yours?"

"Jake. That was a pretty good game, Bram. Glad you walked by." I smiled. This Jake seemed extremely laid-back. He played a game of soccer with a stranger and seemed nice enough.

"I was waiting for a friend of mine but he's taking too long," he said and there was a note of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh? Is he is good as you?" I asked sitting up and getting ready to get to my feet.

"He thinks so" he said and he raised his voice slightly which was odd until I heard a chuckle not far behind us. I turned around quickly and saw with a surprise, that it was Edward. I looked back at Jake and realized that he must have known he was there otherwise he wouldn't have raised his voice. But like usual, I didn't hear Edward at all. Huh.

"Sorry I'm late but it looks like you had a game anyway. Hey Bram," he added casually. "Didn't expect to see you here." And I noticed that Jake gave him a funny look, like what he said took him by surprise somehow. Again I felt like my imagination was running wild. I got to my feet and so did Jake. We walked over to where Edward was. He was dressed in athletic gear, still looking exceptionally good-looking. He could be a model for Nike.

"Well you snooze you lose, I'm done for the night," said Jake reaching down and picked up a backpack I didn't notice at first and put the soccer ball in it.

"I'm surprised you tired so quickly," he said, and I noted the sarcasm. Jake frowned at him but let it go, swinging the backpack onto his shoulders and jumping over the short wooden fence. I followed suit and the three of us started walking back toward the college.

"What kept you?" He asked conversationally.

"Some unexpected things came up," he answered evasively. And again Jacob had a strange reaction. He looked concerned for moment and then Edward shook his head. An odd exchange.

"So do you go to the college too?" I asked Jacob.

" Nope I'm a civilian," he answered.

"How do you guys know each other?" I asked and they shared a brief look.

"We're both from Washington and right now we're roommates," supplied Edward. Wow. Incredible that I managed to stumble into Edward's roommate two days after meeting him.

When we were back at the college Jake and Edward turned to walk down a street leading away from it.

"See you tomorrow Bram," said Edward in a pleasant tone.

"Good game," said Jake. "Catch you later?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think I'd love a rematch" I responded. Jake nodded and they disappeared into the night. I walked back to my dorm room, thoughtfully. It was odd, the two of them. Jake with his unerring athletic prowess and Edward with his incredible good looks. It seemed too good to be true.

Over the next month I got to know both of them more. Although Jake wasn't a student, he popped up on campus a lot to see Edward. They often included me when walking from building to building. Eventually we started hanging out at a campus coffee shop even though I noticed neither of them drank coffee. We chatted about classes and everyday stuff. They never seemed to talk too much about themselves though. In the evenings I would play a competitive game of soccer with Jake. I occasionally worked in the library with Edward on biology stuff. It was nice to find friends outside of my relationship. It made my life more balanced.

After meeting them, the next week was certainly more interesting. Simon had befriended two girls named Bella and Ness from his theatre classes. It turned out that they were friends of Jake and Edward as well. We were in the coffee shop when they showed up and Simon was with them. It was quite a pleasant surprise. Edward and Jake were pretty reserved guys, but I noticed almost immediately that these were their girlfriends, even though they didn't introduce them as such.

They didn't figure it out at first, but eventually it became clear to them that Simon was my boyfriend. As we got to know each other, Simon and I were more open with each other, holding hands. It didn't change anything. They all seemed perfectly comfortable with gay people. It was a nice change to experience.

After 2 months, the six of us met at the coffee place almost every day. I knew that in the space of a year, we probably be close friends like the cast of Friends. I really liked it. In that time though, I did pick up on how strange they were. Bella was simply mesmerizing. She was equally as flawlessly beautiful as Edward. It was clear how much they belonged together. She also had pale skin and golden eyes. I wondered if they were wearing some sort of fashionable contact lenses. Ness was beautiful as well, but not quite as strikingly different.

They must have been on special diets, because Bella and Edward never ate any of the coffee house food. Jake and Ness did, but it was seldom. We never met at the coffee house during the day. It seemed like Jake was never free until early evening. Edwards morning classes were on the opposite side of campus, so I never saw him. Bella had a morning job, so her classes were all in the evenings. She said she needed it to pay for college. Edward's father was a doctor, so he was paying for Edward's tuition. Ness said her parents were covering her tuition as well. And Jake said he had a local job at one of the restaurants outside of Hanover.

Sometimes, Ness met up with Simon and I for lunch at the dining commons. She had morning classes with Simon. They really clicked, both theater nerds. She reminded me of Leah a little bit. She was a really caring person. It hadn't been long, but it was clear that she was invested in her friendship with Simon. I liked this because Simon had other people in his life now as well.

I spent the most time with Jake in the evenings playing soccer. Edward helped me a lot in bio;he really seemed to have a knack for the subject. Thanks to some study sessions, I did pretty well on the midterm. He got a perfect score. He didn't flaunt it but he was the top of the class.

Bella was the quietest of the group. She was difficult to read. She didn't talk about her life much outside of what was going on in her classes with Ness and Simon. It was just her personality, I realized. And in that way, she was the closest to my personality. Her relationship with Edward seemed extremely stable. It was apparent they were very happy together. There was also a quiet happiness between Ness and Jake. She was the life of the conversation and he was completely drawn to her, engrossed in everything that she said. It reminded me of how I felt about Simon.

I learned that the four of them lived in a house together, splitting the rent. They all came from Washington, where they knew each other previously. It must have been great; traveling with your close friends and going to college together. In that way, they were similar to Simon and I.

After midterms, I started to notice that something was off. Something was worrying them. They didn't talk about it, but they seemed strained for a few weeks. I didn't meet with them as much during that time. Everyone was extremely busy. Winter was almost underway, so Jake and I didn't meet for soccer anymore either. The theatre crew also had a play coming up and we're frequently tied up at play practice or set design.

In class Edward seemed really withdrawn. Something was wrong and I debated asking him about it but I didn't want to pry. Simon noticed it too. Bella was acting similarly. I guess that maybe it was money trouble or something wrong with relatives. I hoped it wasn't too serious. I missed how light-hearted it used to be at the coffee house. We didn't say anything though, and pressed on like nothing was wrong. In December Edward started missing a few classes, which was really unlike him. I kept the notes up and sent them to him. Eventually I brought it up before Christmas.

"I've noticed you've been withdrawn lately. Is everything okay?" I asked as we walked through the snow after class had just ended.

He seemed surprised by my comment but then smiled slightly.

"Yeah there's just some family trouble back in Washington."

"Oh, I hope it's nothing too serious."

"No, we might go back to Washington for a while. Christmas break really is welcome."

I didn't want to pry about his family but I also wanted to express interest.

"Do you have many brothers or sisters?"

"Yes. My father adopted myself and my two sisters and two brothers."

"Oh wow I never knew your family was so big," I said.

"I lost my parents many years ago, and and my father adopted me first. I was closely followed by my sister Rosalie and brother Emmett. My parents adopted Alice and Jasper years later. I'm really grateful to my father for adopting me. He's done so much for me," he said his tone sincerely appreciative.

"Is your father married?" I asked.

"Yes, his wife Esme is a loving mother," he replied and then I told him about my family and how my dad had Caleb 17 years after having me. He told me that Bella was close to her mother before she moved in with her father Charlie after her mother got married. She was originally from Phoenix. He told me that Jacob was actually a member of an indian tribe and he previously lived on a reservation on the Olympic Peninsula. Renesmee's parents lived in a town called Forks, the same town where Charlie was the chief of police. He didn't tell me much about them.

"Anyway, things should go back to normal after we visit home." The snow started falling and we parted ways. I headed back to my dorm where Simon was supposed to meet me.

It was lovely curling up with Simon under a blanket as the snow fell outside. We decided to stay in New Hampshire for Christmas. We loved experiencing our first White Christmas. And it felt really nice to have it all to ourselves. We could start our own traditions and decorate our own tree, of course also lighting a menorah as well, only not for too long because it wasn't safe in the dorms. As Edward had said, the four of them returned home during the holiday. I was hoping that when they returned, we could get back to our carefree days at the coffee house. Everything back to normal.


	5. Chapter 5: Visions (Edward)

_Chapter 5- Visions- Edward_

The rich evening colors in the Olympic forest were welcoming me home. I inhaled the rich fresh scent of the underbrush as I sped through the trees, as fast and silent as a shadow. Snow fell in wispy light flakes around me. I could hear them hitting the ground. Small animals huddled together in trees, I caught their scent as I passed. She wanted to join me tonight. I knew it bothered her to be away from me. Not as much as it bothered me to be away from her, but I really needed to talk to Alice. And I wanted to talk to Alice alone. Bella was frustrated by my stubbornness, but eventually let it go. When Alice had called with news of the first vision months ago, I had panicked. It was so unclear. So murky. Alice didn't know what to make of it. But she did know it wasn't good. For the first time since the events that drew the Volturi to us, Alice put all of her energy into focusing on her visions. Jasper called me with updates, saying Alice barely moved all day long. Occasionally she'd get a flash of something, but then cursed the werewolves and even Ness; they blocked her visions. They prevented her from seeing things clearly. When she couldn't see, she was completely hopeless. I wanted us to go home straight away but Bella disagreed. She didn't want to pull Ness out of school. She didn't want to scare her unnecessarily over something that wasn't definite. It made sense. But I still came home briefly to sit with Alice and watch the flickering visions with her. We worked on isolating definites from the visions. We all seemed to be gathered in them. To me, this wasn't a good thing. We didn't exactly plan to get together any time soon. So why were we together in the visions? There also seemed to be others in the visions. Other vampires. Immediately we thought of the Volturi, but we hadn't managed to identify any individuals. Alice had also kept tabs on Aro's decisions, and nothing alarming had come up these past few years. Aro seemed keen to ignore us completely, still chagrined over his defeat on the field. But I knew his mind. I knew it would never last. He was greedy. And what he hungered for was Alice. Once he decided he wanted her, it would haunt him until she was his. Vampires rarely changed, and this was something that wouldn't change either. There was no way we'd risk any of our family to take him out first. An offensive attack wasn't possible without our vampire comrades. No one needed to die unnecessarily, Carlisle had argued. We would fight only if we had to. And now it was unclear if we might have to, or if these new visions were just noise. Aro understood Alice's visions. He would know from my thoughts that she couldn't see Ness or the wolves. It could be that they were seeking blind spots in her vision, the way Victoria had all those years ago. Bella had been right to worry. We wouldn't be able to live our happily ever after forever. Eventually they would come for us again. I just didn't expect anything to come together so soon.

There was a whisper of sound behind me and I picked up easily on Alice's thoughts as she ran to meet me. _I've missed this._ She thought as she skipped into the clearing behind me predicting accurately that I would stop. I turned to join her. It was great being home again. I could see in her expression that she was relieved that I was there too. We grinned at each other and it was as good as a hug.

"Where's Jaz?" I asked quietly as I turned and began my run again. She kept pace with me easily, especially when I wasn't running my hardest.

 _He wanted to come. But I told him I needed some time. He's back at the house, brooding._ In her thoughts I caught a memory of a glimpse of Jasper's irritated expression before she shut the door to their room. At least he hadn't tried to control her mood. She despised it.

"Bella reacted similarly," I replied, and in the same moment I caught the scent of a herd of deer.

Alice had a vision of us hunting and replied with her thoughts. _Yeah I know I saw it. She's always retained her temper, just like when she was human._

We continued on together toward the herd to live the vision she just had. I was used to catching these quick premonitions with her all the time. I barely thought about it.

 _There have been no new visions today;_ she said referring to the mysterious ones she had been having. She told me before I could ask. It was like she predicted that I would ask this even without the help of a vision.

"Seems like we're not making much headway." I said with a sigh. "What do the others think?" I asked but already felt like I knew the answer.

"Emmett is a hundred percent on board with a rematch. Jasper is worried along with Esme and Carlisle. I'm not sure how to read Rose. Haughty as ever." She spoke to me instead of responding with thoughts. I believed it was how she retained some normalcy in our conversations.

"I don't want to reach out to the other vampires again without any definites." I said, slightly irritated at Emmett for his foolishness.

 _I agree._ She said mentally. _There's really only one thing I'm trying to sort from the visions now._ I waited knowing she would tell me the answer. _I want to know where these events are taking place. I keep going over the background..._ We were coming up on the deer herd now. We stopped and separated, moving through the trees and underbrush, silently. We could practically do it automatically, after hundreds of hunting trips. I could still hear her thoughts even though we were further apart.

"Trying to pinpoint a location," I acknowledged before I moved lithely to sink my teeth into the neck of the largest of the deer. She had also taken her kill, leaving not a spot of blood on her. I drained the buck then set him down gently. The other deer scattered. She was quickly finished with hers as well.

"Yeah, at least then we can be more prepared. I'd like to know where this little shindig is taking place; East or West coast."

"I'm still hoping for none at all," I said checking my clothes and confirming that no blood was on me either. "Still thirsty?" I asked meeting her bright newly golden gaze. She frowned and her thoughts drifted back to Jasper. "Yeah we better get back," I said and led the way back home.

Bella was reading one of her favorite Shakespeare novels on the couch by the fire back in the cottage. It was nice and relaxing to be in our original home. I liked the New Hampshire house, but this was our place.

"So?" She asked casually as I sat down next to her. She left the book on the couch and it was so battered and old it fell apart holding her place easily. I chuckled.

"I can't believe you're reading this again," I said avoiding the question at first.

"It's like a comfort blanket. Are you trying to distract me?" She said raising an eyebrow. The smile slipped off my face.

"Everything is indefinite. Right now she's trying to find a location. We haven't been able to identify any Volturi."

"Ness and Jake can't be helping either," she said acknowledging our blind spots in the family. I was finally accepting that Jake was just part of the family. I had no doubt that he would be sticking around. Nothing could part them. For 3 seconds, I pondered their relationship. I always felt guilty, hearing their private thoughts about each other. I knew Renesmee resented this intrusion of her privacy. At least she knew I tried to distance myself as much as possible. I was secretly relieved that she seemed just as taken with him as he was taken with her. I could feel how he felt about her and I knew precisely how devastating it would be if she ever left him. He was incapable of recovery as an imprinted wolf. He would be like I was when I left Bella those years ago; an empty shell. I shivered slightly uncomfortable with the memory. My vampire mind had no trouble recounting with painful precision how that felt.

"No, it is difficult," I answered eventually. A beat too late. She knew I was preoccupied.

"I wish I could hear your thoughts, Mr. Cullen." She said taking my hand. I turned my fingers up so that they entwined with hers. I felt a zing of electricity in my fingertips.

"As I do with yours as well Mrs. Cullen." She could, of course, pull back her shield, and reveal her thoughts to me. She had long since perfected that skill. She just didn't prefer it. Sometimes I was grateful that my thoughts were my own as well. As I tightened my grip on her hand my need for her reared up suddenly. Seized with desire, I bent to kiss her. She returned my passion, and suddenly we became completely preoccupied, melting right into each other, adrift in our lust.

Later, after a stretch of contented silence on the floor in front of the fire, she spoke again, her lips moving against the skin on my shoulder.

"I don't know what to do about Ness. I want to leave the college and take refuge somewhere as we wait this out. But I know she'll be really disappointed. She's so happy. And I know she would miss Simon and Bram."

"I know. I'm not sure what to do either. For now I think we continue to check in with Alice. Yesterday she thought about how she might want to come back to New Hampshire with us for a little while. Might be nice, hanging out with her and Jasper on campus," I said calmly. "I know I would feel better if she was close by. At least until we know what's going on with more clarity."

"It may never resolve, you know," she said.

"I fervently hope so," I said, kissing her hair.

The next day I sat with Carlisle in his study.

"I'm glad you're back son but I understand your decision. You know we're only a phone call away. If anything comes up we won't hesitate to come." He said warmly, and I realized how much I missed my father's steady warm thoughts. It was a comfort.

"I appreciate it. I'm hoping for the best but I always knew that something might come up again. I'm just sad it's so soon," I said my voice dropping off. He nodded and I took in the worry in his thoughts.

"I hear that you're going to have some company," he said his eyes twinkling and his thoughts rested on Alice and Jasper.

"It's temporary. They don't seem to mind." I said and I reflected upon how close we've been these past few years. It was normal for there to be stretches of time in which we lived apart, pursuing our own interests. Since I met and married Bella, we'd all been living much closer together. It made sense with Renesmee. We all wanted to be close to her.

"I'll probably visit soon as well. It's been awhile since I roamed the New Hampshire forests. A lot of deer there, and coyotes," he said.

"We'll be happy to have you," I said nodding. It made it very easy to host vampires when no one was sleeping.

"Don't worry son, our family is strong," he assured me before I walked out to meet Emmett and Jasper for a hunt.

 _I know my thoughts are conflicted but you shouldn't be worried._ Jasper thought as he flew through the underbrush moving with a graceful gait. Behind us Emmett moved more like a boulder through trees, as delicate as a battering ram. He would need to quiet down if we were ever going to catch any deer. I could tell from his thoughts that he wanted a mountain lion tonight though. And we had quite a ways to go before we found our normal spot.

 _You know I don't prefer Alice out in the open, but with the Volturi it really doesn't matter where we are. We're in danger no matter where we go._ I flinched because I still was hoping, clinging to the notion that the Volturi were not involved at all. But in my heart of hearts, I knew the truth. I'd known it for six years but constantly pushed the thought aside, desperately trying to lead a normal worry-free life with my family. As long as Aro existed, my family could be taken from me. I couldn't live peacefully with that knowledge. Of course, I couldn't lose Carlisle my brothers and my sisters. But losing Bella and Renesmee would be equivalent to losing everything in life itself. My life would become meaningless and I would quickly follow them thereafter. To this day, I didn't know if Renesmee knew this about me. She'd become just as talented as Jake about concealing her thoughts. And Jake… Because of us he was as good as dead himself but like me with Bella he could never stay here without her. The burden of the pack's demise on top of my own family's was too much to bear. I writhed mentally, sick imagining it. Some of the wolves were quite young, infants in comparison to me. I felt an unnatural calm steal over me and I frowned.

 _I know you don't like it when I alter your emotions, but I couldn't help myself. You worry far too much._

"It never feels like enough," I uttered but I also embraced the mental morphine he provided me. Not to feel nowadays was the best I could hope for as things grew more and more dangerous. Unlike Ness and Jake, I couldn't escape into sleep for a while to give my mind a break. This was the closest I could achieve that.

In Jasper's thoughts he was surprised by how I seemed to embrace his gift. He couldn't read thoughts precisely like I did but he could read moods and emotions. His burden, similar to mine, was to live in a sea of them all the time.

 _That's pretty concerning you know. Normally you don't like it when I do that. It must be more serious than I realized._

"No I'm just reliving some of the feelings I had six years ago. I was thinking about the Quileutes also."

I heard Emmett sigh behind me. He hated when people share worrying just as much as he hated giving up a fight. He felt like both of these things were pointless. If there was a fight, he was going to be a participant and that was the only future that occurred to him. He didn't like considering that it was better not to fight, but occasionally relented whenever Rose pitched a fit. With me though, he had no patience for this.

"I don't know what Jazz is saying, but we have to let this go. This depressing stuff is why it's no fun to go hunting anymore lately." Emmett said in a bored tone.

"I'm not really preoccupied with fun," I said dryly. Emmett was intelligent enough to know better than comment when I was in this mood. He shrugged.

 _We don't know anything Edward. Until we do this is all wasted energy._ He said in a mental voice that was more supportive.

I chose not to say anything either and picked up the stronger scent of the mountain lions as we grew closer to the Hoh rainforest. We had to be careful because there were always more hikers in this region. Jasper was a lot more adjusted now than he was those years ago. He didn't struggle as much with the scent of human blood.

In a matter of minutes we located the lions. There were only two and I waited as Emmett and Jazz hunted them. I wasn't that thirsty after my hunt with Alice. And my thoughts also effectively killed my thirst as well.

 _It would be better if you didn't let your worry affect Bella and Ness. Once we get to New Hampshire, the dread in the house could be unbearable._ Jasper thought as he finished with his lion.

"I'm glad you're going to be there," I said.

"Wish I was but Rose is not eager. Could be nice to have some alone time," Emmett said but he was very careful not to daydream about Rose near me. He was a really polite brother even if he didn't always act it. Jasper was even better at concealing his thoughts; almost like a pro. I heard not a trace of Alice's and Jasper's love life in their thoughts. Unless I was careless enough to be close to the house when they were together. After a few accidents I didn't let it happen anymore; the simple etiquette when you could read minds. Em didn't care, but he knew it made me uncomfortable. I isolated myself when I was with Bella, knowing Jasper was uninterested in getting wrapped up in our emotions during that time. Sometimes I envied Emmett's simple existence without a gift. He was frequently jealous though. His super strength was his own gift in a way.

Suddenly my phone buzzed and I frowned. I extracted it for my pocket and tapped the screen. It was a text from Alice.

 _You need to go home now. Something is up. Don't panic, it's not that bad. No Volturi anyway. But my evening's schedule vanished suddenly._

It certainly was more than enough to pique my interest.

"Alice told me that something is going on at home so I'm deciding to head back. She didn't say," I added as I read Jasper's mind.

"Let us know if you need anything," said Emmett as I turned away to begin to run.


	6. Chapter 6: Go (Renesmee)

**Please note the following chapter contains mild sexual content.**

 _Chapter 6- Go- Renesmee_

I heard him before I smelled his scent. For as long as I could remember, my senses were acutely aware of Jake; his scent, his movements, the beat of his heart, the chuckle in the back of his throat. He didn't smell like a wet dog the way that my mother and father reacted to him along with all my other vampire relatives. He smelled like the earth; a rich woods scent, and even though I was surrounded by creatures, all very perceptive of scent, I was the only one who could smell this aspect of him. One time though, I did hear mom describe this before when she was still human. She also said that Jake was his own sun; his personality was warm. I felt this everyday with him. Sometimes I didn't know how to feel about my mother's past with Jake; how it almost seemed like she fell for him even though she loved my father. I also didn't know how to feel about what my father did to my mother when she was young and still human; when he left her for six months. I tried to imagine it from my point of view to make sense of it. If I thought I was hurting Jake by being in his life, wouldn't I also leave to give him the best chance of happiness? I'm grateful that my father changed his mind though, otherwise I wouldn't exist. My parent's love story is something that has always warmed my heart and given me hope. Sometimes on cold winter nights, we like to spend some time sitting together in the big house around a warm fireplace and Aunt Alice and Uncle Emmett tell stories about meeting Uncle Jasper and Aunt Rosalie. I hang on their every word, deeply fascinated by their past. The way that Grandma and Grandpa look at each other as well, is proof that my family is forever and foremost built upon love.

It's different with Mom's family. It's harder to talk about and harder to understand. Most likely because I've never had the chance to meet my other grandmother, and it didn't seem like it was really possible. It made me sad because I knew from the way my mother talked about her that she sorely missed her. Grandpa's very loving, but I can also tell he still missed Grandma Renee sometimes. Instead of love bringing hope to my mother's family, it seemed to make them ache instead. Understanding both realities really grounded me.

The Quileute families were also very interesting. The ties they shared originated in their DNA; the very fabric of their being. Sometimes I managed to convince dad to tell me about the pack mind and how mesmerizing it is. I could have also asked Jake but somehow that felt like an invasion of his privacy. Like my parents, I was also grateful that Jake and I had our own thoughts to ourselves. Unless of course I decided to share a thought with him.

I could hear him more clearly as Jake approached the house. He had just been running and he was trotting up to my window. I loved his wolf form as much as his human form. They held equal parts of his being and I almost felt like he was more vulnerable when he looked at me as a wolf. His heart was human but his soul was the wolf. My wolf.

I peered out the window and saw his dark eyes appraising me in the dark. The moon was reflecting off of them. I opened the window and leaned out, planting a kiss on his nose. After only a moment I perceived that something was wrong. He was frowning slightly in his wolf form. I touched his muzzle and thought, _what is it?_ He raised his head once flicking his muzzle at me and I realized he was communicating that he was about to phase. I stepped back and waited for him to pull some shorts on and climb through the window. I was sure Mom wouldn't be pleased. My parents didn't approve of Jake climbing through my window at night. So there must be a very good reason.

"Hey," he said, in a warm throaty greeting. He leaped lightly through the window and then reached out to give me a hug. I went into his arms willingly wondering what was going on. "You aren't going to like what I have to say," he said quietly. Jake never liked to make me unhappy. He always went to great lengths to prevent it at all costs, even though I pointed out that it was normal every now and then.

"The packs?" I asked worriedly. Jake stepped back and took my hand and led me over to my bed.

"No, no one is hurt," he said sitting down and pulling me close to him. I sat almost completely in his lap and brushed some of his hair out of his face lightly. I felt a pulse of warmth and electricity in the pit of my stomach. More and more this past year, I felt a growing physical attraction to him, that gripped my body and left me overcome and breathless. I knew he felt the same, but always controlled himself. I had the sense it cost him intense effort. It certainly cost me some now. I pushed my desire aside and met his wary gaze. Lust was not on his mind.

"Alice talked to me recently about some of her visions and how unclear they were about the future. She has no idea if the Volturi are coming back or not. I'm not sure that I can live with that uncertainty."

It took me the space of a minute to know what he was doing. He wasn't sharing this thought only with me. My mother could hear him clearly as well from the other side of the house. I knew that she would speak to him directly after this. It took me another minute to truly understand his intention. I also knew that, judging from his expression, he clearly struggled over it emotionally before coming here tonight. Above all his wants and desires, my protection was the utmost priority.

He was attempting to make this choice for me because he knew I didn't want this. Often he told me I was irrational about my safety. That I took too much for granted, and I should be more concerned and more careful. Maybe he was right. I didn't really fear much at all. The only thing I really feared was losing the ones I loved. And this is what he felt for me right now. I shook my head, not wanting to hear this.

"I want us to run away together," he said carefully. "I don't know if they will be able to track us, but we can do our best. The Cullens will deal with the threat, but I know that they want you safe."

"You don't even know if they're after us," I whispered, upset that my mother could hear this. I didn't want her to think that I could ever run away from her, from our family.

"Better safe than sorry," he said, tightening his grip on me.

"But your pack, college…" I said my voice trailing off, because I knew that neither of these things mattered to Jake compared to my safety. I also felt like he was dead set on this decision. I didn't know if I could change his mind.

Mom knocked and came into the room. Jake immediately extracted me from his lap, shifting me so I was sitting next to him.

"Jake," she said and I could hear the desolation in her voice. "Are you really serious?"

He looked at her, and I could see in his eyes that he regretted that he had to have this conversation with her. That he never planned to, and his hand was forced.

"Once you were planning to trust me with her for safe keeping. It's come down to it again. Don't tell me you haven't predicted it yourself."

I didn't exactly understand what he meant. What did he mean that she trusted me with him? I looked questioningly at her but she shook her head slightly. I knew that she didn't plan to tell me in this moment.

"I guess I thought we had more time," I heard her say, and for the first time in several years, I could tell that there were tears in her voice even though they were not in her eyes. My parents couldn't cry because they were vampires.

"You'll hear from us. I don't know how, but we will find ways. But you're the only one I'll talk to." I also understood what this meant. My mother has a mental shield. No one can read her thoughts. She was able to project it to protect me 6 years ago when the Volturi came to Forks. If they ever were to return, they would never know about the reasons Jake and I left, where we were, or any conversations we had with Mom. No one could ever know her thoughts. It was our safety.

"What am I supposed to say to Edward?" She said brokenly.

"He's hunting. I waited until he left with Emmett and Jasper. We don't have much time." He stood and approached her and gave her a hug, ignoring her ice cold skin. He had long gotten over being close to vampires. "Tell him that Ness and I decided to take a journey on our own because we're young and in love." It sounded pretty silly to me but his voice was only serious.

"He knows how much Ness loves school," she contradicted.

"I think it's the best story. You're the only one who can convince him because he can't hear you. We have to keep this from them. We can always come back in a few months. Or longer…" he trailed off and I could tell that it was painful for him to imagine being away from his pack. He could never tell them also. He would leave no clues in anyone's mind. He was thorough.

"You need to return. I'll miss you both every minute of every day," she said and with that comment, she was accepting what Jake proposed. Did I accept it? I felt dizzy and sick, jarred with this plan; the extremeness of it. But was it extreme? I felt a chill of dread spread over me. The concept of not seeing my parents again was impossibly foreign. I would never ever accept that. Nothing on earth could keep me from them forever. Unless…

"I couldn't bear it, knowing that something will happen to you.." I moaned and launched myself into my mother's arms. She stroked my hair and I could feel that there was a tremble in her touch.

"We have Alice. We have your father," she said and I could tell in her voice that she was worried about my safety too. It was this that convinced her that she had to let me go for now. And wouldn't I go eventually? Out into the world for the first time on my own without my parents? It was a growing pain that I wasn't prepared for. But I looked back at Jake and realized that I would forever go wherever he went. Our life together stretched out and wound away from my parents. We would always be reunited again and again as long as we lived. But for the first time, I also accepted that we would also be apart. But I wouldn't stay away for more than a year at a time. I didn't even know how I would handle a month. I'd have to talk to Jake when we were alone.

"Bells. I've known that you've always feared this was a reality. I found the backpack in my room. I bet Edward doesn't even know you put it there." My mother stared at him solemnly saying nothing.

"Is it with you?" She asked her voice catching.

"Yes. I have everything," he said and glanced at me pointedly. And I saw that he thought that he had everything, _except_ me, but he soon would. "We'll go south. I'll find Zaphrina," he assured her.

"You realize that eventually your pack will know what you're up to because you share thoughts in your wolf form," my mother said. Jake sighed. "I've left my pack. They can't hear me anymore," and I felt my eyes tear up as I heard the heartbreak in his voice. I took his hand and squeezed it.

We really were alone now. We would be leaving everyone who could read our thoughts behind.

"When you come back they'll be waiting for you. I'll tell them you're going away with Ness, the same story I'll tell Edward. After all I am taking acting lessons." Her voice fell flat and I knew that her heart was broken. I couldn't bear it.

"You'll have more than enough money to buy anything you could need. I added some more," she said. Then she approached me and pulled me into a hug.

"I refuse to say goodbye. This is temporary. I'll tell myself every minute of every day," she managed in a rough voice.

"So will I," I said, feeling my voice break as well. "And we will reach out to you like Jake said," I confirmed.

"I love you Mom," I said bravely, I drew my strength from Jake. He was always my rock.

"I love you more than my own life. At my wedding, I said what you just said to my own mother, also in goodbye. Why must I repeat this this way?" she said in a whisper.

"Temporary," Jake breathed behind us.

"You need to go before Edward comes back," said my mother pulling away. I could see the desolation in her eyes but she already was pushing the emotion down. I felt dizzy and punch-drunk. Jake was razor focused on the mission. In a matter of moments he grabbed the only things in my room he knew mattered at all to me. My locket from my parents, my iPod from my father, my promise ring from Jake, and a book of photos. I wouldn't need much clothes, I knew that. I also had some stuff at Jake's house. I pulled a coat from my closet and a hat. I grabbed some hiking boots, some sneakers, and slipped into my tevas. It was still warm out, and I wouldn't need my coat long where we were going. But I knew that it could still be cold at night. I would have my warm werewolf always. Jake snagged a bag and easily fit everything into it. I tucked a very soft cashmere blanket my parents bought me for my birthday under my arm. My mother reached into the closet and extracted the most beautiful blue blouse I have ever owned. I only wore it for special occasions. I wouldn't need it where I was going, but she knew it was my favorite. I took it in my hand. I was barely holding on.

"Go, I love you," she said then turned to Jake and said, "Take care of her." Jake easily wound me into his arms, startling me and jumped cleanly out the window, my whispered goodbye falling from my lips and fading into the night.

Jake flew through the forest in his wolf form. Wanting to miss my father. I broke down realizing I never had a chance to tell him goodbye. My thoughts were never safe like my mother's. I wondered if my mother was casting a shield over us to continue to protect our thoughts as we ran away. I thought that she was. I still couldn't believe this was actually happening, was I only relaxing in my bed half an hour ago? My heart continued to break because realized I wouldn't see my grandfathers, grandmother, or my aunts and uncles. I wouldn't see the pack. I would miss all of them terribly and there was nothing I could do. And Jake cut ties with them as well, all for me. I think my heart broke the most for him. I felt Jake quietly humming a strange tuneless sound from his throat that made his body rumble. It sounded like a whisper, a sigh, and a song combined. I knew he was trying to comfort me. Always putting my needs first.

In less than no time at all, we reached his father's house. A small cute house and garage that were nestled in the trees of the La Push reservation. I'd always enjoyed coming here because it felt so relaxed and free; a sanctuary for just the two of us and occasionally a cheery Billy inside, still moving around in his wheelchair. He was getting older, and I knew Jake worried about him. I also knew that while we were gone, my parents would make sure he was taken care of. I knew he was asleep now and we would not wake him. Jake wasn't going inside, he was heading for the garage. I didn't know why we were here. He stopped and lowered himself to the ground. Gently he set me down and moved behind the garage to phase. I continued to weep and he was back in a minute, cradling me in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted this," he said kissing my hair.

"Why are we here?" I managed.

"I know you needed a couple minutes," he said quietly. He really didn't know what I needed. I didn't know myself. I tried to stem the flow and I knew that Jake was agonized with this. It's why I tried to avoid crying at all costs.

"I've got you, I'll never leave you," he said solemnly and hugging me and I knew without a doubt it was true. He nuzzled my face and I felt tears on his face as well. This made my stomach twist because he never did this. He only did once when Aunt Alice threw us a fake prom and I came out in my dress. We danced on a dance floor surrounded by twinkle lights under the stars. Dad played piano for us. Jake told me I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen with watery eyes. The memory of this helped me get a hold of myself. My family was still mine, I was just going away for a while. I had to maintain that mindset. I looked up and kissed his teary cheek. He looked back at me looking vulnerable, and my heart ached for him. I wiped his other tears away and kissed his mouth gently. For the first time Jake and I were also completely alone. We would never need to hide our love. Anything at all, now that our thoughts were safe. The warmth in me reared up suddenly as I stared into his pained beautiful eyes, stunning me and making me catch my breath. I felt his arms around me, my skin feeling hot where he touched. And then somehow I was kissing him again passionately without deciding to consciously. At first he kissed me back cautiously, still crying quietly. After a moment he stopped, processing my level of desperation. I didn't really give in to this sort of thing ever. I hadn't felt ready for this level of intimacy yet. He was unprepared for this. I could feel him hold back and then eventually completely let go, kissing me like his life depended on it. Maybe it did. I sat in his lap and ran my fingers through his hair. He clutched my lower back. My throat felt hot and dry as I pushed him down to the ground. He was surprised lying there staring blankly up at me. He didn't say anything though. He stared beseechingly, and I knew that he would do anything at all that I asked for. He would comfort me. He would sleep next to me. He would kiss me. And for the first time in my life I wondered if he would sleep _with_ me. I stared at him, panting, and I suddenly was aware of how nervous he was. His heart was pounding under his T-shirt. He was shaking slightly, but not in the way he would to phase. He stared into my eyes, frozen. I wiped his face for him again gently. "No more tears," I said gently, then kissed his cheek. I reached down and lifted his shirt slightly. He continued to blink, simply stunned. Maybe he imagined this a hundred times. A thousand times. Daydreams and real dreams. And I was finally being more intimate with him in reality.

"Ness," he groaned, in slight protest, as he understood, concern in his glittering eyes.

"No," I whispered, and managed to pull his shirt over his head. He tried to sit up and I pushed him firmly back down. And I think this shocked him more than ever, his mouth popped open.

"Ness I.." I leaned down and kissed his ear.

"Shhh, baby. It's fine." I said in a whisper. I rarely ever called him that. He tensed. "Are you okay?" ... _with sex_. I asked him, knowing he knew what I meant. I was stunned I was saying any of this. But I felt a hunger I never possessed before. He couldn't speak, he lay perfectly still, his eyes inches from mine. I saw the desire there, and the anxiety. He didn't say no though. I dipped down and kissed down his throat and moved to his chest. I traced the planes of his chest marveling his beautiful golden skin. He was so beautiful. I felt him tremble slightly. I wanted to calm him, and excite him even more. With my lower body I ground myself against him with a lust that I never did before. He gasped aloud. Maybe I always knew I'd eventually seduce him. He certainly never would pressure me in the slightest or make any sort of move like this. I sort of liked that I was doing it. That I was assuring him for once. That he was so vulnerable and trusting of me. I felt him beneath me and I knew he wanted this. His body did. He just needed to disconnect his mind. Let himself feel. I wanted to help him try. For the first time in my life I touched him gently through his shorts and he jumped. I moved back up to him and kissed his lips. He answering kiss was cautious. I wound my fingers through his and I lifted his hand and guided it to my chest. I eased his hand on me letting him touch me. After a minute he let himself explore me more freely. He was gentle. I could tell he was really turned on by me now. There was a need in his eyes now.

I pulled my own shirt off revealing my bra, knowing he wouldn't do it. He gazed at me and I surprisingly didn't feel self conscious. In the back of my mind, I processed that this was the first time he'd ever gone this far with anyone. Sure he kissed people before, but never did he get naked or have sex. Either kind of it. I didn't know if I should be naked yet. I didn't know what I was doing. I was a virgin as well. I'd only ever kissed Jake or held his hand. Not much else. But I saw this in movies. It seemed to be going alright so far.

"I'm going to try something, stop me if you want me to, okay?" I said and he gulped. I think he knew what I was going to do. He sat up, holding me so I wouldn't fall.

"Ness I don't expect anything, really. We can stop, this is a lot," he said in a small voice I did not recognize. Afraid.

"I want to," I said.

"But you're emotional, it's not.." I kissed him to stop him. His anxiety was ruining this for him.

"Jake, It's going to feel amazing. I want you, I want to do this," I said and I knew this, more than anything at all surprised him. "Don't you want it?" I asked him, brought up short, for the first time really feeling self conscious. Maybe he wasn't ready to be naked with me and I was moving too fast for him.

"Yeah, of course I do," he moaned, I knew how badly he wanted me. "I love you," he told me and it sounded like he was overcome with the power and truth of it.

"I'm okay with all of it, I love you." I said, finally confirming for him how far I would take this. He swallowed again, overwhelmed.

"I want you to be okay," he said reaching out and stroked my face, his hand more steady than before. "Okay, we'll take it slow, no need to rush," I said kissing his jaw. He still looked at me looking sightly reluctant. "Yeah… Yeah I'd prefer that," he said sounding a bit relieved. But I wanted to do more tonight.

"Could you lie back and relax for me?" I said in my first attempt at a seductive voice. His eyes popped. He hesitated for the last time studying my expression, confirming that I was serious. We were running away together, starting our lives independently, the world our oyster, and his expression changed finally. He was letting go. And I knew then, we were lovers.

"Okay babe" he answered his voice warm, sensual. He kissed me. Then he did it, lying back slowly, nestling down on the floor. Giving himself to me, unreserved. His body relaxed under me. I finally got what I wanted.

I began kissing his ear, gentle and slowly. He moaned, this turning him on greatly. I kissed down his neck and to his chest. I felt goosebumps on him. I kissed deliberately down to his naval and I felt his anticipation in his body. When I reached his shorts I stroked the waistband.

"Is it okay if I keep going? If I take these off?" I asked quietly. There was a pause.

"Yes.." he said sounding slightly anxious.

"I can wait if you're nervous, we don't have to do this," Jake shook his head. "It's just a big moment for me is all," he admitted.

"Me too, I love you. And finally I get to love all of you..." I said, feeling my cheeks blush. Jacob smiled.

"Please," he said and closed his eyes. I tugged them down slowly, hooking them off him. He lay stock still. I sighed. His eyes snapped open, looking vulnerable.

"You're so beautiful," I said, marveling at his beauty, just like every other part of him. And he was mine forever. I stroked him softly and he shivered in pleasure.

"Ohh.." he moaned.

"That's right," I said, seductively and leaned down to kiss his belly button. Then down to his happy trail gently. Savoring each moment. Then I gently connected my mouth to him, he was very turned on to me. He jerked and again, moaned in pleasure.

"That feels….oh...so good.." he managed. I continued, experimenting with different motions.

His moans put me over the edge. Trembling with pleasure, gripping the ground with his hands. "Oh God…" he moaned. "Oh my God…" it was weak with pleasure. I ran my hands lightly over his legs savoring the goose bumps. His inner thigh was so sensitive. And other parts too. He was extraordinary. Just like the rest of him.

"Still okay?" I asked gently, disconnecting from him.

"Yes.." he moaned so weak. "I love you Ness," and his voice sounded thick. I stroked his stomach, comforting his sudden wave of emotion.

"I love you baby," I crooned. Then I moved back to him. I knew when he was close, I could tell. His breathing was ragged.

"I'm… I'm…" he gasped. I knew. I sent him a thought, because I couldn't disconnect from him at this point. _Come for me_. His voice caught. Then he climaxed, gasping and shaking. After a few moments, he relaxed back. "Ohh," he moaned letting out his breath. "Ness...Ness," he whispered. I disengaged and kissed his stomach gently. "That was so good. Oh my God," he whispered. I pulled myself higher so I was laying on his chest and stroked his hair. He wound his arms around me. "Do you want..?" He asked gently, referring to pleasure for me.

"No, not tonight," realizing how true it was. And how it was better to slow down. We had enough time, eternity. And he obviously was concerned about the speed as well. "Why don't we rest for a few minutes. Not too many. I know we can't linger long just a few minutes…" I said gently. I could tell the emotions of it had drained him. I reached down and pulled his shorts up. Then I brushed my watch setting 20 minutes of rest time. "Close your eyes, I love you." I said gently stroking his chest. He blinked sleepily. I nestled into his arms and he was welcoming of my desire to doze.

"I love you," he breathed. He fell asleep in moments. More exhausted than I realized. And our world changed forever. It was a moment of bliss right in the middle of hell. I drifted off welcoming the oblivion even just for a few minutes, in my boyfriend's arms.


	7. Chapter 7: Tears (Alice)

_Chapter 7- Tears- Alice_

Alice disengaged gently from Jasper though his lips lingered on her throat. He met her gaze and registered the change.

"What?" he murmured. It was hard to break away from him. His body and his gentleness, his soft golden eyes enveloped her and transferred her to a place of deep calm. Bliss. But now it was interrupted. She blinked and saw the image still as plain as day. Edward and herself racing across the snow toward a blurred figure. A vampire, blonde with red eyes; a woman. And in the middle of the field a boy, also blonde with glasses...and she snapped his neck. He was human. She blinked and it faded.

"A vision, something terrible. A vampire murdering someone," she whispered. Jasper looked concerned.

"Anyone we know?" he asked stroking her face. This prolonged her desire for him. Her breath caught and he realized. Suddenly the feeling cooled. She arched an eyebrow. "I know, I cheated," he admitted. Jasper was an empath that could alter emotions.

"We might, we were there, trying to save him," she said getting up and pulling on her clothes.

"Where?" he said, doing the same.

"NH, I think. I'm going to find Edward," she said. He knew he was not to come automatically.

"I'll gather the others," he said. She leaned forward and kissed him passionately, not liking to be interrupted. He held her tightly then disengaged again. "I love you," he whispered. Alice froze, suddenly assaulted with a second vision. Edward in the woods looking like he was crying, dry sobs. Vampires couldn't make tears. She froze on this image. The two visions were minutes apart. They had to be connected.

"Edward," she said voice catching. So she was right, something was up over there tonight. Jasper felt her despair.

"Is he alright?" he said sharply.

"Yes and no, he's upset right now, I'm going. I'll call when I know more," she flitted to the door and glanced back. "I love you Jaz," she said then moved to the open window in the corridor and jumped out into the night.

…

"Edward?" she called quietly. He should be close to here. She heard gasps ahead and moved closer slowly. She had another short vision of her comforting him. She entered the clearing and saw him clutching a tree for support. She was stunned by how vulnerable he looked.

"Alice," he breathed not looking up, knowing her thoughts. _What happened?_ She thought. He shook his head, looking anguished. She came forward and moved close to him. He was shaking. She then gently reached forward to pull him into a hug. He let her and hugged her back.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Whatever it is we'll deal with it. Is it Bella?" she asked, mouth suddenly dry.

"No," he moaned. She only knew of him crying one other time, when he left Bella the year before marrying her. She comforted him that time too.

"Honey?" came a new voice in the clearing. It was Bella. She flitted next to them, looking anguished seeing her husband cry, even though there were no tears. Alice thought about Jasper. When he did, her heart broke into a million pieces. "Oh honey, come here," she said gently reaching for him. Alice passed him to her and she hugged him. "It's okay," She crooned. "I know honey, I know," she said quietly. Edward made another sob. "Shhh," she said quietly. So she knew then. Alice exchanged a look with her over his shoulder. She nodded confirming she would tell her. He continued to cry tearless cries quietly and she kissed his hair. "Let's go inside baby," she said gently.

She let go and led him by his hand. They went inside and Alice followed. They sat on the couch and Bella held him close to her. He wasn't crying anymore, but he still looked upset. What could hurt him so badly? She knew then.

"Ness?" she said. Bella nodded gravely. "Where is she?" she breathed. Bella looked pained.

"She left with Jacob. They didn't explain." She said, eyes not quite honest. Alice directed her thoughts away, understanding.

"And they didn't say goodbye to you?" she asked Edward gently. He shook his head, eyes shut. "Edward, I'm so sorry. They will be back, they won't stay away forever," she said consolingly.

"What if the Volturi track them? You can't see them. We may never know," he moaned, covering his face. She shuddered at the thought.

"I'm sure they will check in," said Bella, and Alice relaxed, knowing it must be true. She moved her thoughts away again immediately.

"I came to discuss something with you,"she said feeling bad that it was so inopportune. Edward looked up questioningly. Alice let the vision flood her mind, remembering the details. Edward froze. Bella felt this and looked alarmed.

"A vision?" she asked. Alice nodded. "The Volturi?" she whispered.

"No...well, I don't think. But it's at the college I think. A human you know is in grave danger from one of us." Bella froze too.

"A vampire? Who's in trouble?" she whispered.

"Simon.." Edward breathed, seeing him in Alice's thoughts. "But why now?" He asked as Bella looked sick.

"Something triggered this…" Alice murmured. "What's changed?"

Bella gasped. "One thing. Jake...Ness. They are blind spots, maybe by leaving, you are learning something that would have happened anyway," she breathed.

"Or maybe," Edward mused, "them leaving is why it's happening. And the decision to leave triggered this future."

"We can't know either way," said Bella anxiously. "What can we do now?" she asked.

"Well..".Alice said quietly. "If we go, we won't be successful. I saw it," she frowned.

"No.." Bella said. "No it can't be…"

"Maybe getting Jake back...is our best chance left of saving him," Edward said looking at Bella. She looked torn. She obviously wanted her daughter to be safe. But the death of a friend…

"I don't know what headstart they got, but we better start with La Push. Why don't you and Alice follow the trail and I'll wait behind in case they come back or a phone call." Bella said.

They were on their feet in a flash.

"On it," Edward said and flew out the door, Alice at his heels. They flew through the dark forests like wraiths, animals stilling in fear at their approach. They made more noise than usual, crashing through the brush without delay, following the blissfully fresh scent.

"It's headed toward the line," Edward said. Alice could hear him clearly. They angled themselves and crossed it. The treaty allowed safe passage now that the families were merged. The scent lead to Billy's. They must have stopped Alice thought. As they came up on it she registered heartbeats. Maybe Edward did, but didn't interpret it as fast as she did.

"Stop!" she called in vain. He made it a bit farther then froze. Jacob's thoughts must have been extremely vivid. Edward choked. "Go, I'll bring them back," Alice told him wide eyed. He blinked, face blank, then turned and hurried away. Alice knew what the quickened heartbeats meant. They were being intimate. She didn't think much of it. They were of age and chose to be safely away. Probably on their way to Mexico in the morning. No crime in this. She moved back so she could barely hear them and settled in to wait. She heard the heartbeats slow and waited ten more minutes. Then she approached. She heard Jake say _I love you_. Her dead heart warmed. She always liked Jacob, and approved of him for Ness. Despite Edward's thoughts. He probably wouldn't like anyone for his daughter. She moved up to the garage and called his name. A moment later he appeared looking surprised.

"Alice, what's going on?" he said blankly, cheeks still flaming from his passion.

"Something bad has happened. I know you were leaving but you need to come back. It's urgent," Her face was pinched in fear. Jacob read it then nodded, recognizing it meant a vision and a serious situation. She was sure. Because her night disappeared. They were coming back. He went back and he whispered to Ness, then reappeared carrying her.

"Back to Edward's?" he asked.

"Yes," She said and they left at werewolf speed. In between human and vampire when he was in human form. He must have been curious but bit his tongue. Maybe he didn't want to accidentally wake Ness, who still seemed a bit out of it. When they got back to the house was lit, and Alice could tell everyone was there. They went through the front door and stopped. Edward and Bella were on the couch and stood up immediately. Edward still seemed a bit out of it, upset by what he saw.

 _Edward, you knew this would be someday. She's careful and he loves her. Plus they tried to be alone. It's not wrong of them._ She said to him mentally. Edward looked at her but said nothing. _I know you waited until marriage but they are from this century, they make their own choices. Jake's already married in his mind._ His mouth twisted and she stopped communicating with him about it. Then he looked at the door as Jake came in holding Ness. She stirred and looked around. Her surprised expression so reminded her of Bella. The same chocolate eyes.

"Oh!" she said.

Jake whispered, "I know, they are about to explain," and set her down. Edward stepped forward his face pained. Ness looked at her father and her eyes filled with tears. Then she ran into his arms. He hugged her tightly. His voice caught once more.

"I can't believe you were almost gone," he murmured.

"I'm sorry daddy," she replied. "I didn't want to," she said, voice thick.

"I know," he said and gently pulled away. Jake came up looking guilty. Edward stared at him, face a mask.

"Sorry, I felt like I had to do something to keep her safe, what with all the uncertainty lately." he said. Edward patted his shoulder, obviously putting aside his other resentment for the time being.

"I'm sorry too, I know the sacrifice was big," he said.

"Why are we back?" asked Ness of the room. Everyone exchanged a look. They didn't want her to know about the death.

" A vampire is going to attack Dartmouth, I had a vision," she said. Ness looked alarmed. "We want to go back to protect your friends," she continued.

"Simon and Bram?" she asked "Are they in danger?" Alice nodded. "When do we leave?" she asked her parents.

"We don't have an exact time frame," Edward said. Bella moved to Ness's side and held out one of her jackets and tossed Jake a sweatshirt. He still had his backpack.

"See you at the big house," Alice said, and raced back into the night, probing mentally for more details. At the house she sat with Jasper and talked about how the visions had stopped.

"Now that Jake and Ness are back, maybe a blind spot is too. Search for the woman if you can," he encouraged. She tried but got nothing. A supportive warmth filled her. Jasper was trying to comfort her.

"Thanks," she mouthed. Rosalie and Emmett were then back. Carlisle and Esme on their heels.

"What's up Edward?" Emmett said when Edward also came through the door, hair shiny with an evening drizzle.

" A vampire will likely attack our human friends in New Hampshire. We want to stop her before she can attack the school. Especially because she likely will have tracked our scent in."

"Do you think she is Volturi?" Esme asked.

"Not sure," Alice said heavily.

"One vamp? No problem," Emmett said bored.

"It's a public place. It will require discretion," Carlisle reminded him.

"Are we going to go tonight?" He asked Edward.

"I suppose we need to check flights," he replied.

"What's the plan?" Rosalie asked.

"They don't know you, so it's better if you protect the perimeter and we go in," Edward said. "We have reason to be more concerned about Simon," he added glancing anxiously at Ness. She looked horrified, not knowing this before. "Together we can contain this. We just need to watch for more, especially the Volturi," he continued. Alice noticed that Bella had gone to her phone when Edward mentioned flights.

"The soonest flight is at ten AM and I just got the tickets; one for each of us," she said suddenly.

"Then you guys should get some rest," Carlisle said to Jake and Ness.

"I don't think I could sleep," Ness said in a burdened voice.

"You guys could stay in our room," Alice offered. Edward went rigid. Jacob blinked. As a general rule, they never slept together. Ness exchanged a look with her aunt, confused but also a warning look not to reveal anything. Alice nodded, instantly redirecting her thoughts.

"Alright, thanks. Goodnight everyone," Ness said, taking Jake's hand and pulling him to the stairs. Jake went along but looked surprised, staring at Alice. Alice chastised Edward mentally for looking sour.

"I didn't want them far," she said. He nodded, conceding to that. Bella was perceptive. Her eyes flicked to Alice. Alice tilted her head and Bella noticed Edward's grouchy expression. Alice nodded. _Yes they are intimate now._ She thought even though Bella couldn't hear her. Bella didn't look unhappy. Just concerned for Edward. She was taking it well. Maybe because she was closer to her daughter, and remembered how she felt at her age. Edward should leave tonight just in case, she thought. Alice raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed.

"Let's go home tonight," he said to Bella. She smiled, took his hand and went with him into the night.


	8. Chapter 8: Welded (Jacob)

***Please be aware that this chapter contains advanced sexual content***

 _Chapter 8: Welded- Jacob_

It smelled strongly of vampire in Alice's room, but it was long since I got used to that smell. I was already on my way to nose blind. I knew I was supposed to be worried, but delicious memories from that night kept tickling me and making my chest hum with warmth. Ness in my arms. The taste of her. The feel of her touching me. My thoughts turned to the bliss of my first sexual encounter with her. There was no sour note. It felt so amazingly good. And she was so loving with me. Better than I ever could have imagined. Already, I wanted more, but I wouldn't dare pressure her tonight. This had already been such a huge jump. I gulped, feeling uneasy suddenly. What were the expectations now? We never discussed it. It wasn't the time though. Ness shut the door but didn't turn on a light. Our vision was excellent, being supernatural beings.

She moved to me and hugged me, caressing my chest. I never did pull on a shirt. Maybe her thoughts were similar to mine. "Jake," she whispered and I heard it there in her voice. Lust. I lifted her up to kiss her on the mouth, not thinking. She wrapped her arms around my neck then her legs around my stomach. I moved to the wall and pressed her against it. She gasped and started kissing my neck. She lowered herself so she could grind her body into me, and I felt an incredible warmth radiate from the point of contact. She clutched my shoulders and pressed herself against me so I could feel her fluttering heartbeat. I carried her to the bed and laid her down. I held myself over her, kissing her passionately and threading my fingers in her sweet soft hair. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She smelled of roses and baby's breath. I paused suddenly aware that everyone in the house could probably hear us.

"This may be too loud," I whispered.

"I can't stop. They will let us be. I heard my parent's leave," she said then pulled me in closer to kiss my mouth again. I thought about earlier and realized what should happen this time. It was time for me to try to pleasure her. My stomach squirmed. I never had before, and this was the love of my life. And I wanted to reciprocate. I gulped. Hopefully it wouldn't be too awful for her. I blushed, but she didn't notice, eyes closed. I kissed her forehead and then started to kiss downward deliberately. I kissed her neck and her chest. She touched my arm.

"You can take off my clothes Jake," she said with a seductive smile. My heart stuttered. _Alllright_ , I thought. I gently tugged her shirt up and she helped me pull it off. Her black bra almost put me over the edge. I saw it briefly earlier but finally had a chance to marvel at it more. I realized I was about to see all of her and my heart raced. Gently I reached for the clasp, hands slightly shaking. I took it off and was stunned by her beauty; her complete perfection.

"Babe, you are so beautiful," I managed weakly. She smiled and the smile was loving, a deep happiness instead of surface lust. I caressed and felt her gently and she moaned in pleasure. I leaned down and kissed her skin. God...it was so incredible. I kissed between her breasts and down to her stomach. She squirmed from the ticklish contact. I kissed down to her navel and to her pants. Then I stopped and looked up. She was watching me, a red blush vivid on her pale cheeks and she nodded her approval.

"Everything?" I checked, wondering about her remaining clothes. She nodded. I gulped again. I pulled her pants off and looked at a black bikini, the hottest sight I'd ever seen in my life, I wanted her so badly it was painful. I stroked her perfect legs then her crotch over the underwear. She was warm and very aroused. I leaned down and kissed her over the fabric. "I love you," I whispered, then began gentle circular motions over the fabric. She moaned and twitched. It was obviously right. I pulled her legs apart also, knowing this was a seductive move. I gently reached under her underwear and stroked her for the first time. Warm. Damp. Insanely hot. I pulled her underwear off and gazed upon my naked girlfriend for the first time. "So beautiful." I moaned. She reached forward and ran her fingers through my hair again, eyes bright. I resumed my ministrations and her moans nearly put me over the edge. I read that it required a coordinated effort of different sensations to generate the highest level of pleasure for a woman. I stroked her on the surface. Then took a chance and put my mouth on her and massaged her with my tongue. Again, she tasted so sweet. She cried out softly. I changed the motion to a new pattern.

"God..oh god.." she moaned. I sucked gently then moved back to surface stimulation. "I'm close," she said. I didn't want that. I wanted the pleasure that built.

"Can I feel you?" I asked quietly after disconnecting. She nodded in desire. I hooked my hand up and felt her incredible softness and warmth, pressing gently. I was overcome by how good she felt, wishing I could be connected to her; desire flooded my mind. I returned to the circular motion with one hand and internally stimulated her as well, trying to alternate sensations. She twitched in pleasure, breathing heavy. I tasted her again in combination with my other efforts and it began to put her near the edge.

"Come...come for me," I repeated back to her as she said to me. She gasped and I felt her climax. It was amazing, feeling her body's reaction. Again, I wanted to be with her badly. When her body relaxed, I removed myself slowly. I kissed her stomach then I moved up to her.

"That was the best orgasm ever," she said out of breath. "How did you do that?" she asked.

"I tried," I said simply, kissing her hair. I snuggled down next to her and she turned to me. Smiling, she began her magic on me. After some time, I found ecstasy for the second time that night.

…

In the morning I showered and changed into clothes Alice left out for me. Again perfect for travel and for phasing. I went out into the hall and found Emmett leaning on the wall whistling to himself. He gave me a wicked grin and winked suggestively. I sighed heavily.

"Sleep well?" He asked innocently.

"Like a rock," I replied joining the others in the living room. He guffawed and I felt myself blush. Alice was there, sorting a bunch of duffle bags, all the same but in different colors. She tossed a green and a blue one to me. "What's this?" I asked.

"I have emergency clothes for us always ready," she said. Wow. She was pretty amazing. I carried then back to check on Ness.

" Try to control yourself we're leaving in under an hour," Emmett called laughing, and I gritted my teeth. Good thing Edward wasn't up at the house yet. Ness was awake and getting dressed. I kissed her. She was so beautiful in the morning.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Emergency clothes," I replied. She held up the backpack, and I flinched.

"What's this Jake?" She asked and I heard an edge to her voice.

I sighed, wishing this conversation wasn't about to happen. "Years ago your mother and I had to plan to save you if the confrontation with the Volturi didn't go well. I was supposed to run with you to South America." I said. She looked disturbed.

"Was it really that close?" she asked.

"Yes," I said grimacing. I really didn't want to discuss this with her. It made me feel like aborting our recent plan was a mistake. But there was no help for it. We needed to help our friends.

We loaded the cars, picking more conspicuous ones. Emmett kept shooting me suggestive glances each time her back was turned. I just frowned my disapproval and was pleased I wasn't riding with him.

Emmett and Carlisle were driving. We piled in. I ended up with Bella and Ness in the backseat of Carlilse's car with Edward in the front seat.

I whispered to Bella, "shield," and she blinked then instantly cloaked me. I felt the slight whooshing feeling. She glanced at Ness looking at me dreamily and her expression grew dark. I sighed, pulled out my phone and began typing in an open note.

 _Yes okay but it isn't as bad as you think. I promise I'm being careful, and I'm really not rushing anything. I want her to be happy. It's not about me._ She read it in a moment then I deleted it. She stared and then seemed to accept it with a sigh, not giving me any more looks. I looked up and caught Edward's glare in the rear view mirror, knowing Bella just cloaked me and possibly knowing why. I pretended not to notice and held Ness's hand. My vision suddenly blurred and she was replaying the evening's events for me in vivid detail, my breath caught but I tried to stifle it. My gradually racing heartbeat couldn't have helped. I know Bella cloaked her too because Edward wasn't shouting, but he could hear my heartbeat. He ground his teeth. I dropped her hand to regain control. I had to admit, the stealth was kind of fun, But Bella looked annoyed too and I didn't want her to drop the shield. So I thought about other things in luxury of being heard by no one.

When the time came would I save Ness over Simon if it was necessary? I mean obviously yes, but the guilt would be terrible to bear, and her pain. She might not forgive me, or forget. I hoped that I was able to save both of them and that's why the vision blanked out. The alternative was his certain death, so at least it was a shot in the dark. Literally.

We stopped on the way so I could grab a bathroom break and a snack at a gas station. Apparently being sexually active meant an increased appetite. Hmm. I smiled at the words sexually active. It was annoying being the hold up in a family that never needed to eat or take bathroom breaks. But they always had food for me. Ness didn't like food, so I had taken it upon myself to conduct a private mission trying to find a food she may love. It turned out that Bella's favorites had not been inherited. I hadn't had much luck, although she had conceded that chocolate ice cream was less bad. She even sort of didn't mind coffee, which I found a bit strange. I didn't like it myself.

Back in the car Bella interrupted the silence. "Are we going to communicate the danger to them, so they stay inside with us?" she asked. Great question. No one wanted to kidnap anyone with no explanation.

"I'm not sure how else we can. Danger may be too vague for them though.." Edward hedged. So we all got lost in thought over a danger that made sense.

"Some sort of murderer makes no sense, because it would be on the news," Ness added.

"And there aren't any dangerous animals in Hanover," except me I thought.

"Maybe we say one of us is really sick and we want them to visit, we say it's really bad," Edward added.

"But no one would be once we get there," Carlisle said.

"Maybe at that point we admit we are worried about their safety, maybe we witnessed an attack but haven't reported it yet," Bella said. We nodded in approval.

"What if things go really sideways," Edward added. I cringed. I didn't want him to upset Ness about Simon dying.

"Let's handle it in the moment then," I shot back, giving him an annoyed look and stroking Ness's face. He stared, then gave up and looked forward. Good. I eventually settled into sleep because Emmett was right, I hadn't gotten much. Ness woke me to board the plane. It was a groggy blur, but eventually we were headed for first class. Classically Cullen. I passed out nest to Ness in the comfortable chair. I woke up stiff from must have been hours later to find myself sitting next to Edward not Bella. I sighed heavily. He did this purposefully to have it out with me. I glanced at Ness who was sleeping.

 _What_? I thought grumpily. "I want to talk," he said businesslike with his jaw locked. _Now?_ I asked mentally. "While she's asleep," he replied. I just went for it then. _Edward, she's grown up, I am too._ I said in thoughts, getting impatient. _Did you expect us to never be intimate?_ "I expect you to tread cautiously," he snapped. This set my hands trembling. He had know me better for the past 6 years, and how could he not already know, that when it came to Ness, I was incredibly careful.

"This isn't your business," speaking in distracted rage.

"She's my daughter," he growled.

"That you're smothering. She's making her own choices. I'd never hurt her. I'll always support whatever she wants," I added.

"Maybe she's too young to know what she really wants," he said icily. "You don't know, but the first time Bella and I were together was when she got pregnant. You know what happened, it was a miracle she survived," he said quietly. I didn't need reminding. It was a painful time. The last painful time until now. "I have no idea if you could get her pregnant, but consider that she is growing still, able to change," he finished. And then a very strange thought struck me that momentarily disconnected me from this nonsense conversation. Pregnant? Would Ness ever want to be pregnant? With me? I mean...at this rate I was on my way to wanting to propose in the next few years. But in the next few years...she would stop growing like the other vampires. Like Rosalie...and it would no longer be a choice. Carlisle estimated this was her final year.

So...so...if she ever wanted a child with me...my heart stopped. I looked up at Edward again and his eyes were slightly unfocused, listening to me. _This is beyond what you want now Edward._ I thought. If she ever wanted a baby...well..well it would be around now. I felt a swell of panic. Was I ready to be a father? Did I want to be. The thought was terrifying. But, don't most people realize they want a family. Sam had a child around my developed age. Was it really so wrong?

"But what do you expect the fetus could be like? Can vampire and werewolf DNA mix safely?" Edward whispered. I stared blankly. No. I felt the answer was simply, no. But something Billy said caught my thoughts. He said he thought werewolves imprinted to make stronger offspring. Did that mean, my body knew Ness would give me a strong child? The evidence for the other imprints seemed possible to support the theory. Edward seemed to consider this as well. But would this risk her safety? She was already part vampire unlike Bella. She would be as strong as the child's vampire half. But would the werewolf half harm her? My bite wasn't toxic to her like vampire venom would be toxic to me. We just had strong enough teeth to attack. Nothing to infect. And I doubt a fetus could attack her. We didn't become werewolves until teenage years. Before I was activated, I was just human. I never hurt my mother when I was born.

"Good points," Edward agreed. "But do you think Ness is really ready for that?" he asked.

"Bella did it at her age, pretty much exactly," I countered.

"But that was an accident, and what you're doing could result in the same," he said angrily. I rolled my eyes at him. Was I really going to have to explain to him that I was going to wear protection when I finally did this? I mean jesus, how little did he think of me. I glared at him. He looked annoyed. _We're trying to be careful as well, we were alone the first time_. I thought. The strangest look flashed across his face. I almost didn't catch it. Guilt. Wait, had he heard it that night? I thought mortified. He sighed heavily.

"Wonderful," I said, but the venom was less convincing when my voice caught on the word. "Don't tell Ness," I said disgusted.

"Look, I didn't mean to. I was trying to find you with Alice that night. I left immediately," he said defensive. So he really had heard my first..I cut off the thought. And felt the strangest hot feeling in my throat. I realized, I was upset. And it surprised me.

"Thanks a lot," I said and I heard it in my voice too.

"It was only a moment, I'm sorry," he said and for the first time, he sounded sincerely apologetic. I ignored it. I suddenly felt the shield. Bella put it back. She was obviously listened and must have heard the tone of my voice. Edward felt it too.

"She understands we're of age. She probably compares it to how you two were when she was 18," I said.

"I will take...time," he grudged.

"Im not well...rushing." I said. Flinching that I needed to be so specific. Now they would know, well, everyone would know we weren't having intercourse. I was eager to end this incredible shitshow of a conversation. Edward nodded to himself, liking this information.

"So is Ness getting the talk too?" I asked childishly. But he was treating me like a baby. How could he think I wouldn't use protection?

"Bella will," he said evasively.

"Coward," I muttered. He nodded in agreement. I thought for a moment about his anger. Was it really about condoms. At the end of the day I didn't think he thought I was that stupid. If not, what else could it be. I pondered over it until I suddenly realized.

"Are you joking?" I said in outrage. "This is because it's out of wedlock? It's the 21st century." I said.

"I'm old fashioned," he said, guarded.

"Well, it was her choice," I spoke clearly. It was silent. "That's right, I didn't instigate anything," I said smugly, then turned and my smile slipped off my face when I saw Ness awake and glaring at me. Oh shit. "I mean, no that's not true, it was my idea.." I tried lamely. Her eyes narrowed. I covered my face. Huge fuck up. It was so impulsive. Immediately I felt so low for having done it. I knew there had to be fierce apologies later. I sneaked a peak and saw her glaring at Edward. It was clear her thoughts were heavy. He looked sheepish. She jumped up and stalked away without a word. After a few moments, Jasper joined us.

"She wanted to sit with Alice," he said. He glanced at me then I felt peace seep into me, easing my anguish.

"Thanks," I sighed, still feeling crappy somewhat. "We're in trouble," I added for Edward.

"Me more than you," Edward said.

"I don't know what everyone's problem is," Jasper said. "It seems normal to me," he looked a little bored.

"I don't have one," I said bitterly. This was all his fault. He should have left it alone. But that last part was mine, I conceded guiltily.

"She's not speaking to me," Edward said.

"What about me?" I asked.

"Not sure, she's cloaked," he said. Bella seemed to have taken her side.

"My advice is to let her be. That's usually what Alice wants," Jasper suggested. Alright. We had a mission anyway. I struggled to put it from my mind.

"Once we get them to the house, what are we going to do about the vamp?" I asked. Edward seemed eager to join in.

"I think some of us should stay with them in the house. Some should establish a perimeter, and I think we want a hunting party." I honestly wanted to be in the hunting party, but knew I wanted to stay with Ness, and she wouldn't be doing that.

"When?" I asked.

"Tonight if we can," Edward replied. I felt dread. Not for myself, but for the humans and half humans in our lives.

"I'd like to keep Ness away," I whispered, not wanting to anger her more. Edward considered.

"Separated or under heavy guard with us?" He asked. He had a good point.

"Be ready to run if we get ambushed," Jasper suggested. He looked unhappy and I knew it was because he didn't want to risk Alice. Edward's expression was similar. No one could stash their woman away. We were going together.

"Ness I'm sorry. I was so stupid," I said in a semi loud voice. She could hear. She didn't reply. It was worth a try.

...

We drove through the backroads of New Hampshire. Ness elected to ride in the other car, not a good sign. There was a sudden buzz of a phone. Edward glanced down to read it. "No," he said.

"What?" Carlisle asked urgently.

"Bram, he can't find Simon, he's wondering if he's with us." Edward dialed and spoke, "Any visions?" It sounded like she said no. He hung up. He glanced at me and I knew I was the reason why. It continued to confirm that I was directly involved. "In three's we search the campus," he added to us.

"Ness obviously," I said claiming her.

"Take Jaz," Edward added. He didn't look pleased. He wanted to go with Alice. When we arrived, I could tell from the weather that snow was imminent. It added to my feeling of urgency. Edward, Alice, Esme, and Carlisle took off followed by Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Bella. Each team had someone who could identify them. I knew Edward put me with Jasper because we were the best fighters. We moved fast but not too conspicuous as we combed the campus. We checked our frequented cafe and half an hour later had covered the English and theatre buildings. I couldn't pick up Simon's scent. I tried to think of where else we spent time together. It came to me. The soccer field.

"Come on," I said indicating in the right direction. I matched my pace to Ness's. She grabbed my hand _. Be careful, please_. She begged me in a thought. I squeezed her hand. "You too," I spoke. Ten minutes later we crashed through the trees and jumped the fence. The smell hit me like a wall the moment I saw her. She was beautiful, blonde, dressed in tattered clothes, eyes bright red. She had Simon in a headlock. He struggled feebly.

"Simon," Ness moaned. I wondered If I was seeing Alice's vision. I moved forward unthinkingly.

"I'd stop," She said lazily. Something hit me square in the chest. I felt a rib break. I flew backward into the fence. I almost phased, but held it back. It wasn't time yet. Another being appeared from the woods. I got up, ignoring the healing pains in my chest. The other woman's arm was extended, she had hit us with a kind of force field. I listened and my mouth fell open in shock. Under the sounds of Simon's racing heart, my heart, and Ness's fluttering beats, I heard the same fluttering from this woman. Was she?

"What do you want," asked Jasper. He had stood back up too. I glanced at Ness and she seemed unharmed. She turned to face me.

"Master wants the human that travels with the Cullens...he is special somehow.." she said in a seductive voice. Ness gasped. Master? Then this was the Volturi after all. _Edward_! I started screaming in my head. _Edward_! I did again, concentrating on the force of the thought. I had no idea if he heard me. Another half vampire, a man, emerged as well. His hair was tangled and his wild red eyes locked on Renesmee. He had a look of hunger on his face. I slipped in front of her.

"Surrender or he dies," she snarled constricting his windpipe so he started to choke. I looked at Ness and her eyes were full of tears.

"No...no Jake," she begged. At that moment I felt a familiar swooping sensation. Bella's shield. I fought a smile. This almost certainly would have a chance at protecting me from the other force field. I glanced at Jasper. He nodded, indicating he felt it too.

"It's okay," I told her significantly raising my eyebrows. She read my face. Trust me. I mouthed. She stared. I turned back. They all must be out there, and they had us covered. I started forward as Simon thrashed.

"J...ake.." he choked in protest. Ness sobbed once. It tore at my heart. _It's okay baby,_ I thought even though she couldn't hear me. When I was ten feet out I did it. I jumped and in an instant ripped from my human form. I flew into the space between us, in full wolf form, teeth bared. No wall stopped me. The blonde stared in terror, no time to move. _You're mine_ , I thought in triumph and hit her, feeling like I smacked into concrete. My teeth sunk into her throat, and I shook her like a rag doll, Simon falling to the ground. She couldn't claw free. Then Edward was there, ripping her to pieces. I registered that Jasper ran for the other female, who couldn't understand why her powers were dead. Ness didn't move into my vision so I figured someone was stopping her, good. I spit out the disgusting bleach-tasting shards. Edward's head shot up and I saw his pupils dilate. He flung himself forward. Simon screamed. My heart stopped. Was he dead? I saw a blur and the male half breed flew through the air. Alice arrived, I could smell her. The half breed didn't stand a chance as I heard Emmett smashing like a boulder, following her in. Ness dashed forward, frightened. Carlilse appeared at my side. Simon writhed on the ground clutching his arm. I hoped it was only broken. My heart sank. A clear bite mark was on his arm. Carlisle kneeled next to him and checked him for more injuries.

"His heart is strong," he said. Edward came back, his face devastated. _Is it too late_? I thought.

"Yes," he said grimly. "Ness...Ness.." he called to her quietly. She was holding his hand. She looked back crying. "You need to explain, give him the choice," he said in a pained voice. She sobbed wiping her face. I wanted to phase back to hold her but I had no clothes.

"Si..can you hear me?" she asked. He writhed, not registering. She held his face. "Si...honey?" she said louder. He looked at her, face twisted in agony, glasses askew. "That's it.." she said in a soothing, shaking voice. She reached forward, and I know she was dabbing tears off his face. "I know, I know honey. I know it's the worst pain. I'm so sorry," she managed.

"W..what.." he choked.

"I'll tell you," she said voice catching. "You are changing into one of us. The bite did it. If the change runs its course, you'll stop aging," she said stroking his hair as he shook on the cold ground. He didn't understand, I could tell.

"Edward is 100 years old roughly," she said, and his eyes bugged. She wiped more tears away.

"No.." he moaned.

"Yes. I'm only 7 years, I grew quickly, but I'm different from Edward and Bella. I can explain later, I promise." she glanced at me. "Jake isn't like one of us, he's different. he won't hurt you," she comforted. To demonstrate I sat down. "We're all not aging though, we will stay this way forever," she said. He looked like he thought we were crazy.

"You saw what happened. What other explanation is there for the super speed and strength. Or thier icy touch?" she asked. "There's not much time," she said pulling him so she held part of him in her lap. "You need to decide if you would rather die now. You won't burn any longer. You won't need to be immortal. Alternatively, you could let the venom spread for three days. The burn will stop, and you'll be 18...forever," she said, tears on her face. He looked so confused.

"We drink blood...animal blood to survive. We don't sleep, ever," she said, referring to her vampire parents. "We will help you adjust, but you'll look very different. You may never be able to see your loved ones again," she said stroking his cheek, continuously crying. I moaned softly at her pain. "They can't know the secret...it's dangerous for them," she said. He looked at her and I could see he was finally growing to accept her story.

"Bram...Bram.." he cried. She looked at her father. Knowing full well his love for a human worked out in the end.

"It might work Simon. We will have to tread carefully, but you may see Bram again, once you have adjusted to the new life," she said squeezing his hand. "You can live with us, we will take care of you. We will keep Bram safe. We promise," she added. "We love you," she sobbed the words. "If you choose to transform, we will accept this choice and not listen to you during the pain. It will end. It won't last forever. If you'd like to die, we honor your choice also," she said kissing his forehead.

"Bram...Bram...I can't leave him.." he cried miserably, jerking violently in pain.

"Could he accept you this way?" Carlisle asked him gently. Simon squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. "Is this your choice?" Carlilse asked carefully.

"How..how long will I burn.." he gasped.

"3 days," Carlilse said grimly. "We understand, we've all lived it," he added compassionately. I felt warmth on my face and realized they were tears.

"Then...I'll never die?" he asked.

"Yes," Edward answered, crouching on his other side, eyes tormented. "But Bram will..." he said gently, making the most painful part of this clear. Simon looked at him, and I could tell he was understanding Edward's old pain.

"But," Alice spoke. "If Bram wants this life, after he finds out what happened, we can change him as well," she said. "But it's his choice," she said calmly.

"He may not want it," Ness said.

"Bella changed to be with me," Edward said. "I met and fell in love with her when she was human. It was...dangerous for her, but it was what she wanted," he said, glancing back, and for the first time in this endless moment I registered Bella, and could tell she was crying in her vampire body; no tears. "She's happy," he whispered, smiling for the first time.

"18...forever.." Simon moaned.

"Yes," everyone said together except me. He closed his eyes.

"Yes," he said. Edward turned to Rosalie, who had arrived with Esme.

"Do you want to tell him your story?" He asked. She nodded and came forward. I knew it already, so I drifted back. Alice and Jasper stood a little way back.

"We were too late," Alice spoke. I sat on the ground, unable to respond. "I couldn't see the ambush because of the part vampires. It looks like Aro is using them to slip past my visions. Probably why he wants you," she added. My hair stood up, outraged by the notion. Jasper looked over, then sent a wave of calm energy. It helped dim the rage. A few minutes later I saw Edward nod and pick up Simon, who was twitching in pain. I suddenly smelled smoke. I turned and saw Emmett lighting a pile of remains. It wasn't taking long to catch.

"Back to the house," said Bella grimly. The others moved more quickly, but Ness and I walked slowly with Edward. Ness wound her hand into my fur, very comforting. She sent no thoughts, probably in shock. I was hurt to see she was still crying. She was very compassionate, and after me and her parents, Simon was her best friend. I couldn't phase to hold her and it weighed on me. We kept clear of the roads to avoid being seen. Simon moaned and writhed. Ness held his hand. I wondered what it felt like to burn. No one ever described it. As far as I knew, Bella didn't even remember. Nor did Alice. It sounded like pure hell.

The house was lit when we got home. Emmett left shorts for me on the porch, bless him. I went inside last after phasing. Edward had carried Simon to the couch and laid him down. Ness was sitting next to him.

"Bram..." he moaned, wanting him. "Please." I felt so bad. He couldn't open his eyes, his jerking never stopped. Someone had put his glasses aside.

"I'm sorry..." Ness cooed. "I'm sorry that we can't get Bram yet, honey. Soon..." she lied. Best to comfort him now and deal with the aftermath later. Bella brought Ness a damp cloth and she dabbed his face.

"Bram," he cried, obviously the pain had increased from before, if he couldn't follow what she was saying. I wondered morbidly at what point his ability to cry would vanish. Midway or at the end? I sat down next to Ness and nuzzled her gently, stroking her hair. She was a mess.

"Shh," she said gently dabbing his face. "Shhh, it's okay." Bella sat on the other side and took his hand. He squeezed it tightly in agony. Her face was pinched like she wanted to cry again. Edward sat on the floor by his feet. "I know, I'm so sorry, I'm here Simon. Right here," Ness said, keeping up the comfort. His lucidity started to dip out, preoccupied by the burning. I was grateful I never needed to know the pain. I held Ness's free hand. She was so distraught over his pain, and divide from Bram, and loss of his life. She was showing me her thoughts. I kissed her hand, at a loss for anything. Later when he lost the ability to respond completely, Carlisle said he would watch over him. I was desperate for Ness to rest. Her eyes were red and swollen. Edward and Bella flitted away, holding hands. Alice and Jasper were sitting on the couch. Esme, Rose, and Emmett had left to hunt. Preparing for the upcoming days.

I gathered Ness in my arms and sought my room in the house. I sat her down softly on the bed and shut the door. I felt so devastated for her pain. Powerless. I kneeled in front of her and stroked her hair. "Baby, I'm so sorry," I whispered. "What can I do?" I asked quietly.

"Come here," she moaned. I got up and climbed into the bed, laying back on the pillows. She climbed into my lap and I held her close against my bare chest. She rested her head over my heart. I kissed her hair. I wanted her to sleep.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked. She shook her head. She showed me an image of Bram, frantic. "Ness we may be able to help him. Bella met Edward and fell in love when she was human. It's possible," I said holding her tighter. "Want to sleep, honey?" I whispered, hoping she would. "I'll hold you all night," I said.

"No," she said in a strange voice. I couldn't understand the tone. Strangled but also...she stroked her hand down to between my legs.

"Ohh," I moaned, shocked. I felt myself stir. "Ness...why?" I asked weakly, so taken aback by this. She touched me more and I lost my breath.

"I'm upset, I want the closeness. I want to lose myself in you," She said kissing my chest. "Unless you think it's unfair. We don't have to," her touch disappeared. I thought about it and realized how much I wanted it too.

"It's okay," I said pulling her up to me and kissing her neck. She turned and kissed my mouth, connecting her tongue to mine. I felt such a desperation in each kiss. Rarely did she start so passionately with me. There was need so much more than desire. She never kissed me like that. She pulled herself down and straddled me. I was surprised by how much she commanded what was happening. I wanted her, and my body responded. I thought about what I should do tonight. It made sense to pleasure her again. I reached down to touch her but stopped as she pulled my shorts off with no warning. The next second I gasped as I felt her mouth on me. It was rougher than before, but I liked it. I felt an entirely different longing for her this time. _Holy god_ , I thought as she experimented with different movements. It felt so so good. I felt myself quickly build. "Ness..."I warned, not knowing if she wanted this yet. She stopped and I felt the pain of wanting her to continue, but I wanted to pleasure her first. I reached down to pull her up to me so I could touch her but she resisted. I stopped and sat up. I felt less secure about what to do this time. Emotions were running hot and wild. She leaned down and slipped one of my balls in her mouth. I jumped. She did not do that last time. It felt good in a different way. Like a glowing ember instead of a burning flame. Ticklish and amazing. "Oh god, Ness.." I managed leaning my head back as she did the other. She stroked me while she did this and I could barely hold back. I held my breath, trying to. I didn't want to go this fast, I wanted to slow down. Then she stopped and got out of bed. I blinked and looked around for her. She had gone over to her blue travel bag.

"Jake," she said after and I looked at her. She was completely naked. My jaw dropped. "Are you okay?" she asked. I didn't understand. Of course I was. She held something up. It was a condom package, glinting in the dim light. My heart stopped in my chest.

"N..Ness," I said suddenly very anxious. Her expression changed. She came forward.

"Baby, it's okay if you aren't ready. There's no pressure honey," she said stroking my leg. My mind was blank. I'd waited years for this. Imagined it. But always held back because I knew it was right.

"Well..." I said in a tight voice. I felt myself lose my excitement. The suddenness of the emotion through me off.

"Do you want to go slow, stop if it's too much?" she asked climbing into bed and touching my parted lips. She looked concerned. I felt a cold sweat start. But wouldn't this have always been my reaction to losing my virginity? How strange how she was so much more relaxed and composed than me. But I wasn't sure. "I love you, for me It's making love," she cooed.

"Me too," I said quickly.

"Are you afraid?" she asked stroking my hair.

"Yes. I want to get it right," I admitted, bearing my soul.

"Nothing you would do would be wrong honey," she said stroking down my stomach. I felt almost an electric current of desire. I realized I wanted to try the first time she asked to make love to me.

"Alright, slow," I said striving to find a calm I didn't feel.

"That's fine," she said smiling. I gulped and she moved up to kiss my mouth, a lot more gently, lingering with each touch. She was trying to bring me back. She pressed her breasts lightly into my chest, pushing me down onto the bed, and I felt jumpstarted. I wanted her. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," I returned, voice steady. She moved down. I wanted to sit up but felt frozen lying back. Maybe it was better just to feel. She kissed and touched me and got my full arousal back. I moaned blissfully, hoping against hope the vampires were studiously ignoring us, because there was no stopping this now.

"Still okay?" she asked kissing my leg.

"Yeah," I replied, feeling still slightly on edge.

"Okay, you'll feel this," she said opening the condom. I closed my eyes, not understanding the anxiety I felt. She slipped it on me. It felt weird. I'd have to get used to it. She put lube on me too, and I shivered slightly. "You'll need to try and hold off so I can and then you can, but if you can't hold off it's alright," she said. I felt slightly mortified, hoping that wouldn't happen. She climbed up on me and the feeling of her pressing against me wiped my mind blank. "You can push when you're ready," she said kissing my stomach. I shivered. Then I did it and felt warmth and tightness. It took my breath away, feeling so good. I was worried I was hurting her. I pushed more so and connected with her all the way.

"Did I hurt you?" I gasped.

"No, it's fine," she said, but there was a note in her voice that tipped me off that it did slightly. But that was to be expected generally. I wasn't sure what I should do next to cause the least amount of pain. I slid my hands up to stroke her legs, lost in the sensation of being inside her. The closest I'd been to anyone. I thought she wanted me to act next. I pulled on her legs and rocked inside her and slipped a hand in front to stimulate her on the surface. She moaned and I could tell it felt good. She moved to meet me and the feeling of that started to get me to begin to want to come. I held it back, using all my concentration to do so. She pushed harder liking the friction. I gasped, lost in the moment of making love to her. Blissfully she climaxed, which was good because I couldn't hold on. She let me thrust more which resulted in a hot slow build and eventually I did climax, the best orgasm I ever had in my life. It knocked me breathless and the good feeling lingered on a lot longer each time she moved slightly to prolong my pleasure. I let out an almost pained moan and felt myself twitch, body tingling in waves of ecstacy. I couldn't believe how good it felt. Slowly she disconnected from me. And I felt her take the condom off. I was sort of floating as she moved up beside me. I wrapped my arms around her kissing her neck. Caressing her breasts. I know she liked to sleep in my t shirts. I slipped out of bed and brought one over to her. She looked blissed out, ready to sleep. I helped her put it on and moved her to lie across my chest. I kissed her hair.

"You are so good at sex. I want you everyday," I whispered. She grinned.

"You as well. You're mine," she said in a possessive smug voice.

"I always was," I said, closing my eyes.

"But now everything is. Your body is mine. And it's glorious," she said stroking my chest. I felt a swell of emotion and my throat felt hot. I just had sex for the first time. And none of it was bad… Well for me.

"Did it hurt at all?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah, somewhat, but that's normal I think," she replied.

"I'm sorry," I said instantly feeling bad.

"No we needed to do it. It should feel better soon." She said.

"Okay, let me know if you ever need me to stop, you know I will," I said gently. She looked at me, smiling peacefully and kissed my lips softly, as if exploring them for the first time. Eventually she pulled away and rested her head on a pillow.

"Alright, goodnight.. Love you," she said and I felt her start to drift.

"I love you too." I said.

…

The next morning was a bit of a shock. She unexpectedly joined me in the shower, I ended up making out with her against the wall, and eventually she wanted to have sex yet again. It was like a switch was flipped. Good thing she came prepared. I ended up making love to her from behind against the shower wall.. It was simply amazing, morning sex. She looked incredible. Her body was incredible. And I had a lot of stamina.

Insanely, we had sex again in the bedroom right after, still wet from the shower. It was becoming addictive. We couldn't get enough. I thought the sex was a sort of medicine to her stress and worry. She was blocking it out. So was I. But we needed to come down from the high.

The next morning the drop from the high was like extreme whiplash. It was ugly and awful. I immediately felt extremely guilty for taking pleasure in any form when Simon was in hell. I know we did it as escapist behavior, but still. I felt so bad. He was still writhing on the couch, Esme sitting next to him. Ness looked just as pained and repentant as we settled down next to him. He managed to talk to us for a little while about what was happening, but it was a real struggle for him to get words out. Ness was quietly talking to him again after a half hour.

"Si..I'm sorry," she murmured, dabbing his face.

"Ness please, I want Bram.." he barely got out.

"Simon…" she said quietly, looking upset and out of answers. I moved forward, feeling helpless as well. He looked up at me.

"Jake..Jake..you know Bram. He's worried sick...he'll be crazy not knowing. He won't...he's not," he broke off, looking unable to get anything else out. I thought about Ness, and I knew that if I were in his place, I'd be worried about her freaking out too. I wouldn't be able to rest. I reached forward and patted his shoulder. Then I turned and walked over to Edward. He adjusted his gaze to me from Simon.

 _He's not a vampire yet. He's not dangerous. I think we should bring Bram to him before he turns. It's his last chance for what could be a long time. You even said it could be years. He's going to want to reach out soon no matter what. So Bram will have it explained either way._ I thought. He looked at me and I could see he was weighing the danger of this plan.

 _I'll phase. I'll get him to come. He loves Simon, he's not about to go to the police about him. You know that._

"I mean, I suppose there's something to that," he answered. I glanced back at Ness and knew Edward would tell her where I was going. I looked across the room and my eyes rested on Bella. I saw her looking at me and I could tell she was trying to follow our exchange.

"Come on Bells," I said, and as I moved to the door, she followed me without question, knowing I would explain. The others let us go. It was wrong not to help him with this. We owed him.

When we arrived at Bram's door I could hear him inside. The heartbeat was sped up, he was in distress. I knocked. Bella stood beside me looking worried. Bram answered.

"Oh my god, guys, thanks for coming, I'm in a panic," he said. He ushered us in. We followed, shutting the door.

"Edward told us you're having trouble finding Simon, we wanted to help," Bella said.

"I...I can't explain this," Bram said, looking a little crazed and exhausted. "Simon would never disappear like this. It's been two days for god's sake, and we talk everyday. I can't reach him on his phone. We didn't fight or anything. I'm going to go to the police next, what if something terrible has happened," he finished looking close to tears. It was clear in his face he had already shed some in fear.

"Alright, let's go before we call. Just to make sure, where do you want to start?" I asked. He got his coat and eagerly led us out.

"I guess let's take the campus again," he said. We did, and as we did, knowing it wouldn't amount to anything, I tried to think of where to lead him next, to phase and tell him the truth.

"Have you tried the soccer field?" Bella asked.

"I cannot imagine why he would be there, but what do we have to lose?" said Bram tiredly. I felt very bad for him. It was a great idea on Bella's part. When we got there, I picked up Simon's scent faintly again.

"Oh!" Bram cried out and I jumped. He ran over to Simon's backpack, left on a bench that none of us noticed. "This is bad, he'd never leave this...I think he was taken…" said Bram voice shaking badly.

I cleared my throat. How on earth was I going to start explaining this? "Bram...we have to tell you about something. It can't wait," I said, my voice sounding odd. He looked over at me looking confused.

"You mean we need to keep looking?" he said.

"Bram," I said. "I'm not exactly like you, and the only way to explain is to show you. I'm sorry it's so abrupt," I said awkwardly. Then I started to take off my clothes, and Bram's jaw dropped, completely thrown by this. As soon as they were off, I phased quickly, feeling the familiar rush of heat. Bram screamed, tipping backward, and falling down into the snow. Bella rushed to his side in case he tried to make a run for it.

Bella gripped his shoulder and spoke urgently. "It's still Jake, Bram. He's the same, and he would never hurt you," she assured quickly. In answer to that I sat down. He stared, catatonic.

"Obviously, this is a supernatural being," Bella continued. "We do walk among you," she said and he snapped his head to look at her. "I am as well, but I am different from Jake," she said, eyes looking strained.

"W..what are you?" he asked. She avoided the question.

"Bram, we need to go. It's about Simon," she said.

"Oh god…" he said looking weak. "Oh god...please...tell me what happened..is he okay?" he asked, tears springing to his eyes.

"He's alive, and I'll explain the best I can on the way," She said and started leading us back to the car. Bram followed as if in a trance.

"Who we are...as you can probably tell, Edward and myself aren't normal," she said. Bram kept up, paying close attention.

"No..no, I've always thought that," he said. I followed in wolf form, knowing I would need to phase back closer to the college.

"We're supernatural...and dangerous. Not bad. But very dangerous to...humans," she saood flinching.

"You're not human?" Bram asked, stupefied.

"No. Some of my kind, don't value human life...and they kill them," she said. He looked faint.

"One of our kind came to the school looking for us, but tracked the scent in. We spend a lot of time with you…" she said breaking off.

"Are you saying...one of your kind took Simon?" he moaned.

"Yes. We rushed to save him and we did. But we weren't completely successful," she said stopping and turning to him. He stopped walking.

"Is he hurt? Please Bella, tell me," he begged. I phased back and pulled my clothes on. Bram jumped, shocked. I nodded to him calmly.

"Bram, really, it's okay. I'm safe. I'm actually a shapeshifter. I take the form of a wolf," I said.

"It's...it's a lot to take in," he said sounding overwhelmed. Tell me about it.

"In a way, yes, Simon is hurt, but he will be fully healed," Bella said evasively. We moved across the street, closing in on the car near the campus. Bram looked slightly relieved.

"Okay, so my kind needs blood to survive. We don't eat. Actually, the blood we drink is animal blood. We hunt in the woods for deer. Animals humans also eat," Bella said. He looked perplexed. "But the kind that don't value human life, they drink human blood," she said reluctantly.

"So...like vampires, or something?" said Bra, grasping for straws.

" Yes..that's what they are Bram," I said steadily. He looked at me and his face drained of color.

"You...you're joking, you have to be.." he moaned. I looked at Bella and she looked back. She probably had to do something to show him. When we got to the car, she reached down, got a safe hold on it and lifted it up like it was nothing. Bram gaped at her, then she set it back down. "H..how is that even possible?" he whispered. Bella set the car down, then opened the door for him and he got in. I got behind the wheel and Bella got in the front seat. She turned around to look at Bram.

"We have many abilities that are supernatural. Super speed. Super strength. We don't need oxygen or sleep. Our skin is impenetrable. And...we're immortal. Like the stories about vampires. But garlic or silver or whatever does not pose harm to us. We don't turn into bats either," she said. He couldn't respond. He just looked at her. "We have additional abilities, or, some of us do. Edward can actually hear thoughts. My sister Alice has visions of what is to be. I can protect the minds of whoever I like," she said.

"Hear ...thoughts?" he asked blankly.

"Yes. When we were home in Washington, my sister had a vision that Simon would be in danger, and that is why we rushed back," she said.

"So tell me more about that please, it's killing me, what happened to Simon?" he asked. We were almost there, we had to get to the punch linie soon, otherwise I'd drive once around the block.

"Our kind comes about by the spreading of our venom. It's transferred through bite. If a vampire attacks a human but doesn't drink all their blood, the venom spreads through the body, and after three painful days, the person is a vampire. Leaving their human life behind," she said, and I could hear in her voice that she would be close to crying if she was still human.

"Wait…" Bram said, voice catching. "You're saying the other vampire, the one that kills people, he...he bit Simon," he looked like he was going to faint.

"I'm so sorry Bram...yes. Yes he did. We asked Simon if he wanted to live as a vampire, explaining what it meant. We also said that he could die if he wanted to. But he told us he couldn't leave you, and so he would become a vampire. It saved his life," Bella said. Bram put his head between his knees and gasped in what obviously was an anxiety attack. Bella looked at me looking upset. I stared at the road, feeling a frog in my throat. After Bram regained his breathing, he asked in a quiet voice, "Are you taking me to see him?" I looked at him in the rear view mirror.

"Yes, were going to our house," I said.

"Is ...is he a vampire?" he asked in a dead tone. I looked at him, worried he was going to faint.

"Not yet, he has another day roughly," I said.

"You said it was painful," he said turning to Bella. "Simon is in pain?"

She looked heartbroken. "Yes Bram, right now he is. We all went through it, although not Jake or Ness. They are different from us, but still supernatural. We can explain more later.

"What...what are we going to do now?" Bram said, and I saw tears running down his face.

"Simon told us he wants to live like us, to drink animal blood. We said we would help teach him. It's going to take time. When vampires are new, it is almost impossible for them not to be tempted by human blood. And you saw how strong we are. He loves you, but his natural instinct will take over. We need to keep him away from you, until it is safe. It takes time to learn, before you can live among humans," she said comfortingly.

"So..so I'll see him eventually?" he said.

"Yes, you can see him today because he's still human. And after that, we will reunite you when he has adjusted. But we don't know how long that could take. It could be from weeks to months or even longer," she said apologetically. Bram looked upset, be I could see it was sinking in. He was accepting it.

"Simon isn't going to age. He'll be 18 forever?" he confirmed.

"That's correct. Edward is 17 forever. I'm 18," she said. "Remember, Jake isn't a vampire, but he's not aging either. We estimate that his development is in his 20s or so," she said. "Ness is different too and she is about 17. In a year, she will stop aging," she finished.

"Does Simon know all of this, did you explain?" he asked, and I could see the original shock was wearing off somewhat.

"Yes, and he's been asking for you. He feels terrible that you've been worried. It's why we came to find you," I answered. Bram looked slightly comforted by this.

"What can I do now? I'm not going to go back to class without Simon. I just...can't imagine that while this is happening.." he said looking at his hands.

"It's possible you could go back with some of our family to our house in Washington. That way you can learn more in a safe place. Our family has lived amongst humans for years, you would be perfectly safe. We will bring Simon home there when he is ready," she said. He nodded thoughtfully. "At least you can see him tonight," she whispered.

"But I can't stay long, because he's going to be changing soon?" he confirmed.

"At this point, it should be tonight," Bella answered. I pulled up to the house. "Our other family is here from Washington. They are also vampires, but they do not hunt people and are perfectly safe. They came to help us save Simon. Ness is in there as well,' she said before getting out of the car. Bram took a deep breath and followed. He was really brave, I gave him credit for that. I thought and followed them in.


	9. Chapter 9: Burning (Simon)

_Chapter 9- Burning- Simon_

I was dead. No doubt. I had no other thought, only I wished they still could kill me. The pain was unbelievable, so surreal and painfully sharp. I felt each blistering tongue of flame. Hell. I was burning in hell. I couldn't remember how I died. It was hard to think about anything other than the pyre. Words, not mine, drifted in and out. I wasn't exactly conscious...in hell. An unconscious dead person? But then I heard the voice again and could understand some of what was said.

"It's almost over," said the voice, female I thought. What was? Hell? I thought that was forever? Then the person asked If I could hear them. I mean, I could, but I couldn't answer. I couldn't exactly find my mouth, or my voice. Was I floating? Sitting? Lying down? Falling? I had no idea. The pain was never ending and so time lost all meaning. I felt a pain in my throat and realized I could talk, because It felt like I might be screaming. I stopped. It didn't help. It just hurt my throat slightly more. I tried to move and I found that I could. I could twist my hands into fists. I felt pressure on one of them. Was someone trying to hold my hand? I opened it and felt my fingers get squeezed again. Was someone in hell with me? All I saw were the red insides of my eyelids. Could I see? I tried opening them, and it was like I was rising from underwater, suddenly the world became clearer, it slid into focus, as if emerging from fog. I saw Ness's face of all people. She must have been talking to me. I was in a white room. It didn't look like I pictured hell to look like. Flaming, like how I felt. Her face was scrunched up in concern, but it didn't look like she was burning also.

"Ness?" I tried saying, and it came out sounding weak and wheezy.

"I'm here Simon," she answered and held my burning hand in both of hers. I looked at it and didn't see any fire there. Just my hand. She touched my face and I only felt slight pressure. The fire burned away the memory of cool touch.

"Are...are we dead?" I thought I said.

"No Simon...we aren't dead. You're going through a transformation," she said and her eyes were sad. Devastated even. I had no idea at all what she meant. A blonde man with a flawless face bent over me. I blinked and was shocked to notice that he resembled Edward in a way. The flawless perfection.

"Simon, my name is Carlisle. I know this is confusing and hellish, and it is hard to concentrate on me, but we will attempt to explain. You won't be in agony for much longer," he assured me. I stared at him stupidly, wondering what much longer meant. A minute or a week. Ness stroked my hair and I looked back at her. How long had I been here. My thoughts drifted and rested on Bram. I felt panic at the thought.

"Bram?" I asked urgently. Maybe he was here in another room and didn't know I was...awake, if that's what you could call it. Ness looked pained.

"I'm sorry Simon, Bram isn't here right now," she said.

"Can..can we get him?" I asked, not understanding why they hadn't yet.

"We can't get Bram right now," she said in a constricted voice.

"Please," I begged. She didn't understand. I needed him. He needed to know where I was. A look of agony crossed her face.

"No, I'm sorry honey, we just can't right now," she said gently and stroked my face. It felt like I might have been crying. I had no idea. Did Bram even know where I was? I wondered. It didn't look like it. For whatever reason I didn't understand, he couldn't know about what was happening to me. What on Earth was happening to me?

"Why?" I pressed, feeling even more tongues of unrelenting flame, I jerked in agony.

"We can't explain this to him right now, he'll be panicked, he won't understand," she said. That would make two of us.

"But, I'm just in pain," I said confused. Aren't loved ones allowed to visit the sick and injured. Was I contagious or something. Probably not because they were all here. Was sick a good word to describe what was happening?

"That's not all, your body...it's changing right now," she said. I felt alarmed. There was movement and I saw Edward move over me next to Ness. Was everyone here?

"You know how my friends and I stand out at school," he said, acknowledging the first thing I thought when I saw him. The staggering unearthly beauty that made no sense. I nodded. "You'll look like us. You're turning into one of us," he said gently. What a supermodel? The burning was making me beautiful? That made no sense. He sighed looking frustrated. Like he was trying to find a delicate way to deal with something difficult.

"We're not exactly...human. We're supernatural beings. Albeit, nice ones. We would never hurt you," he said holding up his hands. Supernatural beings. Okay. Was I actually asleep. Difficult to think that with this pain. This could wake the real dead, which I seemed not to be. Yet. Was I dying? I didn't know. If so, I hoped it would hurry up. I couldn't bear this agony. Not for another minute.

"I know you don't believe me, but you will. Until I can show you evidence, I'm going to explain. We aren't human. We used to be until we transformed, and burned like you are now," he said. Okay. So he knew enough that I was burning. It was hard to explain that one, because I hadn't described my pain to them. Odd indeed. "Once transformed, we have super strength and speed. We have other abilities. We also don't need to eat or sleep anymore. We don't age, which means, we don't die," he said simply. Was he telling me they were immortal. Immortal. Really?

"Yes really," he answered and I blinked rapidly. "I, among my family, am the only one who can hear thoughts. It is one of my supernatural abilities. Ness can send thoughts," he said turning to her. I followed his gaze. She looked burdened but reached out to touch my cheek. Instantly I saw images, but I could also see through them to her face. The image was of someone who looked like me in a classroom. I turned and smiled at her and she sat down next to me. Was this what I looked like to other people? I thought. The image dissapeared.

"You did that?" I croaked.

"Yes, I was showing you my first memory of you," she whispered. Edward drew my attention back to him by clearing his throat.

"We don't eat but we still need something to survive. Blood. It turns out it doesn't matter which kind. We drink animal blood. Like deer. But humans eat deer too, so we don't see it as a problem," he said. Blood drinkers? Okay like...vampires? Blood sucking vampires. They were all very very pale. Edward nodded sadly.

"Yes, that is what we are. Although we don't turn into bats. We have reflections. Garlic doesn't bother us. We don't burst into flame in the sun, but our skin does look crystalline, so really, we can't go in the sun without tipping others off that something is wrong with us. We protect our identity. That's why were really there in the evenings. Ness is not a full vampire, so she can go outside. Jake isn't one at all. We call him a shapeshifter," he said. My head started to spin on top of the pain. I couldn't focus. I felt my lucidity dip, and again thought of Bram. I felt anguished.

"Si...I'm sorry," Ness sighed sadly, dabbing my forehead.

"Ness...please, I want Bram," I managed through a locked jaw.

"Simon," she said quietly, in distress. I noticed a shadow moving and Jake entered my vision. I spoke to him.

"Jake...Jake, you know Bram. He's worried sick...he'll be crazy not knowing," I pleaded. I imagined Bram disappearing for days and the idea made me feel sick. I had to break off. Jake looked upset. I knew he understood, because he would be if this happened to him and Ness. He patted my shoulder then turned away and began talking to Edward quietly. Didn't they understand? I cared less about my situation and more so for Bram's emotional pain. I would be beside myself, terrified, if I couldn't find Bram after two days. I heard Jake say faintly, come on Bells. The the sound of a door closing. I couldn't do anything, but lie there and burn. Again, I wished I could just die. I slipped in and out of understanding, wrapped up in the pain. Things started changing though. I found that I could strangely hear with more accuracy. I could hear them talking from outside the room. How strange. I also felt stronger slightly even though the fire kept me paralyzed in pain. I contemplated my situation, because I had an ability to think more sharply and be aware of the pain almost separately. I couldn't imagine that I was going back to Dartmouth like this. Unless I woke up feeling just as I had, only now instead of going to the dining common, I was going ...hunting? For animals? It sounded so weird to me. But all of this was weird. And what about Bram and I? When I finally saw him again, apparently I would look different. Like Edward and Bella. Could he love me if I were this different? If I wasn't human? Would I hurt him? Was I safe? Automatically, although I wasn't sure how, I knew I wouldn't be. I could feel the strength in me. I would need to be careful. I would need to learn how to be careful. Edward appeared by what must have been a couch, that I was on.

"Simon, if you have any questions about what's going on or about vampires, you can think them and I can answer you if you'd like," he said. In his eyes I could tell that he was desperate to do anything helpful for me.

 _How far away can you hear thoughts? Is it everyone all at once?_ I thought.

"If I'm familiar with someone's mind, I can hear them a bit farther. But I can hear quite a ways away, for example across the campus, I could hear you. Yes I hear everyone. It's like a roar of white noise. If I focus on one voice, it's like turning up the volume on that one person, and the other sounds become white noise," he said.

 _And the rest of you can't hear thoughts?_ I thought.

"No, only myself. However, my sister Alice who is here with us can see visions of the future. But they are subjective. That means that if someone changes their mind about something, the vision changes. She can't see certain things. For example, Jake and other shapeshifters."

 _The future? Are you kidding me?_

"No, it's how we knew you would be in danger. When we were together in Washington, she saw a vision of the blonde vampire killing you, so we rushed back. She didn't kill you because we acted, but we didn't know you would be turned," He said and his eyes looked grave.

"My brother Jasper, her mate, can manipulate the emotions of others. Influencing them one way or another." he said. Wow, that was something, I thought. "Bella can protect her mind and the minds of those around her from other supernatural gifts. For example, a vampire who can make you feel pain," he added. That seemed very useful.

 _What about Ness?_ I thought and also about how it was strange how she wasn't a full vampire.

"Ness can send thoughts through touch as you experienced, but yes she is not a full vampire like myself. Her story is more complicated. She will explain it in good time," he said. Ness was with Bella in another room, talking quietly.

 _Why did this even happen? I know you guys would never hurt me. There was a blonde vampire right? She was a bad one?_ I guessed.

"Yes, she followed out scent in and it led her to you and Bram. She took you to try and manipulate us into giving her something she wanted. It didn't work." He said, a little vague. But I figured if he didn't mention it, it meant that he wasn't going to go into it.

 _So that's what's dangerous about us? We smell human blood? We're predators?_

"Yes, in a way we are the ultimate hunter. Everything about us invites our prey in. How we look, sound, even our smell. And of course our heightened senses and abilities make us the most deadly creatures on this planet," he said, sounding disgusted by his own kind.

 _Wait, so nothing can kill us?_ I thought, weirded out by the idea. Like bulletproof superman?

"Actually, the wolves, the shapeshifters like Jake can do that. But we have made a treaty with that tribe. Jacob is obviously a very close friend, part of this family. As you can see, they wouldn't harm us. They do attack vampires who feed on humans however. And of course we can kill each other," he said and he sounded mildly uncomfortable.

 _So, is it like an instant kill or something?_ I asked morbidly curious with also nowhere to go and nothing to do but burn.

"We need to be incapacitated, then burnt with fire," he said, and I had an inkling he was keeping it simple. It seemed fitting that fire would end our lives. Fire started this vampire life. He nodded along with my thoughts.

 _So, Bram...I can't see him when I'm vampire at first to protect him because I'll want human blood?_ I confirmed, incapable of imagining such a scenario.

"Yes, but we all went through it and have found a way to train ourselves to ignore the instinct. Eventually, you can mix with humans and resist the urge to harm them, as long as you stay reasonably nourished off of animal blood," he replied.

 _And it's not something you learn immediately._

"It's different for different vampires. It took Bella a week. No even. But we suspect this is part of her supernatural ability. It took my brother Jasper years to figure it out. Myself as well. We have no way of knowing, we will do our best to teach you quickly, and of course, there are so many of us, you won't have accidents. But you will be much much stronger than us tomorrow," he said. And with a jolt I realized how soon this was all happening.

 _Why on Earth would I be stronger than you?_ I asked feeling stupefied.

"Because a new vampire still has their own human blood in them, which gives them extra strength the first few months of this life," he said, and I guessed that made sense in this crazy not-making-sense-at-all impossible scenario.

 _So once I learn, I can see Bram._ I thought, frustrated that we had to live apart.

"Yes, it should work. It depends on if he can accept what we are, who you are. I feel as though if we all reason with him, especially Jake who isn't a vampire, we can convince him."

 _Bram loves me, and I don't think it matters to him what form I come in._ I thought, though I felt a prick of doubt and fear.

"It never mattered to Bella," he said with a faint smile. "She took me as I was, loved everything about me, and now we are equals," he said. I felt confused. What did he mean? "I met Bella when she was human. We fell in love and she learned what I was. After a year of being together, I asked her to marry me. Later, due to extreme circumstances, I needed to change her into a vampire to save her life. But she knew early in our relationship that she wanted to be a vampire too. And she has never regretted it. She's happy," he said. I thought about this interesting story. I sensed I wasn't supposed to ask about the circumstances. Maybe I would find out later. But she decided to become one, which seemed odd. "It is," he said. "The rest of us never had a choice. We were turned by others or my father Carlilse turned us to save our lives. We were dying. I myself of spanish influenza," he said.I was also attacked and had no choice. But Bram... would Bram act as Bella did? Would he want a vampire life?

"This is a difficult and complex thing," Edward said, and I noted a heavy sadness in his voice. "It's difficult to be with a human. They are so breakable. They age. Eventually, he would age past you, and you can never change. Bella feared being an old woman with me. I told her I didn't care but she couldn't fathom it. She wanted to be changed around the same age as me," he said. I thought about Bram. That would mean he would want to this year or the following year, if he wanted to be my age too. But how could I ask him to go through this? To burn and give up so much? It seemed like an incredible sacrifice.

"Yes. I didn't want Bella to change. I loved her as she was and didn't want to steal her future. Also, I inherently believed that vampires were an evil soulless being; myself included. I couldn't bear the thought of risking her soul. She disagrees, claiming we absolutely have souls. We can't know either way now. But it is a debate," he said, looking into my eyes with an unfathomable expression. "I've tried to be good and not kill. I did in my past, but I never will again if I can help it. I don't know if living life as a good person is enough to make up for what I have done," he said in a heavy voice. I was thankful I had so many people to stop me from killing myself. I couldn't imagine killing anyone. I couldn't live with the guilt. Edward nodded solemnly. He would help me. My thoughts strayed back to Bram, longingly, and I imagined him looking like a vampire. I didn't know what to think.

"There would be things he could lose. You may lose," he said looking somber. "For example, it may not be possible for you to see loved ones in this state. Your change may alarm them. They can't sound the alarm on us, it would endanger our anonymity. It's true Bella reunited with her father under careful circumstances. We may be able to proceed that way with you as well, it depends on the personalities of these people as well. Could they believe in the supernatural? We can't tell them we are vampires, to protect them. Bella's father has no idea what she really is. Just that she is drastically different" he said and my mind shifted in a painful stroke to Leah's face and my sisters and parents. Nick and Abby. How was I supposed to live without them? How could I disappear on them, and never give them closure? I felt my eyes fill with tears again, and the air catch in my throat. It was hard to stop.

"Simon, I'm so sorry," he said in a gentle voice. He held my shoulder. "With my mind reading abilities and Alice's visions maybe we can see who would accept the story and proceed with those people. Don't give up hope. Perhaps we can stall them until you are ready," he said and I could tell he was grasping for straws. There were no guarantees. I felt the tears on my face and Edward looked helpless. "I really am sorry for your pain. I'll do everything to help you," he promised me. I nodded, and tried not to think of them anymore. Burning and emotional pain combined was too much. I couldn't withstand it. I felt raw and miserable. The flames didn't let up.

"Maybe we could take a break, talk more later. Would you prefer that?" he asked me, clearly not knowing what to do,

 _Yeah, maybe for a while. But I'll probably want to be distracted in a bit. Maybe you could tell me more about the vampire world, the history or something. But not now_...I thought, realizing I wanted to mourn my human life. Never would I thought I would be dying, yet also be sort of alive and still present to experience it, and...exist past death. Still here. On Earth. It would be so selfish to ask Bram to throw his life away. To never change again. To exist on, dead, yet alive in a way. Would life be good again for the two of us? Could we be happy this way? I thought desperately. But then I paused, and I thought of the hundreds of times I saw Edward and Bella, and Jake and Ness happy. They had human friends. They went to school. They blended in to the best of their ability. They did have happy lives. It gave me some hope. Maybe Bram and I would go to Dartmouth again in the future. It was unclear. But not hopeless. There was a chance.

I wished I could sleep. Apparently I never would again, which was difficult to wrap my head around. But I was changing. My senses were sharpening. My vision was already better enough that I didn't need glasses. My hearing was so good it was unnerving. Maybe I would have an extra ability also. I tried to imagine what would be cool to have to occupy my mind, but it didn't distract me well. Eventually I gave up and pictured Bram, replaying happy memories from the past few months. I felt like I would give anything to see him right now. I cringed and writhed with the flames, my mind pained with desire for Bram. Edward sat by my side, not speaking, but at least not making me have to suffer alone. That was my one solace; I wouldn't have to do this alone.


	10. Chapter 10: Sacrifices (Edward)

_Chapter 10: Sacrifices- Edward_

"He's through here," I heard Bella say as they came into the foyer. I leaned over to Simon. "How are you?" I asked. He looked pale and lifeless.

"Burning…" he moaned. I it sounded like there was no change. Ness dabbed his sweaty forehead gently. Then I smelled Bram's scent as he came in. Bella and Jake stood next to him looking somber.

Bram spotted Simon and moved up to the couch. He knelt down next to him, his face looking pained and longing. Simon turned to see him then his breath caught, instantly he started crying. Bram cringed then cradled his face with shaking fingers and rested his forehead on his. "I'm here baby, it's okay" he crooned, stroking his face. Simon kept crying in relief, stress, fear, pain; it was unclear. Maybe he finally felt like being with his lover was emotionally overpowering.

"Oh Bram.." he gasped voice breaking.

"It's okay….it's okay…" Bram whispered kissing his forehead, stroking away his tears. "I know honey, I know you've been worried," he said switching to stroking his damp hair.

"Bram...I'm sorry..I love you…" Simon pleaded.

"Shhhhh...shhh" Bram shhed him gently then kissed him tenderly on the mouth, to stop his cries. Simon was shaking, clearly in agony.

"It really hurts.." he moaned after they broke apart. "Bram.." he moaned in longing.

"I know honey, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry…" he said cradling him against him. He held him tightly as he burned. He whispered soothing comfort words to him as Simon cried himself out. Bram rested his head on Simon's, holding him close, cradled in his arms. Simon clutched him never wanting to let him go. "I love you. In any form Simon. I promise," he said kissing his hair. Simon cringed the burning worsening in the final hours. "I've got you, I'm sorry it hurts. It's almost over sweetheart," Bram said kissing his hand. He cupped his face with his other hand. I saw that his skin was turning cool and pearly. Bram stroked the skin, most likely feeling the change. His hair was a beautiful vibrant blonde. Face as pale as the moon. An almost vampire. Bram caught my eye, and knew he was out of time. He rocked his boyfriend, kissing him everywhere, his face, his hair, his cheek. He seemed like he decided to lie, probably not to overly upset his ailing Simon. Simon looked at him, blue/gray eyes appearing vibrant purple, on their way to red. He cleared his throat. "Baby, I'll be back soon okay?" He managed staying strong. "I love you honey," he said kissing his head, eyes tearing. He hid it from him.

"Please come back soon," he begged. "It's less painful with you here," Bram hugged him, hiding his streaming face. "Simon, I love you," he repeated, wiping his face. "I love you Bram, forever. Nothing can part us," he vowed. He reached up with his face and Bram kissed his lips, looking smooth and icy now. Bram pulled away.

"Soon," he vowed and kissed his shut eyelid. Then he squeezed his hand and let go. Ness took his hand in his place and nodded to him sadly. I grasped his shoulder leading him into the hall. Bram was going to pieces silently, heartbroken by the goodbye. He stopped and looked at me looking helpless. I hugged him and Jasper flitted into the room, sending comforting emotions to ease his pain. Bram was able to regain himself and pulled away, wiping his nose.

"I promise we'll be in contact and make sure that Simon is able to speak to you. We will reunite you as soon as he is able to withstand proximity to humans. But again I don't know how long that will take," I said apologetically. "What are your plans now?" I asked.

"I would like to go back to Washington with your family to get to understand Simon's new world, my world, if that's all right," he checked.

Carlisle joined us, beaming. "My name is Carlisle, I am the head of the Cullen family and Edward's father. I would be delighted to bring you home with myself and my wife Esme. We can teach you everything there is to know about us and what to expect. You will be perfectly safe." He assured. And Carlisle, radiated warmth. Bram nodded.

"We will stay here until it is safe to return," I said, clasping Bram's shoulder.

"Please take care of him and keep him safe," Bram begged him, pained by his separation. I nodded, a promise. After that Bram departed with Carlisle and Esme.

That night Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, and myself were preparing to take Simon into the White mountains, to hunt. It would be enough supervision to keep him safe. We had to leave shortly, he was in his final hours. Alice wanted to come in case of unexpected visions, and Jasper agreed, although Jake's presence may limit her. I moved to Bella and kissed her goodbye.

"Keep each other safe. And Simon. Call us, we'll be worried," she said, nuzzling my face.

"Of course but we'll be safe, this is only a precaution," I assured her, kissing her hair. Jake had picked up Simon and carried him to the car. Ness looked after him worried. "He's going to be okay Ness," referring to what could have been either of them. I touched her cheek and she smiled. It seemed that I have been forgiven. I still should talk to her later to make sure, however. But now wasn't the time. I turned and followed my brothers. We drove silently in the night. I ended up sitting next to Simon in the back seat of one of the cars, who writhed and moaned, not entirely lucid. I gripped his shoulder in comfort. I too remembered the agony of burning. Jasper blanketed us with calming feelings, which seemed to help slightly in Simon's tormented thoughts, while he drove. It was difficult having to hear the thoughts, but also my duty as a friend who ultimately had let him down.

"I like Bram," came Alice's voice in the front seat. "He's sweet. I can see how much he loves him," she said. She already experienced several visions of him adjusting to life at the Cullens. Polite and eager to learn. I nodded, I was glad the visions were happy, but it was impossible to tell the time fr8ame of the reunion.

"I hadn't mentioned it before to you, not much time to do so, but I can't hear his thoughts either," I said, speaking low. Alice turned in the seat to look at me.

"Wow, that's incredible. The second time in your life that's ever happened," she said. She could still see his future easily, like Bella. "He must be another shield," she said.

I wondered about Simon, how he would react to being new. If he would have a talent. I wasn't worried about him wanting to hunt humans; he was a caring gentle soul who never wanted to hurt anyone. His thoughts were exceptionally pure. I hoped his self-control would be similar to Bella's because it hurt me, keeping him away from Bram. I could never part with Bella. The one time I did, the pain of it nearly killed me. Never again. So I empathized, and felt terrible. Especially because it was my fault. I wondered about Bram. Would he eventually desire this life, as Bella had? To be with Simon forever? I never knew his thoughts, but his actions spoke volumes. I didn't know what to think; it seemed anything was possible. And if it did come to pass, our family was growing. But love always paved the way to family, and they were our best friends outside our family and Tanya's, which also had now come to include Garrett for the past 7 years. He only recently managed a full vegetarian transition, struggling as Jasper had. But Kate was patient. He was her everything.

I patted Simons shoulder. Cringing as the fire retreated to his heart slowly; the final stages. We would arrive shortly. In time for his transformation to conclude outside. He would be stronger than all of us. A crazed newborn. But with Jasper, myself, and Alice, it was as safe as we could execute the situation. "It's almost over," I comforted him, struggling to bear the fire in his thoughts with him, even somewhat.

When we arrived, we set him on the ground, minutes from the conclusion. At this point the pain in his heart was the worst so far. He screamed, voice coming out in vampire velvet tones. His appearance was completely transformed. He reminded me of Jasper's build, hair golden. He didn't need glasses anymore. Minutes later his heart stuttered than beat one final time. Everyone held their breath. I saw him open his red eyes and peer above him in shock. And then I heard my thoughts echo. I froze. I heard Jasper's tense thoughts echo as well and Emmett's. What on Earth? I stared at Simon, and saw a thought, my face looking from above at Simon. I heard absolute panic in Simon's thoughts.

 _My eyes aren't open how can I see Edward? Is it a weird ability? Plus he's clearly not talking, but I can hear him thinking… thinking… What I am? What the hell?_ And then he puzzled over how I heard what the hell, his thoughts. He shifted through dull murky human memories, and thought he remembered someone saying I heard thoughts. But, if that was true, why could he hear them? He spun to look at me jaw dropping. I stared back, equally stupefied. _Edward_? He thought.

 _Simon?_ I thought.

"Holy shit" he said, his vampire's voice shimmered pleasantly. He stopped to marvel at the sound. He started around in shock. _It's so clear…_ He thought.

 _Yes_. I replied in thoughts, _and you can read minds like me_.

 _Wow, really?_ He thought in wonder. _I can hear everything. And it's weird not breathing. But I like the scents and taste… Well.. Not Jake,_ he thought grimacing at him. All the others were still waiting for more.

"I'm fine… It's just a lot… overwhelming ...and it appears I can read minds too…" he added, looking self conscious.

Jake gaped at him. "That's crazy! Another mind reader!"

"Oh wow, I'd love to hear Bram," he said looking eager.

 _Well, no, you won't be able to_. I thought. _I can't hear him or Bella. Their minds are protected for some reason._ Simon looked disappointed.

 _Maybe it's good anyway, that we stay equals. It's hard, sorting what people are saying vs. thinking. And they're all taking over each other._ He thought grimacing.

 _You can try focusing on one voice and the others become white noise. Or maybe, you can try turning it off? I can't unfortunately._ I thought. He pondered this then focused on stopping. I heard my thought echo blink out. I was impressed.

 _Much better. Can you still hear me?_ He thought. I nodded.

"How do you feel?" Jasper asked, impatience in his thoughts. He was worried for a snap. Simon flashed to his feet and gazed in wonder at his pearly skin.

"Shocked… Strong… Not tired, even though that was exhausting." He said. "I can turn my ability on and off," he said.

"That's convenient," Jake added, moving closer. It was clear that Simon was not going to attack him.

"Why do you smell awful? Is it because you're human?" He asked.

"No I'm not. I'm a shapeshifter. I turn into a werewolf." Simon seemed to remember.

"Yes, you saved my life. Thanks Jake," he said. He nodded to him.

"Humans will not smell awful. They will smell so delicious, you may lose control. That's why we brought you out here. We need to teach you to hunt animals instead. So you can be with Bram" I said. He looked around.

"Animals? Like what?" He asked.

"Deer, maybe mountain lions, that's it around here," Emmett said.

"So you guys don't kill people?" He said.

"Not anymore, but some of us had phases at the beginning. Bella and Ness are clear. Rosalie also, our other sister," said Alice. "We won't let you… If you don't want to," she said awkwardly. He flinched.

"No never, I'll hunt animals with you guys," he said quickly.

"It will become easier to see Bram when your thirst is under control," said Jasper. Then, for the first time he touched his throat. It was odd, how it took him so long to get there, like Bella.

"So how do you hunt?" He asked. Emmett stepped up.

"You let your senses take control and reach out to find the scent or heartbeats. Then the instinct is natural," he said.

"But you can't let yourself hunt with humans around. Edward cleared the area," Jasper said. Simon looked uncomfortable trying to cool his throat with his hand.

"Let's go, follow us," I said leading the way through the trees. Simon kept up with me easily, stronger with his human's blood. I smelled deer and slowed. Simon stopped looking exhilarated.

"That was amazing," he said smiling.

"Let your thoughts reach out. Pick up the smells," I said. He closed his eyes and obeyed.

"I smell them, deer?" He asked.

"Yes, follow your instincts," I said. He sunk into a crouch and ghosted through the trees. I followed and I heard Jasper shadowing ahead. I could tell Jake had phased to keep up. I heard Simon's thoughts. He positioned himself near the water, then sprang gracefully. He pinned a female and sank his teeth into her throat. He had some difficulty finding the best place, but he drank gratefully. He finished before I could reach the water, and pin a buck. He watched me as I sought the point on his neck where the flow was strong and drink. When I finished there wasn't a drop on me.

"You make it look easy," he complained.

"Centuries of practice," I said. We cocked our heads and heard Emmett and Alice hunting a few miles away. Jasper wasn't hunting. His expression was locked on Simon's face. I had to admit, I was stunned. Simon was not feral. Like Bella. Jasper felt annoyed. Why was it so hard for him? I thought about the concept of mentally preparing for what was coming. We told Simon about hunting animals when he was burning. Was that enough? He could still snap still.

"Why am I still thirsty?" He asked.

"You're new. It also means you're the strongest vampire right now, because you still have your human blood," I said.

"Stronger than you?" He asked in wonder.

"Yeah, and Emmett, my largest brother back here," I said.

"Who are you?" He asked Jasper shyly.

"I'm Jasper, I have an ability too. I'm an empath. I can influence the emotions of people around me," he said.

"Wow, that's very cool," Simon said grinning. "What about the others?" He asked, remembering details about some of them.

"Let's keep moving, we'll tell you," I said taking off again but not so fast this time.

"My brother and sister Emmett and Rosalie don't have powers. Nor do Esme or Carlisle, our adopted parents. Carlisle helped attend to you. He's a doctor. He works with humans," Jasper said.

"Bella is my wife. I described her shield. She can protect her mind, and the minds of those around her. When she was human, I couldn't even hear her thoughts." I said.

"And Bram seems to have this too?" He said.

"Yes, perhaps it is similar to Bella, or different," I said.

"What about Ness?" He asked. I paused. I didn't want to explain everything about her yet.

"I mentioned it before, but she can share her thoughts through touch," is all I said.

We managed to find another herd of deer and Simon seemed to drink himself full. We reconvened to assess what to do next.

"Should we go back to the house?" Emmett asked.

I felt Jasper's doubt. It was more proximate to humans. But what exactly were we going to do out here?

"I have an idea," I said. "Do you mind listening to my thoughts?" I asked him. He looked puzzled but I heard him listening again.

 _I'm going to remember the taste of human blood and the smell, to see how you do_. I thought. He nodded.

I pulled up a memory of an old hunt, not Bella's hyper potent smell and taste. Simon jerked clutching his throat. I saw the expression in his eyes change. His breath quickened. Jasper moved forward but I raised a hand. Simon heard our anxious thoughts and peered into my face. He fought back. After a moment, I saw reason regain in his eyes. I smiled.

"Ugh, that's awful," he complained, massaging him throat, which likely burned. "I don't think I can talk to humans yet, but I think I could deal if they were in houses a bit separated from us," he said, shaking his head to clear it.

 _How is this possible?!_ Jasper thought, outraged, but held his expression.

"Again," he said turning to Emmett. Overall it went rather well, we only needed to stop him from charging at Jasper once, but Jasper had the least amount of control in his memories, at the time. Simon was disturbed by the visions of the dead. Sickened. But after an hour, he barely reacted. True, an in person experience was far to come. But it was progress. We decided to go back to the house, which was fairly secluded anyway, and had many vampires keeping watch there.

He rode with me, trading thoughts, thinking it was so cool, he could telecommunicate almost.

 _There's a lot to be aware of. In a family, tensions can run high if everyone's thoughts and secrets were constantly accessible to me. Everything, even intimate moments. I learned that I needed to find a new space at night._ Simon wondered what I meant.

 _Well, if you think about it. We don't sleep. Our emotions and sense of touch are much more sensitive. We don't need to eat or even use the bathroom. We never get tired. Most partners… Well, in the evenings, they are occupied with passion_. I thought.

 _ **Wait a minute. All night?**_ He thought shocked.

 _Think about it, does it sound exhausting to you right now?_ I asked mentally.

 _ **I guess not, but that's a lot of sex**_ _,_ he said dumbstruck.

 _When your partner is human, it's different. Humans are fragile. The act of sex could really hurt them, even kill them. It's better to wait until they are safe. But it's up to you what you do_. I thought _._

 _There's more about me I'd like to tell you. About my family. If just like to wait for now._ I added. He thought that was fair.

 _ **Bram. I love him but I don't want to hurt him. I won't see him until humans barely bother me. And I certainly won't hurt him physically. I never could risk that. Do you… do you think he could still be attracted to me anyway?**_ He thought, embarrassed.

 _You haven't seen yourself. If you remember, our good looks are part of the package. It's meant to lure prey in. Bella seems to always have been attracted to me. But I think you'll find it's love that attracts us_. I thought kindly. Simon thought about how Bram said he would love him in any form.

 _When he saw you tonight, he did see some of your changes. Did he seem repulsed by them?_ I asked, knowing the answer.

 _ **No. It was like there was no difference.**_ Simon thought, they he ran back through Bram's visit and his goodbye. He swallowed, then his face scrunched up. He touched his eye with his hand, confused.

 _We can't cry as vampires. Well, we can, but it's dry, without tears._ I thought, gently.

 _ **That's strange, but there are so many benefits it seems. Hearing thoughts. Super strength and speed. No more human needs. Not being able to be hurt. Being young forever. Apparently endless sex. What do you guys do with your other time?**_

 _We mainly live in Forks Washington because it rains and is overcast the most. That means we can go outside, no sun. Every 20-50 years we attend high school, to keep up appearances. I have many graduation hats. We go to college. Travel. Visit our friends in the North, that also don't hunt humans. Basically these things._

 _ **Wow…. High school over and over. Once was enough.**_ Thought Simon in despair.

 _It helps cut down suspicion. It will be a while before we go again. We have college to finish._

 _ **We can eventually go back?**_

 _Once you're safe, you can do whatever. Our family has millions roughly. Alice sees changes in the stock market. You can go anywhere or do anything. Just not in the sun._

 _ **Why can Ness do it?**_

 _It's complicated. I think I'd prefer she tell you._

 _ **Okay. That's fair… We have a while.**_ He said.

 _Truly we do._

 _ **And you don't mind us living with you? Really? That seems huge.**_

 _No. We honestly think of you as family. It makes us strong, having more of us. Because we don't drink human blood, it lets us be less wild. We can form bonds of love. When other vampires only form small groups by convenience, or just travel as partners._

 _ **So, Bram and I, we would become Cullens?**_ he asked.

 _If you want to. Our father Carlisle and mother Esme would adopt you._

 _ **Wow, that's so nice.**_ He replied.

 _In the face of everything Simon, it's minimal. Remember, you look drastically different. You can't run him to your family and friends. We could try and orchestrate a reunion. Us hearing thoughts helps. But it could be they will be afraid. They may think they are crazy._

Simon looked pained. He held his head in his hands. _**Nora, Alice, Nick, Leah, Abby… God...I don't think I could live without them. I feel sick.**_ I put a have on his shoulder.

 _Maybe it's possible but we can't say we're vampires. The Volturi will kill any humans that find out. And they all can't become vampires. Really, it only makes sense to change your partner. No one else._

He thought about it. _**Who's the Volturi?**_

 _A kind of government that regulates vampire behavior. We can't make spectacles of ourselves or reveal our nature otherwise they will arrive and use their combined supernatural gifts to destroy any vampires who break the rule. We've dealt with them in the past. Narrow escapes. But again, I think it's best if Ness explains._

 _ **There's a lot to learn. A lot to accept.**_ And he thought it with a heavy heart.

 _I know, that's why we all feel wretched. And we wanted you to choose death over this. All of us, save Bella didn't choose this life. It happened to us or Carlisle saved us because we were dying, and couldn't actually consent._

 _ **Wow, and if you think about it, the same happened to me.**_

 _Yes. And we're so sorry. We stole your life and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself._ I thought, and felt it too my core.

Simon didn't say anything, thoughts jumbled. Then they cleared. _**No, you we're trying to live in college. Trying to make a life. You didn't know you would be tracked in. You didn't expect an attack on your friends. Have you had human friends before?**_ He asked. I nodded. _**So there you are, and I know you did your best to save me. You showed up with the whole family, and I'm grateful you saved my life… Or existence.**_ I thought that it was really kind of him to be so forgiving. Perhaps it could change. _**I guess we don't know, but I'm not the type to hold on to hate. There are a lot of benefits to this life. Never growing old is a relief. I think my parents and two of my friends will accept me. Having Bram there explaining also could help. I mean, I'll tell them I was dying. No choice.**_

 _We will do our best to arrange that. But not soon. We need time to think, observe the future, and get you stable._ He nodded, understanding. He felt tired but not physically. Mentally. I let him zone out in peace.

When we got home, we didn't have issues getting into the house. It was weird for Simon, not sleeping. He ended up typing in his phone to what I assumed was Bram. Eventually he lapsed into silence deep in thought. I felt bad, because vampire life could be quite boring.

What was less boring and very irritating to me was that Jake and Ness seemed to have reached full intimacy. It reminded me how Bella and I were on Isle Esme. Bella started shielding them at nights in the big house, because Alice set up another room for them, secluded, claiming they were adults and should probably be living together. It made me furious. But I also couldn't ask they l them to leave to go to another apartment or house because of tense times. Bella spoke to me briefly about it, saying she didn't love it but understood it, and how our daughter had never seemed happier. Except when she stressed over Simon.

There was a tense afternoon when she finally explained how she came to be to Simon, and how we were related. And she also explained our past with the Volturi. He stared bug eyed at us, and was grateful when Emmett offered to take him on a hunt.

Simon seemed like he kept in continual contact with Bram. That seemed to be helping. I once saw his phone screen accidentally.

 _Who's Blue_? I asked.

 _ **When Bram and I first met, we actually met anonymously on the internet and emailed each other and it took some time to reveal our identities. I thought it might be nice for us to continue those old emails..He used the name Blue and I used the name Jacques. You have to remember we went to high school in Georgia, and it's not exactly progressive. It was tough but by senior year we were out and together.**_ I smiled, thinking it was a good love story, and a good way to remind each other of their roots in a tough time.

Two weeks after hunting animals we decided to walk Simon through neighborhoods, under heavy guard. It was tense. But he passed. At the month marker, we took him on campus. He had a hard time focusing on breathing and needed to leave quickly, but no one died or was injured. He talked with Jasper in the evenings about ways to control himself. Weeks later, he finally seemed ready to mingle. He did everyday for a week, and managed it as well as Jasper did for many years.

We were planning to go home. I thought Simon was doing well with the separation from Bram, but several times I accidentally caught thoughts I wasn't supposed to, with Simon grieving and dry crying in silence. I knew not to disturb him. I'd feel the same if I needed to separate from Bella. It was unthinkable. When I was away, I simply existed. Nothing more. Simon was doing better than I was. But he also was still in contact, unlike my situation.

The night before going home, I was playing chess with Alice when a strange look crossed her face.

"I had a vision about Carlisle going for a walk with Bram but then it blinked out." She said, and I saw it too. For whatever reason, unexplained, I thought this was more significant than the others thought after we shared it with them.. I reached for my phone but it rang. It was Carlisle.

"Carlisle," I answered, an urgent tone in my voice.

"Edward," he answered and I heard it. I heard what I dreaded for many years. The same desolate tone in his voice from our last encounter with the Volturi. It was also from when we all thought Bella was dying. I froze into ice. Waiting for the worst.

"I was told to call you." He said, voice pained.

"Who?" I breathed. At this point I knew the others were gathered around me as still as statues. I couldn't concentrate on their thoughts. But I knew Simon was listening to me so it was like he was on the phone too.

"We have the company of half human vampires. They work for the Volturi." He said. If my heart could stop, it would.

"Surely you are stronger… You can defend yourselves," I breathed. And a few people in the room gasped in fear.

"Edward… They outnumber us 10 to 1," he said, voice dead. I couldn't speak. 30 part vampires?

"What do they want?" I managed.

"Alice, Bella, Jake, and Ness. Or we die," he managed. I couldn't breathe. Not me. That was the worst part. Taking my wife and daughter but not me. "If you attempt an attack, it will be instant death. I assure you, it's no bluff." He said. I couldn't. If I had the ability to have a normal stomach, I'd throw up.

"We can't not come…" I managed.

"We discussed it. We don't want you to. It is our wish," he says solemnly.

"No," I begged. "No we can't," I said, voice breaking.

"We can't allow this either. Even Bram won't risk Simon. He said he'd die right now to protect him," he said. "We agree," he said.

I didn't know what to do. I loved my father more than anything… except Bella and Ness. I loved Alice. I couldn't risk her being taken. Could I risk them? No. No we needed a plan.

"Tell them… Tell them to wait while we decide. We're going to come up with a plan Carlisle. We promise," I said, swearing to him. He tried to protest but I ended the call.

Then I dropped my phone and couldn't move.

No one did, the only sounds were the heartbeats. Then Bella was at my side. "Tell me," she breathed. I didn't think I could. I couldn't think of a way out. Alice was blind. I looked at her and her eyes were terrified.

"Half vampires, a large group have them. The are working for Aro," I breathed. Ness looked like she was going to throw up or pass out.

"And they want us," Bella replied, knowing them so well.

"You, Alice, Jake…., And Ness," I said the words burning on the way out. Ness sank to the floor. Jacob ripped to his wolf form, unable to contain himself. Simon looked confused and worried, but also aware what the Volturi coming meant. Jasper's expression was black as death. Not his Alice.

"You can't give yourselves up," said Emmett without preamble.

"Are you so ready to lose Carlisle?" I asked in a dead voice. "Esme?... And Bram," I said unwillingly looking at Simon. He also sank to the floor next to Ness, clutching his hair. Not confused anymore about this one aspect.

"No.." Alice moaned. "Not for me," she whispered.

"What?" came Jasper's voice, loud and cold as ice splinters. His expression was deadly, teeth bared. His thoughts were clear. All of us would die before Alice if it was his choice.

"They won't kill us," she whispered. "We're too valuable," she said. There was an ear splitting crash as Jasper picked up and threw a glass table. It broke into thousands of pieces, the shards bouncing off of the walls and floors. We flinched, but held our positions.

"There is no way," he growled. She looked at him beseechingly but I read in her eyes that if she chose to go, she would evade him.

He read it too and got in her face. "What do you expect me to do?" He snapped. "Let you go, f..forever?" He gasped, voice breaking on the last word.

"No. I expect the rest of you to gather everyone, and come to Volterra," she said clearly. Simon picked his head up, wanting to know what Voterra was. I told him through thought and he nodded his thanks.

"Everyone?" He asked.

"The packs, all the vampires from before. Anyone else we can find. They won't stand a chance."

"Bella's shield…" Rose whispered, and she was right. It was the only reason.

"They can't stop me from shielding without killing me. When you arrive, everyone will be protected." She said. Until they did kill her. I thought in agony. And they would to save themselves.

"How will you know when we get there?" Emmett asked. Jasper did not relax. In his mind, all of this was moot because she wasn't going.

"Alice. Hold the packs back and send Edward or Carlisle first, she will see them," Bella said. I locked eyes with her. How could I even begin to let her go. And Ness. How could I live with the deaths of my parents, and more plots to kill us in the future. There was no escaping it. No matter what, we'd never be safe until they we're dead. But some of us would die. Including my own family.

"Was there ever a chance to outrun this?" Rose said in a dead voice, voice the same as mine. "Alice can't see them anymore. At least this time, we know almost everything involved," she said.

"How dare you all go with this plan?" Jasper roared. "They will never let you go, or kill you!" Jasper yelled. Alice looked at him and he glared at her furiously.

"Would you let me go Alice?" He challenged. Her face twisted in pain. No, is what she thought mentally. But she didn't want Carlisle and Esme to die.

"Can't we take them at the house?" Jake croaked.

"They will light them on fire instantly the moment we try. I know it," I said in a whisper.

"We're all individuals," Ness said suddenly. She got up, looking strong and brave, tears in her eyes. "We all have a vote. No one can control anyone else's decision." She added, looking at me, but avoiding Jasper. He scared he slightly.

She looked to her mother; Bella. Bella looked anguished. Then her eyes met mine. She dropped her mental shield.

 _Edward. If it was Charlie, I'd never not go. You feel the same._

I looked into her eyes, mesmerized by hearing her thoughts.

 _What if we never had forever? This may be all we were allowed. If I'm leaving this world, I know we're leaving together._ I mouthed Ness's name, and her resolve almost crumbled.

 _She's…. Not mine anymore. She is free to choose as we are. We can't stop her._ And I felt such acute pain in her mind I wanted to hold her. The shield returned.

"I'm going," she said and everyone stared at her. I couldn't move.

"So am I," said Emmett. Rosalie looked overwhelmed with emotion, but nodded, unwilling to let him go without her. I looked at Jake and he was staring back, my burning man look from before in his eyes. He was terrified. He couldn't choose. He couldn't lose Ness.

The others looked anguished. But I knew Alice was going. Even if Jasper didn't. She was trying to decide if she should lie. I looked at her, and shook my head slightly. It just was wrong. If she wanted to go, Jasper couldn't stop all of us, she was going if she wanted to. Ness turned to Jake.

"Will you go with me?" She asked him, eyes locking with his wolf eyes. I could see tears in his eyes. His heart raced. But he bowed his head. Accepting his fate. He wouldn't live without her either. He would end his life to save hers. But he knew she was going. And it made him feel better, that he was going with her to Volterra. And was disconnected from the pack.

"I will," I said moving to Bella and pulling her into a hug.

Everyone looked at Alice. Jasper looked more like a vampire than I'd ever seen him. "You can't," he said, lips barely moving. She looked heartbroken and I saw a vision of what was coming with her thoughts. I cringed. I didn't want this.

"Jasper…" she whispered. Something in the tone meant something to him. "Let's go, follow me," she begged trying to avoid the vision.

"No," he snarled.

"Jaz please, I need you to...I see.. " he cut her off.

"You can't.. You can't Alice you promised you'd never leave me," he said voice starting to fail. I wanted to leave to avoid this scene, but Bella was frozen in my arms.

"Sweetheart…" she said afraid and desperate, the vision locking in. I looked at Emmett trying to stop him from what he was going to do in thirty seconds. He wasn't looking at me. Then Jasper reached forward and grabbed her arms restraining her. "Jaz no.." she gasped not caring about herself, but Emmett, who barreled forward at Jasper knocking into him full force. Alice screamed as she was dragged forward too, unable to shake off Jasper. I dashed forward, intent on releasing her. I got inadvertently knocked aside as they crashed through the living room and landed on the dining room table. It splintered. Jake tried to get a hold of Jasper's arm with his teeth but he was tossed against the wall. A few bones breaking in the side that made the impact. Ness screamed. I looked at Simon and he read my mind. He dashed forward and caught Jasper, he was strong enough to pull him off of Emmett and help restrain him. A new vampire. Finally, he couldn't move. He thrashed but knew he was beaten. He couldn't get free with Emmett helping. Ness rushed to Jake who phased back, wheezing in pain.

"It's okay, I'm healing already," he assured her. Alice moved forward, looking pained. There hadn't had a physical fight among that wasn't playful in many years. Jasper looked at her and I read his mind. He realized as long as we all were here, including Simon, he could never keep her safe. She was going. He couldn't stop her. And he broke. Switching from anger to anguish to hopelessness. He sank to the floor giving up. The others didn't let go yet. He gasped and started sobbing. Dry crying like I had myself recently had before. There was a wordless scream of pain in his head. Alice dropped to her knees, her eyes pricking with unshed tears. They let him go and he dropped to all fours.

"I'm sorry…" she moaned reaching for him. He didn't throw her off at her touch. "Baby I'm so sorry…" she said pulling him into a hug. She rested her head against his shushing him gently. Stroking his blonde hair. "I love you...I love you and I don't want to hurt you sweetheart," she said pulling him up to kiss his face. He didn't, pulling back.

"I can't do it...I can't let you go...I can't…" he sobbed. And I felt something in me break. It made it too real. "Please… Please don't, I'm begging you," he said hugging her.

"Jaz.." she said breaking down herself. "Jaz, honey it's not like that… It's not like that. I could never leave you, not that way," she pleaded, holding his face. I had to go. It was too much to take. He needed to be alone with her. I read his mind and he wouldn't attack again. She was kissing his face and comforting him while he moaned in pain. "Baby, I'm sorry. I love you…don't cry.." she whispered.

Simon followed me out, looking terrified.

 _Bram._ He thought of with searing pain. They had him. His baby. He couldn't. He couldn't imagine it. I caught him as he stumbled.

 _I don't think he's hurt._ I rushed to assure him. _He's going to be okay. My father would have told me. They are protecting him_. Simon thought about Jasper's crying and felt like he wanted to too. I honestly wanted to also. He was sick with worry. He didn't want them to surrender themselves. But he also couldn't help but selfishly want Bram free. He felt ashamed. _Simon, I understand. I'd feel the same way. We're going to work on a plan._ I assured him. Bella clutched my hand tightly. I could read the pain on her face. She couldn't bear the loss of myself or our daughter, not thinking about herself.

Ness caught up with us and Jake. He didn't have clothes from phasing but we avoided our eyes. He was hurt, I could tell from his thoughts bones were broken. It hurt badly. Ness regained my attention.

"I'm sorry, but you understand. We can't leave them. And they won't stop coming. Why lose them if this is inevitable?" She said and I knew she was right.

I couldn't imagine them imprisoned in Volterra, possibly being tortured. But no. Bella would shield them. No doubt about it. If we could attack from inside and out, we would prevail. The ancients weren't incredible fighters. They could feign poor fighting skills, then fight strongly when the time came.

"Where Ness goes I go," Jake said, huffing.I nodded my thanks to him.

"You should contact Sam. Ask if he wants to help or evacuate," I said. Jake nodded.

"I'll call tonight," he said. I felt bad because he was limping. And I could feel the pain.

"Should I look at that?" I asked. I studied medicine, but had nothing on Carlisle. Jake glanced at me then bent to sit down on a couch, jerking in agony. I sat next to him and probed his hip and ribs. He flinched. "I'll need to wrap these ribs. Bella?" I asked. She turned and flitted away to get bandages. I moved his leg to see if his hip was healing correctly. He flinched but kept most of the pain off his face.

"I think your pelvis has a break. But I need to move it, okay?" I asked. He nodded and closed his eyes. I did so as carefully as I could, but he still yelled, throwing his head back, a tear of pain escaping. Ness stroked his hair comfortingly looking upset. "There, it's done. You need to keep it still. I'll get you a blanket," I said. He groaned. He knew this would take all night to heal. Bella returned with bandages and tape. Have held still stoically as I taped him up. Ness flitted away, then appeared with shorts and a blanket.

"I couldn't possibly sleep now, we need to strategize," Jake complained but he looked exhausted and had a cold sweat going from shock.

"Alright, chime in when you want, we'll be in the next room," I said, knowing he wouldn't take my order to sleep. Ness sat next to him on the couch after helping him out in the shorts. I made sure he was readjusted after and he bit back another yell of pain. Then I joined Bella in the other room. I could barely think about what just happened. Was I really going to allow my wife to surrender herself tomorrow? I knew they wouldn't take me. Not including me was a clear message. We were much stronger together, and this was punishment for me. The thing that needed to be decided, was which plan had the best odds of survival. Right now, walking away would result in three certain deaths. Showing up technically could result in the same way, but I knew Aro's mind. If he was offering a trade, it was likely good. So showing up meant that four could likely die, but less than likely, because they were what they wanted. If they cooperated, it was doubtful they would be hurt. I worried about Jake. What could they possibly want to do with him? They said a genetic quality. We're they going to force him to spread his gene, so they could have werewolf offspring? So forced sex? Essentially… rape. I gagged, tormented with this unbidden thought. This was what Jake was facing, and as soon as I thought about it, I knew I was right. Now that I realized it, I knew I had to tell Jacob, I thought with a sickening pang. It wasn't right to keep this. He most likely hadn't gotten there himself mentally. And if his answer was no, likely what my answer would be if I were in his shoes, he needed to run tonight with Ness. Or as soon as he healed.

"Bella?" I said, tone of voice messed up. She looked at me and read my expression, looking worried. "I need to talk to Jake. Please." I said. She gazed at me but read that I wasn't about to explain.

"That's fine honey. Come back to me soon," she said and kissed my lips.

I made myself sound loud to prevent overhearing anything I couldn't or shouldn't hear what Jake and Ness were doing. When I rounded the corner, Jake and Ness was staring at me expectantly. "I need to talk to Jake for a minute Ness," I said with no emotional inflection. She stood up immediately and drifted back toward Alice and Jasper, but looked terrified. But she was hoping to help brainstorm anyway. I sat next to him and he looked at me and his face was grim. He knew this wasn't good.

"I swear I haven't moved," he said. I smiled wanly.

"No, I need to tell you something I realized," I said, but then my throat felt tight and uncomfortable. Jake knew me better now, because he looked concerned at my expression. "This isn't easy to say so I need a minute," I said, trying to buy time.

"If it's about Ness and me…" he started.

"No...no, it's about why the Volturi may have an interest in you." I said, worried he already knew and also hoping that he hadn't.

"That they might expect me to be their guard dog?" He replied. "I know and I'm going to have to go along with it if I want to protect her," he said voice desolate. I felt sick with explaining this. I almost felt like it was better for him to talk to Rosalie, the only other person I knew of in our family who suffered from this. I reached out and grasped his shoulder. He looked alarmed by this gesture. I never did this.

"No... I figured out that they must be doing genetic experiments to get half human half vampires. It seems to be their new weapon," I said. He stared blankly, not getting there.

"Jake... I think they want the pack's alpha for his genetic material…" I said softly. He still looked confused then his pupils dilated. His mouth popped open.

"Do you mean...that they want to mate me with people to get werewolves…" he said in a small voice.

"Probably the half vampires," I said, feeling sick for him. He looked away looking green. I snatched a trash can and gave it to him so he could throw up. He did so looking miserable.

"It's probably shock from the broken bones," I said kindly, to spare him. He nodded, looking upset.

"If you want to run with Ness we understand…" I said calmly. "No one expects you to endure…" I couldn't say it.

"Rape," he breathed. At that point I had no idea what to say. I had no advice I could offer. I didn't even know what I would do.

"She's going to want to go and I'm not going to be able to explain this to her…" he said in a surprising calm voice. I stared at him in shock.

"Listen, please do me this favor," he looked at me looking panicked. His eyes were full of tears. I felt at a loss, upset that he was losing composure. "Please don't tell her. If anyone is going to, it will be me someday. I can't bear it. Her knowing," he said sniffing as tears started running down his face. "I'm sorry," he said looking away.

"No, come here," I said pulling him toward me and hugging him, but careful not to jostle him.. He clutched me back trying to get his breathing under control. "I'm so sorry," I said patting his back. "It's going to be okay," I said even though it sounded empty. How could it be okay to know you were going to be raped, and you were accepting it? He gasped, thinking it too. "It's okay," I said again. "You can get through anything. I know you can, you're strong," I comforted. And eventually time heals all wounds, I thought. He let go and I gave him some tissues. "We will do our best to break you out before that happens. I promise," I said looking into his eyes.

"And you won't tell her, or anyone?" He verified. I nodded feeling like it was a deal with the devil. _But could she ever forgive_ me… _I'd be betraying her_. And I knew he'd rather die than do that.

"No...Jake no… No it's not that. You're trying to save her life," I said voice hoarse, tormented by what was happening. He gasped and more tears fell.

Ness came back, we looked at her and she looked at Jake's red eyes and tears and gasped. She moved up to him and reached to cradle his face.

"Honey, what's wrong?" She asked sounding panicked. She looked at me and she couldn't help but wonder if it was my fault. She wiped his tears gently and he stared agonized at her face when she wasn't looking. Then he spoke instead of me, and she looked back. The expression was gone.

"It's nothing, Edward had to reset a few of the bones. They weren't quite right. I'm a baby," he lied easily.

"Oh, no you're not, it's okay," she said, hugging him gently. "Can he have painkillers?" She asked me.

"Yes, I'll be right back," I said robotic-like. I decided not to harbor any negative thoughts against him anymore. Jacob Black was more mature and self sacrificing than me. Willing to experience the worst thing on Earth to protect her life. I couldn't ever hope for more and couldn't want almost anything less. Less than what we were going to do.


End file.
